Don't Play The Victim
by urharmony
Summary: SEMMA./ What if Rick chose a different way to hurt Emma? It ends up with him in jail, Emma a surviving victim, and the return of Emma's ex, Sean Cameron. After being stalked and attacked by Rick, Emma thinks it's finally over, until there is someone else between her and Sean who is a ticking bomb waiting to go off due to her insecurities and jealousy. Ellie. (Thriller/Romance)
1. Too Late

**The Beginning.**

Emma bit the end of her thumb, sitting curled up on the corner of the couch, wearing her blue jean skirt and white tank top. The blonde bangs across her forehead couldn't cover the wild, worried looking eyes of hers.

The tv was off, and all the lights in the house minus the room she sat in.

She jumped, closing her eyes when the phone rang. She opened them, narrowing them at the phone sitting on the coffee table and ringing almost tauntingly at her.

 _'He won't stop, and you know it_..' Emma thought, and with a paranoid feeling, got up and looked around her empty, **quiet,** living room.

She glared back at the phone.

Snake and Spike had gone away to Grandma's, taking Baby Jack with them. She wished she told them to stay. She wished she told them that she didn't feel safe alone. She wished it wasn't too late to tell someone that **he** was scaring her. Stalking her..

The phone stopped, and Emma stared for a moment at it. She knew better though. He'll call again. Harass her, until she plugged the phone out- then come knocking on her door and windows.

 _'Call 911_.' Emma thought to herself, going to pick up the phone quickly before he called back and yelped and jumped again when it went off, Rick calling her **again.** The 10th time tonight. She bursted into tears and looked around the house one more time before picking it up and yelling into the phone.

"Leave me alone, Rick!" she hung up, whimpering and dropped the phone, choking on a small cry before trying to just count to 10 and calm down.

It all started the day Jimmy or whomever pulled that prank on Rick, when Rick tried to force himself on her. Or maybe it started earlier than that.. . Rick tells her all the time that **she** started this. That **she** led him on.

But she didn't. All she did was stick up for him once at the Dot, and then he followed her around since. She tried to be the supportive, righteous person she was, but slowly, she began to see the person Spinner, Jimmy and Paige insisted Rick was. Abusive and scary. Mental.

The door knocked and Emma spun around, her eyes wide.

Her lights then went out and then a bang and struggle were heard, Emma's cries and pleas ignored by her attacker.

"Stop! No!"

 _TO BE CONTINUED..._


	2. Haven't You Heard?

**Sean's Point of view..**

 ** _When I was 13, and had met Emma, I knew she was different. I'm not talking about how she protested about everything either, or how she stood out in crowds, or would always put up a fight to have her way… I meant she was different by the things she'd been through and I could see it in her_** ** _eyes_** ** _._**

 ** _I could tell by how she stared at me back the first day I walked into Mr Simpsons class. The way she watched me wasn't about crushing on me, or seeing what I was about… she watched me because she was curious, she could tell there was something about me too._**

 ** _I'd learn those things soon about her, how her father left when she was young, and how he was now in a mental institution. I'd find out how her mom was only a teenager when she raised Emma. I'd find out about Jordon too, even though Emma didn't like talking about it (I got the picture, online creepy older man looking for young girls)._**

 ** _When I found these things out about her, I finally knew her biggest secret. She, Emma Nelson, was a victim.. but she'd never act like one. She was so strong, so bold, and so fucking beautiful to me._**

 ** _It was never about Manny Santos, or Queen B, Paige Michealchuck, for me. I wanted the girl who looked into my eyes, the bad boy of Degrassi, and saw too, a victim who acted like some big tough guy. She figured me out. Poor little Sean wasn't loved by Mommy and Daddy and came from a trailer. I'd also deafened a kid in the ear once who use to pick fights with me. She's the only person I told that to._**

 ** _I wasn't in love with her when we dated. I was only 13, 14 and almost 15 years old when we dated for Christ Sakes. I didn't have nor know about those feelings yet. I just knew there was something about her I couldn't shake off even if I tried, but I didn't want to. I wanted to be around her, always. Well, up to the days before our break up. That's when she infuriated me the_** ** _most_** ** _. She stopped caring about me, paid more attention to Snake who had cancer, and she had every damn right to. My crush on her was getting unhealthy, and unexplainable. So I called it quits, and she did too. It wasn't long that I had met new friends, new girl friends, and she moved on quick too._**

 ** _Or so we thought…_**

 ** _I'm almost 17 years old now. I'm with Ellie, who when I had met, I had thought she looked like she had secrets too and she did (Drunk mothers, self harm, Dad in Iraq). The sad thing was when I tried to get closer to her, and started dating her, was that I noticed something I couldn't fall in love with… She acted like the victim. She had every right too, but I just couldn't see any beauty in that. Instead of standing up, she ran away. Instead of holding her head high, she held it low, and hurt herself by cutting her arms. She cried a lot, and I had to pick up the pieces as much as I could._**

 ** _I was stuck with her now though, and I guess in some weird way I like that she leans on me. Makes me feel wanted again._**

 ** _Emma was the only person before Ellie that made me feel wanted and I got addicted to it I think. When she went MIA because of Snake when we dated, I took it so hard. Guess I liked to be taken care of too and Ellie tried to do that too when she moved in with me but it wasn't the same. There was no connection like I had with Emma._**

 ** _Something was missing._**

 ** _I'm not in love with Ellie, but I am in love now and know exactly what it means. How it makes me feel. Problem is, I'm not in love with my girl friend.._**

 ** _..I'm in love with Emma, my ex. Who I had already let go out of stupidity and young mistakes, misunderstandings. Was this what had felt unhealthy and unexplainable to me in the past? Love?_**

 ** _Or had I_** ** _just_** ** _fallen in love with her upon seeing her again now that we're older? .._**

… ** _.._**

 ** _Want to know how it happened? It was the start of this year, we were back to school, and I met up with Jay, Ellie and the gang, and then_** ** _she_** ** _walked in… head held up high, smiling so brightly, those long tanned legs walking down the hall like she owned it._**

 ** _Emma had grown up a lot too. She'd always been beautiful to me, but now she was not only pretty, but sexy too, and had a blossomed body that the whole school was noticing and she was showing it off, much to my shock. But Emma always did that, had me at th_** e **_edge of my seat. It took me a few days of being moody, one fight with Ellie, and a small shove I gave to Chris Sharpe in the hallway for no reason for me to understand what was making me so mad.._**

 ** _They didn't_** ** _know_** ** _her, those guys who were drooling over her new look, not even Chris Sharpe knew her and he was_** ** _datin_** ** _g her. They didn't know the things I knew of her, or probably didn't even care about her eyes, her past, her secrets, or her beauty on the inside. They were infatuated with the outside. Who could blame them? But it bothered me._**

 ** _I tried to ignore it, but then Rick Murray showed up. I heard things, but I didn't read into them or care about rumors until Emma, herself, handed me an orange ribbon in the hallway one day during one of her campaigns with Paige about Rick. I knew she was getting too close. It worried me until I found out from Jay that she had stood up for Rick when Jay tried to pummel the 'Psychos'' ass. I was proud of her, for being her again, and standing up…._**

… ** _..until I noticed Rick getting too close to Emma now. They were 'friends', kind of, but I knew just by watching the way he watched her that he thought it was more than that._** ** _He_** ** _wanted more. He didn't understand Emma wasn't doing this because she liked him, but only believed it was a good cause- Cause girl, remember?_**

 ** _I tried to ignore it._**

 ** _And that's when something, horrible, very terrible, happened._**

No One's Point of view:

Sean had just walked into the Dot, on a Saturday, and it wasn't as crowded as usual. Weather even seemed too stormy and grey. He was meeting Ellie and the gang here, they had made plans today and they sat quietly in a booth in the corner.

When they saw Sean coming over, he noticed they seemed shocked to see him.

When Sean sat, Ellies hand rested on his thigh, giving it a little 'supportive squeeze', and Jay was looking at his friend with his grey almost see through eyes. Alex even looked less of a bitch than normal.

"What's going on?" Sean asked, missing something.

Jay and Alex shared an odd look in front of him, like he wasn't there or something. That irritated him. Ellie kept staring at him too and when Sean glanced at her ,she looked away, and then down at the table.

She finally spoke, "I should of come home last night, but mom wanted to me stay the night to watch a movie," She glanced from Sean to Jay and Alex, "I didn't hear about what happened until this morning." Her big green eyes stared back at Sean again, shimmering a bit but also looking at him like testing him or something.

Sean had no idea what was going on, and honestly, was getting a little sick of it.

"What happened this morning?" he shrugged, looking at them all. He didn't watch the 'news'. Wasn't his kind of 'show'. So depressing sometimes, or boring.

Jay looked him weirdly this time. Sean's always known Jay was an asshole, but he also knew he had some feelings..deep down.

"Didn't you hear what happened last night?" Jay asked, sizing Sean up like he didn't know if he was ready to hear this.

And maybe Sean wasn't.

Sean glanced around to see the girls, Alex and Ellie, looking at him. Once again, Ellie was studying for a reaction too hard from him. It made him want to snap at her, but he took a calm, deep breath.

Sean rubbed his hands down his exhausted face, and leaned back with a sigh, "Someone just tell me."

They all looked away from him, all but Alex. Ah, theres the bitch we know and love.

That is until Sean saw sympathy in her eyes he'd never seen before. Deep down, they must of also known he was still in love with _her._

"Rick attacked _Emma_ last night, in her own home." Alex even said Emma's name softer, or maybe it just always stood out more to Sean when someone else mentioned her. But when someone said her name in a sentence like that…

He went into a bit of a shock.

Alex went on explaining, "Police went on a frenzy looking for him all day today. He tried to hide out at Issacs, but Toby turned him in." Alex looked to Jay who nodded, looking at Sean incase he needed someone to silently let him know this wasn't some sick joke. It was true. "Some are saying when the police caught him, he was covered in her blood."

"Too much info, Alex." muttered Jay, even a slight bothered look raining over his face.

And Sean looked pale as a ghost, his mouth slightly hung. His heart either pounding too hard or not at all.

Was she okay?

What happened?

What'd Rick do?

Was she okay?

"Is she okay?"

"Oh Sean," Ellie whispered, clenching her hand on his thigh again but then raised it up to his arm to caress it. You could see it though, the slight jealousy in her eyes that he was acting this way for his ex..

Sean didn't even flinch or move, didn't even look at Ellie, and the room was getting hot, but he felt cold. He was also getting paler, and dizzy.

Jay added with a cringe of his own, "People have been saying Ricks been stalking her for weeks.. they found like 200 ignored calls on her phone from him, text messages going from _I love you's_ , to _I hate you's_. Meanwhile, all she texted back was one: _Leave me alone._ "

 _"Sick fuck."_ Alex cursed under her breath, trying to cover up how much this even sent chills up her spine. The only other person who made her cringe as much as Rick was maybe Chad, but now Rick took the cake. "She's in the hospital last we heard."

"I heard all the reporters are trying to get a story already out of her." Ellie said, picking her drink up and sipping it. She gazed around and noticed only Jay narrowed his eyes strangely at her. She ignored it.

Sean couldn't take this in. Hospital. She was at the hospital.

"SEAN!" Ellie cried out when he stood up and he stood up too fast, didn't even look up. The waiter had come with the rest of their drinks they ordered earlier, and Sean crashed into him hard, drinks going everywhere. They smashed on the ground and waiter fell back on the ground with Sean staring down while panting heavily.

"S-sorry." He said and looked back at his friends. They all stared wide eyed at him and he swallowed hard before he turned and charged out.

He had to go see her.

Had to go see Emma.

 _ **Author note: What do you guys think! I re-did just a bit of the story! Not many changes though. So do you think Emma is okay? Can you tell Ellie's already a little off her rocker? I feel like she has always been an insecure girl and she always had a weird vibe around Emma What do you think? Leave reviews! They motivate me to update more !**_


	3. The Hospital

Sean stood paralyzed in front of the hospital. He couldn't believe the paparazzi in front. There was no way he was getting in. There was no way he could go see Emma.

I mean, would she even allow him to? As far as he knew. . they weren't even friends at this point

' _I need to make sure she's okay..'_ he thought desperately, squinting his eyes at the hospital and trying to figure out how he could get in. Maybe the back? Been a while since he picked a lock but maybe he could do it. It was worth the trouble he might get into. .

The weather was still stormy, but luckily, no rain just yet. Behind Sean, Jay's orange civic drove through the hospital fence, and into the busy parking lot. He passed by the other cars and reporter vans, not to mention 100's of people, then pulled up behind Sean and just parked right there.

Sean turned, hearing the car doors opening and Jay, Alex and Ellie got out. Jay actually passed Sean a sympathy nod, and stood behind him with whatever he wanted to do. He was a fan of breaking into things too, so maybe Sean would go with the back door after all..

"Sean! What are you doing?" Ellie asked Sean, wearing her warm leather jacket and tried to wrap her arms around his arm since he only wore his thin grey hoody. It was bloody cold out!

Sean didn't care.

"They aren't going to let us through." Alex said, matter of factly, watching the riot out front. Two camera men were even slapping another childishly to get further up front.

Seans furrowed his eyebrows, and just crossed his arms, waiting and holding a hard stare on the front of the hospital. He'll wait. He didn't care how long he had to wait.

"Sean, you're going to get sick, lets just go!" Ellie yelled at him. He ignored. Jay and Alex even shared a look.

Ellie couldn't believe this. She rolled her eyes and turned from Sean, walking back to Alex and Jay while muttering, "I can't believe he's doing this." she leaned on the orange civic.

Jay raised an eyebrow at her and Alex snickered, "What? Wanting to see if a girl he knows _quite well_ is okay?"

Ellie caught Alex's tone, who was noting silently Ellie knew just **how well** Sean and Emma knew another.

"Sean, come on." Ellie said, trying to soften her voice and gave him a pleading look. She was more worried about _him,_ catching a cold out here. No matter what Alex or even Jay's side looks were trying to suggest, she knew who Sean came home to.

Sean didn't even look over his shoulder, "You guys go." he insisted. He stood his ground.

Ellie's eyes narrowed madly at him but then rolled and opened the car door. "Fine." she got in and slammed the door shut behind her

Alex turned to Jay, who happily ignored the little vampires bitch fit. "You want me to stay, Cam?"

He didn't answer. Jay and Alex had a feeling he probably didn't even mean to ignore, he was just that out of it and determine to get inside.

Suddenly something caught Sean's eye. He quickly gazed at the paparazzi and back to the side of the hospital. Snake had snuck out, not seen or known so not bothered. Sean took off right then and there to go talk to him while trying to be as stealth as he could be too; making sure not to tip of the reporters.

Jay gave Alex a quick _'Be right back'_ , and went after Sean.

((*))

Snake was hurrying to his car, wearing his heavy black wind breaker and hat on his head, trying to hide himself as he looked down until he got to his vehicle. He grabbed his keys out of his pocket, and noticed his hands shaking a bit.

They haven't stopped shaking since he'd seen what Rick did to her. . that _bastard._ Snake had never known such violence like Rick had used on Emma until he thought of the things **he** wanted to do to Rick for what he did to her.

Rick was going to pay.

Snake looked up and jumped when he almost made it to the door but somebody dashed in front of it, "Mr S" the familiar voice shocked him.

He thought it was another weasel reporter.

Snake couldn't believe it himself, Sean Cameron was standing in front of him, looking like shit too. He and Snake had that in common. In ways it made sense to Snake that Sean was here, but he didn't have time to talk about that with him.

"Sean. I have to go."

Sean noticed how pale and flushed Snake looked himself. Sean didn't want to see that. He felt it meant everything wasn't okay, and then he glared at the ground. Of course all was not **okay.**

His thick, shaped eyebrows furrowed. "How is she?" he had to ask, and looked in agony as he locked eyes with Snake who swallowed.

Snake's mouth parted, and turned his head when he heard another pair of footsteps and saw Jay Hogart stop at the side.

He took a moment, and glanced back at the riot at the front of the hospital. "Come on." he told the boys, and opened the car door.

Sean looked back at Jay, and quickly got in. Jay hesitated, looked back at his car and decided it'd be fine with Alex. Maybe he should of told Alex he was leaving, but he just felt Sean needed him more. Plus, Alex was a big girl. She acted fine with this, just pissed.

Jay hated to admit, but he wasn't fine with this. Not at all. Sure he picked on Emma time to time and they bugged another every chance they got but it felt like that was their 'thing'. If he had to pick his most 'favorite enemy', she would be it. In a way, he knew deep down he kind of respected her, annoying as she may be, but he also knew she'd always be around. Her and Sean had a pull on another, and Jay knew like many others, that they weren't over. He even liked her a lot better than Ellie. Even Amy. He just never thought guys like him or Sean belonged with girls like Emma. But Sean proved him wrong on that.

..until he even tricked Sean into thinking it.

He also felt guilty about this whole Rick thing, remembering the day he stood up to protect Emma, and should of beaten Rick's ass that one day at the Dot. It made Jay's blood boil knowing Rick hurt the girl who stood up for him that day and even stopped Alex's fist from meeting his face.

If he ever saw Rick again, Jay would do more than just throw a punch. He'd throw the guy off a roof, then go celebrate with Sean.

((*))

With Jay in the back, and Sean in the passenger seat, Snake drove in silence. It was dark now, and through the quiet drive, Jay finally spoke up. "Why are we driving _away_ from the hospital?" Jay asked.

Sean was quiet. Snake too. Until he spoke up while turning down a road that led to home. "Emma's not at the hospital anymore. We snuck her out hours ago."

Sean turned his head to look at Snake, and they turned onto Emma's street. "Is she okay? Can we come in?" Sean couldn't believe it, he swallowed hard, feeling his heart jumping in his throat.

Maybe that meant she was okay. If it was severe injuries, they would of forced her to stay at the hospital.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." admitted Snake, driving and struggling with the thought of that. Would Emma want to see Sean? Or would that just upset her more?..

They parked in the driveway, all quiet again. Jay had to ruin it once more, "At least let him say hi." he nodded pointedly at Sean, "He's losing his mind up there. Will shit his pants soon."

Sean glared over his shoulder at Jay from the passenger seat, and Snake turned his head to see indeed Sean looked flustered, upset, and pale. He chuckled softly, and guessed the ol' Semma pair weren't through like he had thought. He was always on Sean's side. Not that he wasn't on Emma's, he just hoped Emma wouldn't give up on Sean. They were young when they broke up; but they always had this chemistry about them..and the young made mistakes. This though, this was going to change their relationship, and Emma, **a lot.**

"If she says no, I need you to go. " Snake confirmed, and raised an eyebrow at Sean, waiting for him to accept that.

Sean's eyes widened a bit but he nodded. He couldn't believe Snake was allowing this. In the back, Jay snickered softly, noticing big 'bad' Cameron looking all frazzled and desperate over seeing his old flame.

((((****))))))

"It's okay, Manny." shushed Caitlyn, rubbing Manny's back who cried silently on the couch beside her in the Nelson/Simpson house hold. Spike sat across that couch on the sofa chair, staring numbly at the coffee table. Caitlyn had come for support from New York.

"I should of _known,_ I should of told someone." Manny 's voice cracked and she sobbed, trying to contain herself and covering her mouth with the back of her hand while tears rolled down her cheeks.

Spike looked over, and softened. "Manny," she told her daughters best friend, "Nobody knew he would do _this._ Not even Emma." she took a deep, shakey breath. "The best thing we can take from all this is that he'll be locked up for good...and Emma's.." she trailed off, wondering if saying _'Emma was okay'_ was too far fetch.

She was downstairs, in her room, far from okay. She wanted to be alone, with the lights off, and last time Spike checked up on her, she was curled up in a ball, just laying on her bed but not sleeping. Still in the torn clothes from the night before.

Spike closed her eyes when the horrible flashback of racing into ER came to mind. Emma had blood over her thighs and skirt that they had just bought together at the mall just days before. It was a 'girl' day, just for them. Then, Emma's tank top was ripped apart on one shoulder, with a little blood splatter on the front too. She had a bruise against her cheekbone, a split lip from where Rick hit her, and probably scarred for life from that sick, sick boy.

Spike wanted to see Rick burn. Fry. She's never felt such rage like that or wished death on anyone before.

He had broken into their home, attacked Emma, _raped_ her on the kitchen floor, then chased her down when she tried to run away out the back door when he turned his back to get dressed again after taking away her innocence. She plead, and cried, and Spike told Emma she never had to re-tell the story again. Infact, Spike already was thinking about moving out of the house.

Emma didn't need the memories. She, herself, could barely walk into the kitchen. There was some blood on the floor when they first came home, and some on the back door that was a bloody imprint from when Emma had raced out. Nice as it was to know, the blood in the back yard against the fence was Ricks, when Emma had unknowingly grabbed a knife before she ran out and used it on him when he tried to stop her from fleeing.

That's when Rick went to Toby's. Toby was struck in awe when he opened the door to Rick who tried to act like nothing was the matter at all, but meanwhile, he had his own and Emma's blood all over him. Not knowing yet whose blood it was, when Rick asked to use Toby's bathroom, to clean up, Toby let him, then called the police at once.

When Toby found out it was Emma, he was in shock. Supposedly he was still at the police station being questioned, with some Physiatrist trying to help him recover from the incident.

Nurses and professionals tried to talk to Emma, but she just wanted to go home. She was talking after she was brought in from emergency and set up in a room. She kept pleading and asking Spike and Snake if she could just go home after all the check ups and clean up to her wounds were done. To the Doctors, it was odd she was already speaking, and wanting to leave; but her eyes said it all. She was numb inside. Something was off

But she had no broken bones, no **real** injuries, as Dr Scott said. She was only scarred for life and innocence taken away from a monster during the most horrible painful hour of her life. No biggie though..

The door opened, snapping Spike out of it and raised her head to see Snake come in, both locking eyes and she sighed a bit happily. He always made things a little brighter.

..that was until Sean came in behind him, and Manny noticed Jay Hogart too, her eyebrows furrowing

Manny was more thrown off at Sean though, her mouth hanging and tears still wet on her cheeks. "What is _**he**_ doing here?" the bitter tone cut through Sean.

He looked away and him and Jay stayed against the wall across the room. Spike looked shocked too until she cleared her throat and looked around at everyone, smiling uneasily. "Tea, anybody?" she even raised her eyebrows to the boys politely, waiting for an answer.

Nobody wanted tea.

Snake blinked, and watched his wife in denial go to the kitchen, pausing before she entered the haunted domain.

He looked back at Sean and Jay before he whispered, "Just wait here." with that, he went downstairs.

"I'm going to go help Spike with the tea." Caitlyn informed, getting up to go see if Spike was okay.

This left Manny, Sean and Jay awkwardly standing in the room together. Sean could hardly raise his eyes to look at Manny. And Manny was glaring right at him furiously from the couch ; which was odd, since she use to be on Team Sean. She always loved them together. But now, and I guess after this, Manny was dead set on not letting anyone hurt Emma again

Sean understood that. Respected it even.

Jay couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at this girl, sort of impressed she could hold a fierce stare that long. "Glare any longer, and your face might stay like that."

Manny glared at him next, and then scoffed, looking away. Did he really think it was the time to joke? She leaned back on the couch and crossed her arms and just decided to ignore them.

Jay gave Sean a look, who seemed to just be ignoring him too or in his own world. He was staring at the door that led to Emma's room.

After a moment, Jay couldn't help but glance back at the girl. Manny was it? Manny Sanders or something, or 'School slut' if you asked anybody else. He knew she went to Degrassi. He never knew she and Greenpeace were friends though. .

Oddly, he was shocked he never really knew her at all. She was pretty hot, even if that wasn't exactly what was on his mind right now but he wasn't blind. How did someone like her get passed his radar? He squinted his eyes at her for her to slowly glance back at them too and caught his stare. "What?" she snapped and then sighed, rolling her eyes.

She stood up and walked by them, mumbling under her breath. "Tell Spike I took the guest room to get some rest. Wake me if Emma needs me."

With that, she was gone. Jay watched her go and disappear up the stairs, then turned back to Sean. Romeo was still starin' at Emma's door.

Snake finally came out, and coughed as he noticed them waiting there still, Sean on the edge of his seat. "She actually just finally went to sleep." he confessed.

Down the stairs, Emma's eyes went from closed, to fluttering open. Her eyes were blank, and she heard the movement and muffles of talk upstairs. She also heard Snake coming down and pretended to sleep when he came down to check on her for the millionth time.

She wanted to be alone. Forever. If that a thing or no?

Emma hugged the pillow under her head and tried to shut her eyes without seeing the flashes of what Rick did to her flash by.

It was no use though.

 **Author note: Reviews guys! In order for more chapters, I need reviews! I'm so happy I went along with this, I got some good, original ideas that I think you'll love. Semma coming VERY soon, I promise. Next chapter is already done but I'll post when I feel ready! Tehe.**


	4. Don't Say You're Sorry

NExt Chapter: Don't Say Sorry.

Only the guys were up now, ladies gone to bed. The guys sat on the couch now with Snake on the sofa chair and pouring himself a small glass of whiskey.

It was quiet, and they listened to it pour and another pair of glasses ding when Snake got two more out for Jay and Sean.

Guess it was a 'special' occasion. They were after all almost 18. They were a little older than Emma. Sean by a year, Jay by...hell, who knows.

"Don't tell your mothers." joked Snake lightly, but miserably gulped some of his down.

Sean just stared at his, but wouldn't take it. Jay sipped on his and sighed to deliciousness of alcohol at a time like this "What mothers?" he joked back.

No one laughed. Jay didn't expect them to though.

Sean felt his phone vibrate, and took it out of his sweaters pocket. Ellie. He carelessly put it on silent, and put it back into his pocket.

((*))

Downstairs, in the middle of the night, Emma finally slipped her clothes off, staring at the parts covered with dry blood before throwing them into the trash.

She slowly went to her bathroom, running her shakey fingers through her blonde hair, and got into the shower. Turning on her shower, she stepped under, letting the water fall on her.

She bit her lip, and looked down, watching the water rinse off everything on her and go down into the drain.

Too bad as it poured away the blood and dirt, it couldn't shed the demons and feelings she felt inside her.

Emma sniffed, and snuffled once more, before breaking out into tears and sobbed as quietly as she could, not wanting to wake her mom up.

((*))

After her shower, Emma put on her black silk housecoat, that reached just her knees. Feeling a bit thirsty, she glanced up her bedroom stairs, wondering if anyone was still awake or if she could sneak into the kitchen for water.

When she got up the stairs, wincing a bit from the soreness, she quietly opened the door. She saw some light coming from the living room, so she peaked out first, her vulnerable showing and not wanting to be caught.

She couldn't bare to 'talk' right now.

But then she saw just _who_ was in the living room.

Snake, Jay and Sean had fallen asleep where they sat. The whiskey bottle was done, and the cups empty. Sean looked the less comfiest on the couch, but the most tired.

Emma had to quietly come right out from behind the door to the entrance of the living room to make sure it was **truly** him.

Sean Cameron.

Was this some _joke?_

 _ **FLASHBACK:**_

 _ **"Why aren't you dancing?" Sean asked Emma. He was young at this time, barely probably even 14. He was coming a little closer to her from where he stood by a tree. He stood far off from her parents' wedding, but he came, came for her at least. And he even wore a tie! He looked so cute.**_

 _ **Emma, with her crazy hair that day, still looked pretty in her mother's bridemaid dress and the blush on her cheeks made him smirk a bit more, but wearily. They had just broken up, and he was here to see if they could maybe, get back together.**_

 _ **Then she smiled and replied with an innocent shrug, "Nobody caught my interest."**_

 _ **He hesitated before he asked, coming even closer to her, "How bout' now?" his hands slid onto her waist.**_

 _ **"I'd love to."**_

 _ **END OF FLASHBACK.**_

Emma closed her eyes, and mentally pushed the memory in her head away from when she was just some stupid 13 year old girl.

She snickered quietly, shaking her head and forcing the tears that were trying to burn her eyes away. Her heart and the _feelings_ that she was trying hard to not feel today were getting the best of her.

What the hell did Sean think he was doing her? Why was he **here?** And more importantly, why the hell was Jay Hogart here?

She went to turn, to leave and go get that stupid drink she needed. She stopped dead in her tracks though, staring into the dark kitchen with a horrified look across her face as the place Rick had attacked her, nearly shined in the very spot he raped her in by the spotlight of the moonlight through the window.

 _ **Flashback:**_

 _ **Emma screamed and tried to wriggle away as Rick slammed himself back and forth into her, her skirt forced up and panties torn apart. He was panting and repeating 'I love you', but he slugged her in the face with his fist when he bent down to kiss her and she bit him. His hit knocked the breath out of her. She lay gasping even as he pounded into her viciously. She begged, she pleaded, but as her shrieks grew more desperate, he grew more violent. He started getting mad again.**_

 _ **"Why didn't you just love me, Emma!?"**_

She could feel the blood as it dripped down her legs. She sobbed brokenly. "No, please," she begged. "Please..." She repeated it over and over again choking and sobbing. "Please! Don't! Rick nooooo!"

 _ **END OF FLASHBACK.**_

Emma jumped out of it hearing her own screams in her head feel like they had just come out of her mouth. Tears poured down her cheeks and she turned, running back down to her room.

Rick had broken her. Made her damaged goods, dirty, and _broken._

As she numbly sat in her bed, still not a minute of shut eye, she understood now that she would **never** be the girl she use to be.

Maybe it was better to just accept that now.

She finally laid down, closing her eyes exhaustedly, and let herself finally fall asleep.

(((((((****)))))

Before the boys in the living room knew it, the sun was shining in. Sean stirred after Snake woke and tapped his arm before standing.

"I'll see if she's up." Snake said groggily, and Sean went from completely exhausted, to wide awake.

He nodded, watching Snake go back down Emma's stairs, and Jay stirred awake beside him next.

"Fuck that was an _uncomfortable_ sleep." he declared.

Sean rolled his eyes at him.

((*))

"Em?" Snake whispered, making it down to Emma's room and found it shocking her lights were on, sun shining through her windows to light up her room.

And she sat on the end of her bed.

Painting her toe nails.

She wore a nice fitted cotton white shirt, and a pair of fitted blue jeans.

She looked up, her _everything_ looking different, but looking the same at all the same time too. Snake wasn't sure how to describe it.

He glanced around her room, and saw not just a pair of clothes in her trash but all her old younger teen clothes.

"You okay?" he asked, coming over.

She looked up from her toes again and said back, "Fine." you know, other than that 'thing' the other night; oh! And her ex up stairs that her **Dad** let in.

Snake sat down next to her, and frowned at his own question. No wonder he got such a half ass response. Ofcourse she wasn't okay.

"Doctor Scott will be over later on, same with that therapist, Mrs Andrews."

Emma said nothing, just went back to painting her nails and kept staring at the dark red color that covered them.

Snake cleared his throat and finally came out with it, "Someone is here.. to see you."

"Tom Hanks?" Emma joked with half bitterness, and the rest sarcasm. Snake had no idea she knew who was here. She didn't know why Sean wouldn't just leave. They haven't talked in a year. Who was he with again lately? Elsa, or something. Emma didn't care.

Oh wait, _ **Ellie**_. That's it. Ellie Nash.

Snake didn't get the joke, and was too worried to laugh or say anything as he prepared himself to say it.

"Sean." he scrunched his face up as he also added, "And oddly, Jay Hogart."

"Fine."

Snake's eyes widened, turning to Emma who was closing up her nail polish and didn't look bothered one bit. But still...cold.

He hated to see her like this.

But wasn't it better than curled up on the bed? In the dark. Crying.

"Really?" he asked to be sure.

Emma got up and put her nail polish back in it's place on her dresser before turning back to Snake, shrugging carelessly, "I survived Rick Murray, I think I can survive a visit from my ex."

Snake was about to get up until he paused at that, and eyed Emma hard, before trying to shrug it off but he couldn't. "Emma, **are you** okay?" he walked over to her.

Emma shrugged out of his touch when he went to put a hand on her and hid the small whimper that escaped her lips with a huff. "Fine," She snapped, and walked to the stairs, motioning for him to go up it.

Snake stood there, still confused and worried, but frowned and nodded. He went, Emma's eyes watched him go up and disappear to go get Sean.

Emma felt the numbness fade, a scared, and worried look crossing over her features.

Maybe she wasn't as brave as she thought. She felt her heart pounding, and quickly walked back to her bathroom, closing it quickly behind her while panting and losing her breath.

"I can't breath," she gasped to herself, feeling her lungs closing and started to pace back and forth in the bathroom with big worried eyes. " _ **I can't breath**_." She sobbed.

((*))

Sean took weary steps as he came down the stairs a few minutes after, not sure how to go about this. He swallowed, and wore just his wife beater and jeans now. His muscles clenched as he crossed his arms but then he uncrossed them and looked down unknowingly at his hands.

How should he stand? What should he say to her? Should he stand a certain distance away?

He ran his fingers through his short hair, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to figure out what to say to her as he finally reached the last step. _Shit,_ he was already here. He gazed hard around her room.

She was nowhere in sight.

"Em?" when the old nickname left his lips, he almost cringed when he heard the familiar tone of his whenever he said _her_ name. It was so soft, and concerned.

The bathroom door was shut, so he took the hint she was in there and nearly jumped when it naturally swung open, and she came out, looking like she had no care in the world, and everything was peachy. Her hips even swung so woman like as she walked by and just _merely_ glanced at him.

"Hey." she greeted with a sigh, and sat on the end up her bed. It was mad. Actually, her room looked as tidy as it usually did.

If it weren't for the slight bruise on her cheekbone, and slight scar on her lower right lip; Sean wouldn't of known anything ever happened (minus the fact he had nightmares about it). But then again, her strange behavior cut him like a knife and he knew too well that she was going through something hard here, something even maybe Emma Nelson herself didn't know how to come back from.

Emma locked eyes with him so simply, like his appearance didn't affect her like it was affecting him.

She sat on the edge of her bed, gazing up at him now as he stared down at her. He opened his mouth, but found himself speechless.

"What? No Jay?" she nearly mocked, getting more comfy as she tilted her head up at him. The sun hit her long blonde hair so perfectly that Sean could barely rip his eyes off her.

Sean glanced away and cleared his throat, "He's upstairs." _'Stop staring at her, you fucking idiot',_ he thought to himself.

That was the last thing she needed.

"I know." Emma shot back and raised an eyebrow when he looked back at her, "You two can barely cut the cord from another so I was just.. _shocked_." she taunted, but showed no shocked expression, just a look upon her face like she knew, and he knew, she was making fun of him. She seemed like she really had no feelings whatsoever to him being here.

Her tone, her eyes, everything was different to Sean. But she was still Emma. _His_ Emma. His heart, as stupid and cheezy as that sounded, still called to her. For her.

Sean furrowed his eyebrows at her, and she took the moment to eye him up and down. He was growing up. A lot. She tried hard in school to ignore him, but right now it was different, with him in front of her and all. He stood so tall, and buff, his blue eyes piercing down at her. He was giving her that old look he use to give her like he _**knew**_ her.

And she refused to let him think that he could know _anything_ about **this** Emma.

"You can go now..since you don't seem to have anything to say."

Sean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Emma, I just wanted to say that I-"

A quick pained expression crossed Emma's features, before anger flashed in her eyes and she snapped at him, cutting him off. "Don't even say _**'you're sorry'**_. It's far worse than _**'are you okay**_?'"

Sean opened his eyes, looking at her and felt taken back. The emotions, they were all back in her eyes, all at once and she seemed to be struggling to keep it together.

She shook her head, glaring around her room as she showed how much she hated those two words. " _I'm_ _ **sorry**_ " she snickered, and explained, "It's like people are trying to tell me **'I'm sorry** he touched you' , **'I'm sorry** he's going to affect you for the rest of your life', 'I'm sorry your life won't be the same after this'..or how about, " **I'm sorry** your first time was with a rapist psycho.?'"

Sean struggled with his own emotions now. He and Emma locked eyes, hers burning up with tears and him trying to hold his own in, plus the anger. He swore if he could; he'd kill Rick Murray for doing this to her. All Emma prided on was her innocence, rights and beliefs.. now all that was torn from her.

"Sorry _**isn't**_ good enough." Emma said with a crack in her voice and turned her head away from him. After a moment of silence, she asked, "Now can you please go?"

Sean clenched his jaw and nodded, putting his hands in his pockets but stood still. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay, and help her. But how the hell could he? He was her stupid ex boyfriend. They weren't even friends. He was the idiot who let someone like her go, the misfit who didn't deserve her, the trouble maker that would only hurt her, right?

He couldn't do a thing for her.

Emma quietly snuffled, hoping he wouldn't see that she was no crying, and she heard his footsteps go up the stairs.

She turned back, and now sat alone in her room. She laid back on her bed, and curled into a ball, sobbing into her blankets.

 **author note: stopping here until more reviews come. sorry.**


	5. The Trial and Emma's Return

Jay was waiting for Sean as he leaned on the a staircases railing by the living room. He was still in the Simpson/Nelson house, and he was ready to go, jacket on, and famous hat on too, his brown hair peaking out of it

Footsteps made him turn his head as he saw Miss Manny Santos coming down the stairs. He remembered her name earlier this morning. Well, Sean told him it, and also wondered why Jay was asking.

He was just curious.

"Morning Dimples." he smirked, turning his head back around until she rounded the corner to pass by him. She paused, squinting her eyes and not knowing why in hell he was still here but rolled her eyes and just tried to ignore him.

But it was kind of hard to.

"You're _still_ here?" she asked, crossing her arms.

He looked down at her, her hot glare still sharp and right at him. Those dimples though, he could still see em' against her soft, smooth cheeks.

"You're pretty mean for someone in this situation right now." he pointed out.

"Situation?" she repeated, now dropping her arms to rest them on her hips. This is the 'WATCH OUT' pose of Manny Santos, before she went ape shit. But who did Jay Hogart think he was? Did he think she didn't know **him?** Who didn't know Jay Hogart?!

"Emma was **raped** the other night, Jay. Rick could of killed her. We're trying to be here for her but, do you not get how your sarcastic tone and your ..ass headed face _isn't_ welcomed here!?"

His mouth parted, a little taken back by the mention of Emma's attack again. He hated to get 'real'. Real meant emotions, and dealing with things. He swallowed and coughed, itching the back of his head. He then glanced back and had to ask, "Ass headed face?"

Manny fumed and could just slap his handsome face! I-I mean, stupid face. Ass **headed** face, remember?! "All you ever did was pick on Emma, and we are here, trying to make her feel better. How do you think you could possibly help with that?"

Jay fell silent now, his eyes gazing back into Manny's heated gaze. She was right. And suddenly, and not often he felt like this but, he felt like a major asshole.

Sean opened the door from the basement and ripped them apart as he dove by, "We're going." he went to the door and opened it, gazing back at Jay. "You coming?" he barked.

Jay snuck a glance back at Manny, who avoided his gaze but crossed her arms. Her eyes snuck up at him once more though, maybe for reassurance that he got the point?

He nodded at Sean and moved around Manny, both careful not to brush bodies. Sean left out the door first, and when Jay reached the door, Emma was next to come out of her room.

"Morning." she said chirpily to Manny and just glanced at the front door, noticing Jay. His mouth even fell, and he of all people, were loss on words.

Emma was walking around like nothing happened to her. Both Manny and Jay glanced at another and back at Emma, in shock.

She walked to the kitchen and went to make breakfast.

"That was wierd." Jay admitted. Manny nodded, squinting her eyes as they watched Emma cook.

(((*)))

"Still not one call." Ellie said, staring at her phone with anger and confusion. "And he didn't come home last night!"

"Relax." Alex rolled her eyes from on Sean's couch. Ellie sat at the dining table behind but got up and went over to her.

"Why is he doing this to us?" she sat next to Alex, throwing her phone down on the couch with a pout.

"Maybe for once this isn't about _you_." Alex informed. She wasn't always the nicest or fondest of Emma Nelson, but deep down, maybe they respected another on some sort of level. "..and maybe it isn't about **you and him** either."

Emma Nelson went through a hell nobody quite knows about, not even Alex. She kinda..felt bad. Really bad. Ellie seemed not to care one bit though...

"It's always about her." Ellie growled under her breath, but before Alex could question _that,_ the door opened with Jay and Sean.

Jay looked exhausted, and he merely nodded in greeting at Alex and Ellie. Alex turned back boredly, "Finally." she huffed.

"Missed you too." Jay dryly responded but had to love Alex. At least, best friend wise. Her bitchy tone was much like his sarcastic one. . but it wasn't sassy or hot like somebody he now knew..

Oddly, Manny Santos popped into his head as he popped open Sean's fridge and grabbed a beer.

He wondered if she was maybe was thinking about him too.

"Finally." Ellie said too, standing up and turning as Sean took his sweater off. "That took _forever."_

Sean on the other hand, went straight to his room.

Ellie turned her head, and wondered what was up with him, shaking her head a bit madly and threw her arms up a bit.

When Alex and Jay left, Ellie finally had the courage to go into his bedroom. "Sean?" she softly said into the dark room, leaning on the doorframe before going in and crawling into bed with him.

Sean had his back turned, but he was awake, staring at a blank wall. "Ellie. I'm just tired." he said

She laid behind him, putting one hand on his arm and stared at his retreated back, "Where were you last night?" jealousy couldn't help but stir inside Ellie.

She didn't know if it was due to Emma being Sean's ex, or who Emma was. Ellie had always been the misfit redhead in the middle of blonde and brunettes. She thought it use to be unique, but now she just sometimes wanted to be that popular blonde girl. Or the cheerleader. Or some days, Emma.

Sometimes she could see Sean still watching her in hallways.

It hurt a lot, but she was convinced he'd move on soon. They were getting pretty serious. She now lived here, granted only because he put pity on her and her problems, but she knew he really wanted her to move in with him because they were _happy_ together; at least that's what she told herself.

She felt him take a deep slow breath before he calmly answered, "Me and Jay got caught up at the Nelsons."

Ellie furrowed, "You slept at **Emmas?"**

Sean couldn't believe she asked that, so jealously.

"Where did you sleep?" she asked.

He turned and sat up, giving her a wild strange look, "What do you think happened? She was just _attacked_ , Ellie."

Ellie went to get real angry, but tried to calm down. "You left me alone, Sean. Didn't you think maybe you could come home and talk this out with _me?"_

Sean closed his eyes and shook his head, "There was nothing to talk about, Ellie!? I just had to see her."

There was silence for some time as he looked back at her, and she stared at him like he had hurt her badly right there. He frowned, wondering what he said to make her mad this side as she looked away, and snapped one her wrist band.

"Ellie, stop doing that."

She snapped it harder, glaring ahead. She gasped when he grabbed her arm and turned her head with tears in her eyes. "Tell me _**why**_ you had to go see your stupid little ex girl friend Sean!? The one you claim you hated!?"

Sean's mouth dropped, searching her eyes and seeing the fury. She was **not** happy about this.

They never talked about Emma, or Sean's past with Emma. Ellie beat around the bush and pretended Emma didn't even exist but she still always felt like she was competing for his heart for some reason.

She closed her eyes and took one shakey deep breath, "I'm sorry." she opened her eyes to see him still staring at her but nodded slowly, eyeing her though.

He never told Ellie he hated Emma. And he's never thought of Ellie as a _mean_ girl. Misunderstood, maybe. .but not cruel. Emma had been through something awful, why wasn't Ellie pitying that just a little?

"I'm ..sorry too." he barely whispered, still wondering if he really was or why he was even apologizing.

Ellie sighed and nodded, happily smiling and squished closer to him, "I love you, Sean."

He closed his eyes as she kissed him, and tried to kiss her back, slipping his fingers through her red hair. They didn't actually really say 'I love you' to another, but he didn't blame her for saying it just then. When he asked her to move in with him months ago, he may of worded it badly to make her think he did love her. What was it again? OH yeah, he said- ' _Move in with someone who loves you'._

Call him greedy then, when he had told her that. He was just trying to make their relationship work, and as he said before, she leaned on him so much with her problems. He couldn't stand to hear her cry about her mother one more time. It was the same thing every day; Ellie got upset, her mom drank, she tempted to hurt herself, and then Sean had to try to pick up the pieces.

As they kissed, Sean opened his eyes, narrowing them at the clock behind Ellie's head. He wondered if Emma would be at Degrassi tomorrow.. 12 more hours to go.

He pulled away when Ellie did, and she snuggled up to him. He felt tense, and he knew he was, as he tried to just relax.

 _'How long are we going to do this with Ellie?'_ his mind taunted him, " _You know you're just going to hurt her in the end and you know she can't deal with pain very well.'_

Sean tried to ignore his thoughts, closing his eyes and falling asleep next to Ellie. It was Emma who popped into his mind though before falling asleep, and he finally looked relaxed as he slept..

Ellie fluttered her eyes open as she laid her head on his chest, and he slept. Her eyes darkened, looking up at him and watching him for nearly two minutes before putting her head back down.

' _If Emma thinks she can just steal Sean back, she has another thing coming.'_ Ellie thought to herself, closing her eyes.

((((((((((***********))))))))))))

It took a while for Emma to return to school. When Sean got back to Degrassi, for the whole week, that was all people could talk about.

Even teachers.

Speaking of, Snake had come back days later but still no Emma. He was a little flustered, but managed his classes, beating around the bush as if nothing happened. Nobody asked him about Emma.

They wanted to though.

In the newspaper, they announced Rick was going to jail..and Sean tried to follow the trials but they all happened through classes. He tempted to skip math one day, but strangely, it's like Ellie read his mind and caught him before he stepped off campus. They ended up going to the Dot together, Sean pretending that was his plan all along.

Sean walked around the halls trying to act like he wasn't obsessed with looking at Emma's locker every day, trying to see if her friends Manny and Liberty, Jt and Toby were waiting for her.

The locker stayed untouched.

Toby came back though, and lots of people stared at him when he did. He was still touchy with everything; being Ricks only friend before everything happened and being the one Rick ran to after he brutalized Emma. Being one of Emma's good friends too, Toby didn't look like he had forgiven himself.

He was excused a lot for some classes too, Sean knowing it was because he went to court, to testify.

One day, Sean pulled him back under the stair case of Degrassi so he could ask what was going on during lunch. Jay, Alex and Ellie were probably looking for him, but he didn't care.

Toby stared bleakly, telling Sean what he wanted to know. He had no idea why he as asking though. Weren't he and Emma finished?

As he explained what happened, Sean had trouble trying to control his emotions..

"He was found guilty. Though he's only 17, he got charged like an adult but only for 10 years, good behavior." Toby said and snickered half heartedly, "He tried to plea _not guilty_. Emma was there, but never in the same room as him." his eyes teared up as he admitted, "I had to see him though. Have you ever seen someone with black soulless eyes?" he asked Sean

Sean swallowed hard, and walked out with that, charging off and needed to be alone. He pushed past people who yelped and got out of his way until he made it to the guys room.

Jimmy Brookes was in there, washing his hands, and turned to see Sean trying to fight the anger and everything away. He couldn't help but even tell Sean was caught up in a bad moment. "You alright?" he slowly asked, sizing Sean up and down.

Sean couldn't stand the fact _Jimmy_ was asking him that. He went to a stall and closed it hard, leaning back on it and resting his head back as he closed his eyes.

It was nice knowing Rick was sent to the real big house, but only 10 years? Should of gotten life. He stalked, harressed, attacked and raped Emma. Hell, he probably would of done worse if she hadn't gotten away. Maybe dumped her in the woods? Took her home with him? Held her hostage?

If Sean had the choice, he'd rather see the fuck electrocuted. And he hoped to god somebody in prison beat Rick to death.

(((*))

Finally, the third week was here, and Emma was not the talk of the school anymore but in fact it was Taylor Swifts new music video and how Craig Mannings and Ashley Kerwin were rumored to be dating again. Hot gossip right?

Sean was walking with his bag around his shoulder, dragging himself through the halls of Degrassi. He wore his white muscle shirt, jeans, and a black beanie on his head. Today felt zombie like. Everyone passing him to get to their next class even all looked gloomy and sluggish. The windows Sean passed had a view out out front of the school. It was cloudy and grey. He turned his head to glance outside as he heard a rumble of thunder, but still no rain-but a figure did catch his attention outside.

Emma?

He stopped in his tracks, and the other students just moved around him as he stood there. He looked around, and wasn't sure if what he was seeing was real but it looked like Emma was outside. She sat against a cement wall just under a little shelter from the bus stop near.

Sean walked out, hearing thunder again but was glad no other students were out here as he walked swiftly down the steps. And there Emma sat, her knees bent up, arms crossed naturally and jut sitting against a wall under the dark clouds.

She wore a comfy looking black fitted sweater, with another pair of hip hugging light blue jeans. Her hair was left down, natural, so a little wavy. Her eyes looked puffy and red too.

Sean stood there for a moment before grabbing his bag off his shoulder and sitting down with her. She turned her head, a little startled, until they connected eyes and he sat with her. He didn't take his eyes off her once.

She looked away and laughed a little softly. She looked down and she asked, "What are you doing?"

For once, it wasn't harsh or mean, or forced. It was just a simple question.

"I hate science class." he confirmed with a shrug. They ignored the fact of what they **really** wanted to talk about; but this was nice too.

"I love it." Emma admitted, lifting her gaze to stare at the parking lot. "Wish I could go in."

And she meant it. Snake and her mom had pulled her out of school for a little while. She was suppose to come back today though, hence why here, but she couldn't muster the courage to go in. Silence took over them, and they stared hopelessly at the parking lot in front of them.

Sean turned his head to sneak a glance at her and he smirked softly, looking down and joked, "If it helps..the hottest news right now is about Craig and Ashley."

Emma silently laughed, even smiled a little. It made his heart race. She went serious again as she confessed, "I miss the stupid things like that..."

Sean sadly frowned, and finally asked her, inching a bit closer, "How was it?" he almost caught himself reach his hand out, to take hers, and then clenched his fist shut.

She took a deep breath and asked, "The trial?" she looked at him, giving him a look she knew he was wondering. But why, was the question? She then answered.

"Found guilty..charged as an adult. Put away for 10 years." -she sounded robotic, as if she had it built in her brain.

Sean clenched his jaw and shook his head, "That's not enough."

Emma turned to look at him, and they got lost for a moment looking at another. "Sean," she said his name with that sweet voice of hers, and he swallowed. Until she asked hopelessly, "What do you _want_?"

He looked at her in such confusion, "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes, and it seemed like the civil time they had just shared was washed away. "I told you I don't need your pity. And I don't need to 'talk' either. I got Doctor Andrews for that." she snickered.

Sean looked punched in the gut

Emma continued, "And we're not friends," she squinted her eyes at him, and agony washed through his. "So. What do you **want?"**

He looked surprised, and then dumbfounded. "Maybe I want to be friends."

"What made you change your mind about _that?"_ she asked scornfully, "The day I almost _died?"_

"Long before that." he snapped back at her and wished she wouldn't say things like that. An awful knot grew in his stomach. Emma seemed even a bit shocked by his anger and honesty. She was use to people treating her like glass now; Sean didn't. He then looked regretful, and looked down "Our break up sucked-"

"Lets go."

Sean was cut off and looked back at Emma confused, mouth still hanging from the speech he was about to do. How he was sorry, for everything. She seemed well over it already though, even stood up. She looked down at him and raised an eyebrow.

He didn't take another minute to stand up, but wondered where they were going together.

((*))

Inside Degrassi, Ellie ignored the constant giggles from Ashley as they walked down through the hall of Degrassi.

She wouldn't shut up about Craig. Craig this, Craig that.

That was until something outside caught Ellie's attention...

At first, Ellie just noticed it was Sean, with a blonde girl. But then realization came to her that it was Emma. She was back. And they were **talking.** They seemed to be wrapped up in their own moment out there, standing under the grey dark clouds.

They were so fixated on another it made Ellie sick to her stomach. Didn't Sean even notice her standing right here?

((((((*****)))))

When Emma walked to her house with Sean in tow, Sean gave a small smile and leaned down to grab Jack's little basketball when he saw it on the end of the driveway. Emma stopped from on the porch, trying to get away from the rain and then she heard the bouncing of a ball. She turned to watch Sean stand still in the rain.

"What are you doing?"

He smirked over to her and dribbled it, "I miss it sometimes." he said.

Emma ran her hand through her wet hair, her stormy hazel eyes watching Sean with a curious look. "What? Playing with my brothers little basketball?"

Sean gave a short laugh, and then shot the little ball into the net up on the garage 7 feet away. Emma raised an eyebrow, a little impressed. He still had it.

"I'll let Jimmy Brookes know you want back on the team." Emma dryly said but a small smile formed on her lips. She led Sean in as he finally followed in behind her.

As he sat on her couch with her, they decided to watch a movie. She couldn't help but turn her head when she felt his eyes on her, and she caught him watching her. The old Emma would of blushed. But this Emma was confused.

What did he want? A little repeat action of the old days? Or to really be friends? Did she trust him? Not trust him? Too many questions screamed in her head.

Sean on the other hand looked quickly away and rubbed his neck, embarrassed. He tried to start a conversation, "Where's your mom?" he noticed the house empty. He didn't like the idea of Emma alone here.

"Work. Snake is too. Jacks at daycare."

Sean nodded.

Emma then sighed and rolled her eyes, getting more comfortable on the couch and even felt her eyes a bit heavy. She couldn't worry right now about what Sean could possibly really want from her. She was too busy with other worries.

Her eyes struggled to stay open and then Sean must of notice.

"Have you been sleeping?"

The worry in his voice made her laugh abit, "Yes, Dad."

Sean cornered his eyes, watching Emma laying there beside him, looking so exhausted and small.

"Go to sleep, Em."

And she did.

Sean gazed softly at her, as she slept soundingly. He then looked down, feeling his phone ringing in his pocket. But he left it be. He too shut his eyes for a bit for some shut eye.

 **Author Note: be nice and review guys! And you'll get longer chapters like this. Muahah.**


	6. You're A Survivor

" _Leave me alone, Rick!"_

Emma struggled towards consciousness, nightmares filling her dreams. Flashbacks..

' _Why couldn't you just love me, Emma!?;_

Fight. The voice in her head screamed at her. Fight!

Her eyes flew open only to be somewhere she didn't remember being. Was she home? Someone was restraining her, pinning her down. "EMMA!" the voice shouted.

FIGHT!

"No!" she wailed. "No, please! Please!"

"Easy, Emma," said a smooth, sensual voice. "Easy," he breathed, and it sounded so familiar.

His words felt warm and soft, and they flowed over her like a tender caress; calming her, soothing her. It was almost like the light brush of a lover's fingertips across her sensitive flesh and she felt her body tingling and trembling.

"You're okay." he promised

Her struggles subsided as she let the strange, sensual warmth of his words slide over her body and her mind. Her heart and her breathing slowed as she came off the adrenaline high from her struggle and she breathed heavily once again, almost like someone emerging from a deep comforting sleep.

"Sean?" she whispered at last.

"Yes."

Now everything was coming together. She was in her house, on the couch, the last thing she could remember was her and Sean outside Degrassi. In the rain. Then .. They must of come back here. Now, he laid over her, with such agony and worry in his eyes.

She must of fallen asleep, and that must of taken a dark turn.

"Oh God," she choked. She sobbed brokenly, but he held her close, rocking her, stroking his fingers through her hair.

Sean held her close, his heart sinking and stomach knotting up as he had to see Emma go through that. He was waken by her cries, and when he tried to wake her, she went into a frenzy, trying to defend herself. He couldn't imagine what she was dreaming about...

She quieted down. Then suddenly, stopped. He looked down, wondering if she was okay now and she pulled away from him. Quite quickly, he noticed. His eyes locked on hers, and noticed they weren't as vulnerable as they were two seconds ago, but cold again.

She turned away from him, running her fingers through her blonde hair and took a deep breath before standing up, and fixing her shirt.

Sean cleared his throat, and stood up after her, careful of what he said or did.

She finally looked back at him, weary but soft again. "Please don't tell-"

"I won't." he promised.

She didn't want anybody to know about this. Maybe he should tell Spike, or Snake, but right now, it was his only promise to Emma. He was going to start fulfilling those promises again.

Emma shifted in her spot before she avoided his eyes and went to the front door, "Maybe it's time to go." she held it open.

"Emma."

She looked back up at him, wondering why he sounded so serious. He stepped up to the front of her, in the middle of the doorway.

She looked up into his blue eyes that stared down at her, and she remembered how people at school said Sean was scary, or trouble, or mean..because he wasn't. Look into his eyes, and you knew he wasn't.

"Are we good?"

Emma opened her mouth, then closed it. How do you answer that one to the guy who once broke apart your heart?

"Yea."

Sean couldn't believe it. She said they were okay.

She even smiled a little uneasily, "I'm just tired.. and apparently losing my mind.." she shamefully looked back at him to see him not judging her for that.

He inched closer, and Emma tensed. He didn't see it, or notice it, but she felt it and her heart began to pound. He was _too_ close for comfort. She backed up against the door she leaned on. Trapped!

"You aren't some victim, Em."

She got lost in his eyes, wishing he would just stop saying the right things.

"You're a survivor." he was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath against her chin, then her lips. They both looked cravingly at another's mouths, then another. Their chemistry and passion burned through their eyes.

His hard, toned body was almost against hers. His breathing now by her neck as he leaned in, wanting to kiss that old beauty mark that laid on her neck and smell her vanilla scent

Emma sucked in a deep breath, her one hand rising up to set on his bicep, almost squeezing it to feel his muscles. He was so strong, and so protective.

Sean's hands grasped her waist and he sighed heavenly, nuzzeling around her neck and moved in to kiss it. She closed her eyes and leaned on the door as she waited, biting her lip and a soft moan inching to release-

A car door slammed outside, and the two tore apart, Sean leaving one hand on her waist though and their heads turned towards Emma's driveway with a bewildered look upon their faces.

Spike looked up from the car, "Sean, you're here!" she had got out of her car and was opening up the back door for Jack.

Sean turned back to Emma when he felt her move away, and motion for him to step out the door so she could close it.

"Emma-" he was cut off when Spike came up while holding Jacks hand who attempted to crawl up the porch himself.

Emma's eyes wildly looked around and couldn't believe they were just about to do that. Kiss, or something-was that what was going to happen?

Sean took a moment to speak, "Hey Mrs S."

She happily smiled, "You want to stay for dinner? Snakes cookin' tonight."

"He can't."

Sean turned to look at Emma who answered for him, and she just shrugged her left shoulder. He seemed to react stung by that but nodded roughly to Spike.

"I got a lot of homework to do. Exams coming up." he explained

"Next time then." Spike insisted and teased as she walked by, "You're getting so big." she couldn't help but notice the man he was turning into. Quite handsome too.

Sean couldn't help but crack a shy grin, and Emma too bit her lip from giggling, sharing a look with him as Spike went into the house.

Sean joked lightly as he sorely looked around the outside of Emma's house. "Keep forgetting it's been a while since I've been here." you know, other than the other night.

He and Emma use to always hang out together after school.

Emma frowned, "Yeah well, that's what happens when you just vanish from someones life."

Sean shut his eyes and shook his head until he looked down sadly, "I was young and stupid Emma. What more can I say? I was immature, and mad at you, for really no reason. Not _really._ "

Emma eyed him, but for some reason, she believed him..and hell must of frozen over, because she was forgiving him too.

I guess this was part of growing up.

His eyes bore into hers sincerely, "I'm **sorry** about _everything_ I did to you. Everything."

Emma sucked in a breath and nodded. "Ancient history."

He looked at her a bit in disbelief.. until he grinned a little and nodded. So they were good. Friends. Or whatever- he'd take anything .

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Emma admitted, "Probably not. I'll probably just do my exams at home this year. Summers already here and now I'm thinking maybe it's best not to come back to Degrassi until next semester."

Their senior year.

Sean looked a bit taken back and a little unhappy, but this was her choice. He couldn't be greedy with their new 'friendship'. He nodded.

"Can I come by during the summer?" he waited patiently for her answer.

Emma's heart skipped. **Damn him**. "I don't know. . most of my time will probably be spent with my annoying so called therapist.. . that's not a lot of fun." she teased.

He began to walk down the steps. "I'm going to come by." he informed quite simply, tossing that over his shoulder so casually it almost made her laugh.

She rolled her eyes smiling, then watched him walk down her driveway, and out of sight. She then began to worry if this was a good idea..

For either of them. **  
**


	7. Summer and Odd Behavior

**Two and a half MONTHS later... END OF SUMMER (Season 5 now)**

"OH!"

Emma's body laid back on Peter's bed, wearing her summer bikini until Peter had ripped her bottoms off and yanked her breasts out of her top that bounced beautifully each time he pushed into her and he stared hungrily down at her supple body.

Emma's hair was a little longer. She was getting a little older. Summer had been...interesting. To say the least.

"Oh god!" Peter cried again, eyes clenched shut and body shuddering. He pushed himself inside Emma once more and yelled into her ear, "I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come, Em.."

Emma wrinkled her nose in disgust, and tried to get with it, moving her hips with his to ease down his thrusting and make it feel more better rather than like a small dog or something was humping her.

"I'm gonna- oh! Ahh!"

He trembled, and he came. Emma laid there, looking up at the ceiling until he finished. She sighed, and narrowed her eyes to the clock on his dresser as she ignored Peter's coying words. She didn't care if it was good, or that she was beautiful, or supposedly the best he'd ever had.

It was 2 oclock.. One more hour til she had to go meet Sean and Manny at the Dot.

Summer had been kind of like freedom for Emma. A time to act out, behind closed doors of course. She didn't have to worry about going back to school, or seeing anybody she didn't **want** to see. She didn't have to stay locked up inside either. Spike trusted her, as long as she called in to say where she was.

And quite frankly, she tried not to worry about what had happened to her three months ago either. Rick still plagued her nightmares, and of course was still taking a toll on her; but she insisted having sex with some guys didn't mean she was having some throwbacks with coping.

Not until it was over and she felt like crying in the shower all over again.

She had only slept with one other guy than Peter (minus Rick, it didn't count), and it was her neighbor named Chester one month ago; who already moved away (Guess he didn't like Degrassi). And now it was Peter. They weren't dating; in fact, they both meant nothing. Emma and Peter had just met another by the pool this summer and he's been obsessed with getting her into bed since and honestly, Emma didn't mind fucking to take her mind off everything. It wasn't her, she knew, but she could give a rats ass.

Everything else about her, seemed better.. but we know deep down she was still not alright.

"Don't you wanna stay?" Peter asked, feeling a bit shunned when she got up and dressed.

"I got to go." she said. She liked that she stayed arms length with him, even though he pushed for more. She also liked that he didn't go to Degrassi, so he barely knew her.

She planned to keep it that way.

His mouth hung as he watched her just leave, closing the door carelessly behind her.

((*))

Emma walked down the side walk while wearing her black jean summer shorts and a white tank top with her bikini under, her hair blowing just a little bit in the hot wind on her way to the Dot.

You might of heard her mention that she was meeting Sean and Manny at the Dot. Sean kept to his word, and came to visit during the summer quite more than a few times. Emma was busy a lot, with sessions with Mrs Andrews, and doing things on her own, but they made time for another. Sean was kinda busy too anyways with starting work at an auto shop downtown.

He seemed to really love it. It was perfect for him.

And this 'friends' thing, seemed to be working between them rather greatly..

Kinda.

(((((*))))

Inside the Dot, Manny and Sean waited for Emma. Manny had done some growing up too, and she was now a young woman, ready to finish this last year of highschool and become an actress after they graduate

That was her goal.

"It's cold." complained Jay, sitting by their table on a stool by the Dot's counter. He rolled his eyes when they turned to look at him and he snickered, shaking his cold mug of coffee "The damn service around here. I'm _bout'_ to complain about the god awful waiter we have."

Manny couldn't help but laugh, and Spinner came up behind Jay, glaring and taking the mug from him to refill. This summer, it had been about keeping Emma on track mostly, and Emma and Sean becoming friends again, and Manny having to accept it and learn to trust Sean again. Then, Manny and Jay have been starting to hangout quite a lot too.

Sean wasn't sure if there was something between them or somethin'. Alex was gone now, as in broken up with Jay. They just weren't 'working' said Jay.

Now lets talk about Sean. My did he do some growing up. Now 18, but still a year behind due to his grade 7 mishaps. This year when school came back, he'd be finishing this year with Emma too. Not Jay though, only because he dropped out to work in the same auto repair shop that Sean was now working at too.

Sean had been doing nothing but working, working out , and trying to catch time to hang out with Emma this summer. Did I mention working out? His hair had grown out too, in a charming wavy way. He wore his famous white wife beater to show off his summer tanned triceps. His face had grown a little more older, maturer, his eyes more a darker blue with secrets behind them.

Manny even had a hard time looking away from him. Dang.

"There's Em." Manny said, perking up from her seat across from Sean and he turned his head too, locking his eyes on Emma who just got to the door and opened it.

She came in and Jay taunted, "Finally, For god sakes woman, I'm hungry."

Did we mention this summer was also about Jay and Emma coming to terms that they might be friends now too? That and the fact they were forced too, if Jay didn't want Sean to lose it on him, plus , Jay knew he needed Emma's good word if Manny were to ever give him a shot with her.

Yeah, you heard it. Jay Hogart wanted Manny Santos. Bad.

"Sorry," Emma said with a smile and rolled her eyes, sitting by Manny across from Sean. Jay got up and came over, sitting beside Sean. The four of them picked up their menus.

Sean eyed Emma as he glanced up from the menu, eying her and wondering if she had been with that guy today.

Peter.

And it wasn't like Sean knew she was sleeping with him either.. but he was getting the vibes recently. And he didn't like it.

He wasn't blind and noticed how sexy and confident Emma was this summer. But was it an act? He knew her damn well and she had done a complete flip from the girl who was screaming and crying in his arms after a nightmare she had two months ago.

It was good, that she felt confident (if that was really what it was), but it seemed off to Sean.

Every time they went to the mall or a party together, there were always other guys who were looking at her. The old Emma would of ignored it, but this Emma, Sean had a feeling she noticed it now and didn't mind it. Manny didn't even seem to notice that it was weird behavior for Emma; Sean thought she probably just liked the new Emma, who would come to parties now, and even flirt with guys with her.

It made his blood boil though.

He had only met this Peter loser once, when he picked her up the last time these four hung out two weeks ago.

Jay liked to call him Poin Dexter. Manny too felt bad that she pushed Emma to go out with him, but she wanted her to have fun. . until she found out the day Peter came to pick up Emma, that Sean still had feelings for Emma. He was so determined to hide it, and did well by it, but Manny saw it, and she felt stupid she had been ignoring it before. Ofcourse Sean still loved Emma, it was _Sean, and Emma._

Sean would always be ' _that guy'_ in Emma's life. Like Emma was every girls competition in Sean's life.

Anyways, rumor had it, Rick was somebody's bitch now in the hen house. Emma didn't talk about it, but Sean did it his check ups.

How was Ellie you might ask? Let me rewind a bit to last month... when she and Sean broke up.

 _FLASHBACK..._

 _"I missed you all night." Ellie pouted, lying beside Sean and under covers half naked._

 _Sean turned his head from watching tv, "Ellie, we were at the party together tonight." he had to laugh a bit and teased, "Remember? Jay's?"_

 _Ellie rolled her eyes and shuffled a bit closer, and he felt her hand running down his hard stomach, "Yeah but he was totally all over Manny, and of course she brought Emma along and it was just..you.. and her.."_

 _Sean furrowed his eyes at her, and she huffed, sitting up and covered herself with the blanket._

 _"You said you were okay with me and Emma being friends again."_

 _"I am." she lied._

 _"So?.."_

 _Ellie scoffed madly. Why couldn't he see that she WASN'T okay with this BITCH around? "So I just...feel like we haven't had 'us' time!"_

 _She had given him her virginity last month. Honestly, it may of been a way to distract him, probably from Emma, but it didn't seem to work and it was driving Ellie nuts, like actually crazy. I mean the sex was good, but three nights ago, she had cut herself which had been a long time not doing so..and then, she thought about cutting Emma's pretty little wrist earlier tonight too-and honestly, it made her smile._

 _How would Emma feel if someone was trying to take a perfect guy away from her too like Sean? Ellie then pledged that night she'd rather die than be without him. He was everything to her. He was gorgeous, and smart, strong. So strong ._

 _Ellie couldn't pretend any longer. She hated Emma. She wanted her gone._

 _Sean was thrown off when suddenly Ellie was moving over him, dropping her blanket and straddling him, holding his shoulders._

 _"El-"_

 _Her mood swings this summer were kind of worrying him lately. Or maybe it was just because she was on his back for hanging out with Emma, and he didn't want to stop._

 _"Tell me you love me." she pouted, leaning down to his lips, and grinding herself against his covered cock. He wore his boxers, but still groaned. He was a guy. Any time any girl knew where to hit the right spot, any guy would groan . Ellie seemed to be using sex a lot to get what she wanted. He was cluing in on that._

 _"I.." Sean couldn't do it. He didn't want to tell her that._

 _"Tell me." she demanded. Sean suddenly opened his eyes, and shook his head, sitting up and tried to push her off him gently._

 _Her mouth fell and she sat beside him again, without moving the blanket back around her._

 _"cover up." he said quietly, seeing she seemed so hurt by that and just sat there, still naked._

 _"What?" Ellie asked him, and began to tear up, "What did I do?"_

 _"Nothing." he passed her the blanket and she choked on her next words, but finally wrapped it around herself. He sat there, glaring down at the bed and then rubbed his eyes sorely._

 _"What do you want from me, Sean?" her voice cracked_

 _"What?" he turned to look at her, confused._

 _"I gave my.._ _ **everything**_ _to you!"_

 _Sean's mouth hung open. He had never_ _ **asked**_ _for her to give away her virginity. She just,_ _ **really**_ _wanted to one night after he came home from Emma's. He was being faithful, you know, as much as he could when around Emma. He kept his hands off, and wasn't a cheater, but okay, maybe his thoughts weren't pure..but how could Ellie know that?_

 _"Ellie, you can't use that against me._ _ **You**_ _wanted it. You sure as hell wanted it tonight, just like last night, and the other day in the car!" in fact, Sean was getting exhausted by Ellie, and he had dated freakin Amy before! When did a guy ever need to complain about getting laid so much? How about when his girl friend was acting_ _ **crazy.**_

 _He couldn't do it anymore!_

 _They sat in silence as she continued to stare at him with tear filled eyes and he tried to avoid them. "I think we need some space." he said quietly, afraid of her reaction._

 _He hated to say it, even if he wanted it, because he knew Ellie didn't handle depression well. But he couldn't do this anymore, Emma has been even a stronger girl than Ellie has been and not that it was a contest, but Emma had more to cry about but she hid it much better than Ellie did._

 _Ellie had some emotional problems Sean couldn't deal with. Or even help. Even if he tried._

 _Ellie was acting like a ticking time bomb. He didn't want to be here when it set off._

 _"Are you breaking up with me?" her voice cracked._

 _He got up, and slipped his jeans on. He turned his back from her for a moment before he faced her and nodded, giving her a look as if he knew this sucked too._

 _"Yea."_

 _"B-but, don't you love me?"_

 _Then came the words that haunted her every day, and set the bomb_ _ **off.**_ _"No El, I'm sorry, but I don't.."_

 _END OF FLASHBACK_

Ellie had been out of his apartment that very same night. She's not been around much this summer, and he hadn't heard from her since and honestly, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. He felt like their relationship had been doomed for a while, and it was good to be on his own again. He was moving on with life. Even got new furniture for his apartment, and Emma helped him paint the ol' rusty walls.

Sean had focused on working, and getting ready to go back to school. Ellie had already graduated, so he didn't have to worry about seeing her next year.

Maybe, Emma would be ready by then for him to admit his feelings he still had for her. You know, the small secret he had of still being hopelessly _in love_ with her.

The Dot door opened, and speaking of the devil-

"Shit." Jay even said, nudging Sean's arm and nodding toward the door. Manny and Emma looked too, and even Emma did a double take.

Ellie.

What the hell were the odds?

Not only did she see them too, she even passed a small smile and just headed towards the counter with a calm and collected look, like nothing even bothered her. She stopped, and looked up at the Dot's menu on the wall before she ordered.

Emma couldn't help but tilt her head and try not to examine Ellie; but she couldn't help but see it. Hell, Emma acted like she was alright too. Ellie wasn't fooling her.

Emma turned and snuck a glance at Sean, wondering if he was at all thrown off. She couldn't lie and say she wasn't happy that he was trying to avoid any eye contact with Ellie, and even kept his head down at his menu.

"She seems to be _just fine_." Manny joked under her breath but even noticed Ellie's new look. Her red hair was now cut into a long bob, wearing her new college clothes Manny assumed, heels and for once, not all black clothes.

Jay too couldn't even help but notice the leather black pencil skirt and green tank top that Ellie tucked in and it showed off her curves and chest. He raised an eyebrow to Sean, before he groaned when Manny kicked his leg under the table.

"Woops, sorry. It slipped." Manny lied with a tightened smile, jealousy deep in her veins- she hated to admit it. She was falling for Hogart too.

Jay faked an understanding nod and plastered a fake grin towards her, before scoffing and rubbing his leg. Did Manny think Ellie had anything on her? Cause hell no. Jay just, couldn't help but notice.

Manny was a fox though. Nobody seemed more beautiful than her to Jay.

When Ellie turned back, a coffee in her hand, she paused and then came up slowly to the table with an unsure smile."Hey." she greeted all of them, but eyes flicking more towards Sean

They all muttered hey, Emma just weakly smiled, and looked towards Sean. Sean looked up and doubled back when Ellie's eyes were glued right on him.

"How are you?" she asked.

He cleared his throat, looking around the table before sitting up and tried to be mature. "Good. You?"

"Good." she nodded. She shrugged her shoulder while rolling her eyes smiling, "Actually, good until a week ago. I found out I might have to return to Degrassi for a few more classes I need for what I want to do in my future at university."

There was looks around the table; even Emma and Sean shared an odd look.

Coming back? To Degrassi?

"So I thought we should make peace." she jokingly held her hand up with her two fingers symbolizing the peace sign.

Sean just roughly nodded, but still couldn't wrap his head around this. Emma too had to wonder just what classes Ellie didn't have for college? Ellie always wanted to be a writer, and she took every single English course and media class, let alone extra activities.

Something seemed off.

"Anyways, good seeing you guys." she told them, and flashed one more smile before leaving.

Sean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and then Jay had to say it. "Your ex has some some issues there I think, pal." he had to ask though, "She got a little hot though right?"

"Barely." snickered Manny, on Emma's side, but slightly her own too and taunted Jay, "Just because she puts on better clothes and a pair of heels doesn't make her a different person."

Jay had to agree, "Oh, I never said she still wasn't a nut job Dimples." he passed over a wink, and Manny tried not to blush as she rolled her eyes.

"Yea.." drifted Sean, having to agree with that, staring oddly the way Ellie went and missed Emma's unsure glance at him.

Their drinks came, and Emma shifted in her seat, and played with the straw in her water with a complicated look across her face. She was hoping deep down, Sean wasn't regretting the break up with Ellie. He was so much better without Ellie, and that wasn't even Emma just being jealous. He had started working, and cleaning his life up, and had been honestly more happy the last month than he'd been in a long time.

They had another to thank for that.

"Well," Manny said and raised her glass to take a sip as she smirked against it, "Degrassi is going to be very interesting this year."

They all smiled and wondered too what it was going to be like.

...none of them probably knew the hell they were about to suffer through.

 **AUTHOR NOTE: DUN DUN DUNNNN! It's now starting. I'm going to make Ellie go a little 'swim fan' if you guys have ever seen that movie. And I know, I know, we hate Peter. Don't worry, he means nothing and won't be in the story for long! Emma loves Sean, and Sean needs to tell Emma he loves her! Leave some reviews please and thankyou!**


	8. Emma's Deepest Secrets And Fears

It was just two days before school was back in session. Mom and Snake were out, so Emma was home alone this really hot day with Sean, and she walked to the fridge, pulling it open around noon.

"Ice tea or lemonade?"

Sean followed her into the kitchen, but leaned his shoulder on the frame of the entrance. His eyes scanned down her body as she leaned forward by the fridge, waiting for his answer. She was wearing this cute little yellow summer dress. Her skin was golden to him; probably from the many pool hangouts she's had with Manny this summer.

Her hair tossed to one side, a little curly from the humidity and he too was a bit hot from the heat.

He wore his wife beater with his dark blue pants from work, that were actually cover alls, but he tied the sleeves around his waist. It was so hot, he had to push his hair back every time he felt the summer heat getting to him; like right now. Or maybe that was Emma.

"Both." he answered finally.

She gave him a look but grabbed both, "That's wierd." she teased.

" _You're wierd."_ he commented back and she smiled, laying the drinks on the table and then went to get glasses.

Sean went to the table too and joked, "I thought Snake would be here, going through his exciting list of things to do before school is back."

"It's right here." Emma teased back, tapping a calendar on the wall by her before she went back over to the table and they shared a small laugh.

Sean mixed his drink of half ice tea, half lemonade, as Emma sat down with her glass of just lemonade. He took the chair down next to her and she watched his chug it back. She couldn't help but tilt her head and bring something up that has been on the back of her mind all week.

"So Ellie.."

Sean looked up, simply unbothered by the reminder but confused. "Yea?" What about her?

"Wierd, that's she's coming back to Degrassi."

Sean had to agree, "Is kind of wierd." he cornered his eyes at Emma and raised an eyebrow, "Why? It bother you?"

His eyes were suggesting and Emma rolled her eyes smiling and shook her head, "No, I was just wondering if it bugged you."

He hid his smirk and gave a shrug, "I'm fine."

Emma tried to blush as he kept his firm eyes on her. She wasn't naive anymore, she was a young woman, knew when a guy wanted her, but Sean and her, they were different. She didn't know how to act to it even though they had dated a long time ago. But they were 'friends' now, or whatever the hell they were.

Sean seemed to look away, trying not to come on to strong and changed the subject, "Whats with Jay and Manny?"

Emma smiled and laughed, "I don't know," she admitted, "Something is definitely up with that."

" _ **Definitely**_ something _up_ with _that."_ he mocked her and teased her as she shoved his shoulder and got up and he chuckled.

They went to the living room, and sat on the couch. "Sometimes I swear the air conditioner doesn't even work." Emma grumbled, sitting on one side with Sean on the other.

"My place got a new one," Sean said happily, "Feels like an igloo."

"Why didn't we go there then?" Emma pouted.

He taunted, "Cause last time you came over, you said it smelt like beer and cheese."

She wrinkled her nose, "It did, and if I remember right, Spinner and Jay _were_ passed out on the couch..with beer and cheese."

"Yea..." sighed Sean, overthinking that, "I need to tell them to stop using my place as their hangout."

Emma giggled and he smirked, looking back over at her. That's when they were cut off by Emma's phone dinging with a text.

Sean tried hard not to gaze so hard at it, but the way she picked it up and held it a little away from him, he had to ask.

"Let me guess." he rolled his eyes. "Poin Dexter?"

Emma read the text from Peter and put her phone down, giving Sean a look. He seemed to like Jay's little nickname for Peter. She knew why Jay didn't like him, but not Sean. I mean, Peter was a clean cut rich boy and that's why Jay didn't like him, that and the secret fact that he knew Emma should be with Sean. Suddenly he was team SEMMA.

As for Sean though, Emma didn't know why he hated Peter, because Sean didn't judge people for their wealth or poor, unless they showed signs of being an asshole, then Sean didn't like them.. such as Jimmy Brookes. But Peter? Sean hadn't even really met Peter.

Her and Sean locked eyes as they gazed at another, and she tried to muster some words but couldn't. Sean's eyes were giving off an emotion she wasn't sure if she could handle yet- A little bit of jealousy, a little bit of betrayal, and hidden hurt.

Honestly, it seemed like Sean and Emma were already dating to some people, minus the kissing or any other intimate parts about a relationship. The two were always together, always smiling at another, talking about another, and flirting constantly.

They weren't friends and they'd never really be friends. Even Ellie knew that.

"It's not like I'm seeing him anymore." Emma tried to shrug it off.

Sean looked away and just itched the back of his neck and muttered, "Whatever." he looked back at her, seeing her still giving him a look. "Not like I care." he bittered and looked away, clenching his jaw.

He couldn't stand the mentions of this guy. It shook him up, crawled under his skin, and he hated to look at Emma and think about another guy touching her. Kissing her. Consoling her through another nightmare.

Emma furrowed at him, to then snicker and shake her head, looking away. _Fine then. Jerk._

She knew she was being a little silly, being so hot and cold, but the reason was easy to see. Being with Sean again, it scared her, no matter how much she wanted it. She was scared of getting hurt again, and God knows how hurt she had been this year. She wanted to be with Sean, she did.. but Sean was the only one who knew her secrets, her darkest fears, and everything else about her. She couldn't lose him again, he meant everything to her. She couldn't of gotten this far without him. But what if they dated and he ended up hating her again? She knew that was silly to think, that they were much older now than the first time around, but it was still something she feared.

She had all these _fears,_ and she couldn't deal with them right. It was half the reason she didn't feel like the old Emma Nelson anymore.. she felt like she was still suffering from everything and in this hole she couldn't crawl out from..until Sean was around. He made her . .better.. happier.

She meant what she said about Peter. She told him they were done, and that summer was fun but it was just that, a summer fling. Since then, she ignored his texts. She felt the need sometimes though, the need for the touch of another person. Was that horrible? Or slutty? She'd ask Doctor Andrews about it, but it was too personal.

Why did she feel like sex was the only thing that took her mind off her deepest fears? When that's what Rick did forcibly to her months ago?

"Emma?"

Emma snapped out of it, to see Sean now looking at her on the other end of the couch softly and curiously. "Hm?"

"You zoned out." he said. His eyebrows furrowed.

"..Just thinking about going back to school." Emma lied, and forced a smile, to then frown slowly when he didn't smile back.

See? He knew her too well. Knew everything about her, and knew when she lied to cover up the damage that was still inside her from you know who.

"School should be fun." sighed Sean, going along with it now and then they actually both thought about it, and had to admit..they weren't sure what school was going to be like at all.

They had a wierd feeling deep down in their stomachs.

((((((((((((*************)))))))))))))))

School was back, and the weather was warm and sunny, and not so humid for once. The front of Degrassi was crowded with students, hugging another or getting to know another if they were freshman. It was still early though, so not **everyone** was there. On the side of the school, Jay parked his orange civic. Him and Manny sat quietly in his car as he glanced at her, and back at the school, tilting his head and seeing all the dorks there early for classes.

Manny sat rather quietly for being Manny. She wore her Degrassi blue cheerleading uniform and looked rather hot in it, if you asked Jay. It was actually a shame he didn't go to Degrassi anymore. He had a feeling he'd miss her. But, they'd hangout after school. He gazed longing at her and saw a quizzing look on her face as she stared at his glove department (Which he knew couldn't be THAT exciting).

"Have a good day at school, _hun."_ Jay teased Manny, snapping her out of it and sounding like her mom. He received a sassy glare, and then he chuckled.

"Thanks for the ride." she then said, and grabbed her bag to go. His mouth parted when she mumbled goodbye and went to leave.

It took a moment for him to speak. "Hey."

She turned back before opening the door, but had grabbed her books. When she looked back, he leaned over, and he grabbed the back of her head as he captured her lips with his.

She moaned a little, kissing him back, and whimpering just a bit. He sighed between the kiss, his heart thumping wildly and kissed her deeper. She turned back towards him, dropping her books and set her hands on his shoulders. She squeeled a bit as his arms swept around her and pulled her over to sit on his lap.

She moaned again and gasped, straddling him and feeling his hardness under his jeans for her. He was just as hard last night.

"Jay," she whimpered, pulling away from the heated kiss and his sexy full lips.

His hands grasped her hips and helped her grind against him and both shuddered.

"I gotta go." she squeeked, but didn't get off him. They both looked at another, not wanting this to be over.

She had come over last night, just to hang out, and they had ended up finally making out during the movie they weren't even watching together in his apartment. It led to fooling around and fucking anothers brains out.

Jay was now hooked, and wanted to make her his

"Don't go." he teased and she laughed a bit, finally sighing and running a hand through her hair.

"I have to." she frowned, "And I should probably call my Dad for not coming home last night." she mumbled under her breath, "He thinks Im as big of a slut as it already is."

Jay knew different. Jay knew the reputation this place gave to people that weren't true. She may be sexy, and confident, but that didn't make her a slut. To him, it made her beautiful. He knew a lot about her now, like how Craig was the only guy she hooked up with. Girls just hated her because she did it behind Ashley Kerwins back but that was years ago.

Move on people.

She said her and Spinner had tried, but he um- came, a little too soon. But Spinner still insisted it was sex. Jay couldn't help but laugh behind his hand at that one, sharing the laugh with Manny. She didn't know _what_ she was thinking when she dated Spinner, but being with Jay now- God, it felt really right.

He felt like the one.

"Do you think Em and Sean know?" Manny asked him.

He caressed her hair as he answered, "They're too wrapped up in their own shit to notice."

She snickered and nodded. Ain't that the truth.

"Emma needs to give him another chance." Jay confirmed.

Manny shot back at him, "Well how would _**you**_ feel if Sean had broken your heart more than once before?"

"Confused." admitted Jay to then cheekily say, "Because I'm not in love with Sean."

"Fooled me." Manny taunted and received a look from Jay that made her laugh and received agonizing tickles at her side.

"Is that so?!"

"Jay stop! Please!"

"Singing a different tune now." he huskily teased, remembering how she begged him _not to stop_ last night.

She slapped his chest, "You're a jerk." and she loved him.

When the first bell rang, Jay and Manny had gotten out of the car, and he held her hand as she waved goodbye and went ahead to class just as Alex was coming up.

Him and Alex were cool. In fact, he heard Alex was having her own fun with a girl or two this summer.

"Hey" Alex greeted him, but checked Manny out as she passed.

See?

"Hey." he greeted back. He leaned on his car and watched Manny until out of site.

Alex stopped in front of him, "You hittin' that?" she joked, but was a little thrown off and never thought she'd see the day

Manny Santos with **Jay Hogart.**

"Sure am." he smirked proudly, and then frowned, looking back where Manny disappeared. Alex noticed the sufferable look.

He missed her already.

"You really like her." she said, impressed

He nodded and sighed. **  
**


	9. If She Can't Have Him, Nobody Will

Emma actually felt ready, like good and ready to go back to school. Excited even!

It's another hot, sunny day. Manny said she'd meet her at school, which was fine even though every year they usually walked there together, but Sean was going to pick her up and drive her to school.

He was so damn proud of his new toy car. Such a little mechanic he was, and sexy as sin when he got pulled up into her driveway, one hand on the wheel and his arm/bicep hanging out his rolled down window. His black sunglasses were on and he wore a new shirt, a V neck light grey shirt that fitted around his arms perfectly, and showed a bit of his muscular chest too.

When she climbed into his car, he couldn't help but notice her tight little skirt either, and he forced himself to look away, a small groan at the back of his throat that luckily she didn't hear due to the radio. Damn her. Didn't she know those legs of hers were his weakness? Let alone that gorgeous little smile she sent when she greeted him sweetly.

He pulled out of the driveway, grinning that grin she knew so well and she eyed him weirdly, but amusingly.

"What?" she asked.

He looks over at her. Their eyes meet with his shades now on his shirt, and once again she sees that devilish gleam in his eyes. So playful and a look he only shared with her.

"You're actually excited for first day back at school." he mocked her.

Emma tried to roll her eyes, like she wasn't. "No I'm not."

He smiled when she did. "Yea. You are."

"shut up," she laughed then admitted bashfully, " _ **Maybe**_ I am.."

And maybe that reminded her of the old Emma, and she smiled, feeling a little more like herself with him. They glanced at another once more before he pulled into Degrassi and Emma blushed, looking away and sucked in a tiny shakey breath.

"Awesome," Sean said, while walking by Emma's side as they squished through the hall and read off the sheet in his hand, "Same locker as last year."

Emma smiled, glancing at him. "Me too," Emma pauses before they go to break away, "See you at lunch or something?"

Sean broke away from looking around Degrassi. It'd been a while and he couldn't believe this was his last year; and with Emma by his side again, he was sure it'd be great. It was like a wonderful second chance.

"Yea." he nodded, and watched her nod slightly back before smiling a little and leaving. He sucked in a deep breath, and went to his locker. As he put in his old combination, and opened the locker door, he shoved his bag inside, and didn't notice the figure that walked past him.

"hey."

Sean turned his head, not sure if that person was talking to him until he saw Ellie a few lockers down and putting in her own combination.

He paused, and furrowed his eyebrows together, confused. Last year, Ellie's locker was way across the school.

"Hey.." he was stumped for a moment.

She just went on with trying to open her locker, and he too went back to grabbing which books he needed. He had to be real though, at least she wasn't being a horrible ex or not over it. She seemed to just want to be civil or something.

He heard her scoff and drop the heavy lock, having trouble opening it. "Uh.." she drifted, and he glanced over, shutting his own locker and she snickered a bit, awkwardly looking around but he had to admit there was nobody else around she knew to help.

"Here." he walked over, and helped her. "What's your code?"

"08. 21. 38."

Sean unlocked it easily, and glanced down at it for a long moment before blinking and taking it out, handing it to her and opened the door

"wow, worked for you so easily." she joked, and stepped in, doing her business.

He glanced back at the locker, at her again, and then slowly turned around to go to class.

That was odd.

"Oh Sean?"

The bell rang, and the hallway seemed to be emptying quick. He sighed, not wanting to walk back to her but did, and gave a look like he sincerely wondered what she needed.

She looked sincere also as she leaned on her closed locker, with her books in hand. "I'm really happy you're back with Emma."

Sean's mouth opened, but he couldn't get the chance to speak.

"You look really happy." she added.

He looked down, and cleared his throat, itching the side of his neck, "Yea, we aren't..uh- but thanks. But we're not."

Ellie hid her smirk and washed it away when he looked up and gave him a shocked expression with a wince, "Ooh I'm sorry. Just seemed..."

He nodded, "It's .. complicated." And he didn't plan on explaining it to her.

"Is she doing better? With the whole... you know. Rick thing."

He didn't really want to answer that, but tried to be 'nice'. "Yea. She's doing good."

"I'm sure you're a lot of help." Ellie smiled softly, "I remember how good you are that way."

Sean bit his tongue, not wanting to say anything he'd regret, and his eyes slowly ripped away from hers the longer she stared right at him. Thankfully, Ashley Kerwin and Jimmy Brookes walked up behind Ellie.

"El, come on, gotta get to class." Ashley said. Ellie merely glanced back but turned her attention fully back on Sean. Sean noticed them all staring at him, even Jimmy. He resisted rolling his eyes. This was awkward.

"Well. See yeah." Ellie left with that, with Sean narrowing his eyes to watch her leave.

When Sean decided he should go too, he walked towards his class to then pause at a sign posted up near the end of the Hallway. Basketball sign ups. He frowned, and kept walking.

Meanwhile, Manny leaned on Emma's locker who always got paired up right beside her ."Come on," she teased, "We're going to be late."

The halls were clearing up, but still some students were rushing to get a few more things too. Emma scoffed, "I'm sorry," she said antsy like, digging through her locker, "I can't find my old notebook."

Manny gasped horrifyingly and asked playfully, "With all your little side study notes and our personal notes we hid from Armstrong?" she stomped her foot jokingly, "People are going to find out I like Sully!"

Manny dated Sully like years ago, that's how old that book was, but it was still cute how Emma held onto it and they updated it every year. How could Emma lose it though? It was so thick, and shiney with glitter all on the front.

Emma smiled back and rolled her eyes, "fine." she shut her locker, "Not a big deal."

Manny suddenly _really_ gasped, grabbing Emma and turned her to face the other side of the hallway, "Oh my god, Em. It's him."

Emma yelped from the quick pull and laughed a bit before she looked to where Manny pointed and oh-my god.

Shit.

Peter Stone was standing at his locker across the hall, grabbing his binder before closing his locker to lock up.

There was a few cheerleaders in the middle of the hallway, giggling and whispering while they pointed at the cute 'new guy'. Emma meanwhile tilted her head and scrunched her face up, wondering what she saw in him before. He was so... blonde, and no muscles.. no mysterious or hot dangerous and exciting vibe about him - and too pretty boy- oh my god, she's comparing him to Sean right now.

"I'm doomed." Emma said out loud and then rolled her eyes, turning away.

"You don't care?" Manny whispered back, trying not to get his attention and then hissed when he turned, and noticed Emma. "Em, he saw you."

Emma cursed silently and then more under her breath when she heard him call her name, "Emma?.."

He walked over, squishing through the group of girls who actually WANTED his attention.

"Emma, you go here?"

She turned, plastering on a smile, "Yea. I told you that..." she drifted, sure she did? But maybe she was wrong. Her and Peters 'fling' was about a lot of talking.

He seemed to be really happy to see her, and Manny smirked between them, seeing Emma looking like she wanted to run the other way screaming-but she stayed as polite as possible.

Peter explained to them, glancing at Manny, "Yea I use to go to Lakehurst. I decided to come here instead. My mom is Mrs H."

Manny couldn't even keep her snicker down, "Thats rich."

Emma raised an eyebrow at her as Peter eyed her wierdly. Manny shut her eyes and mentally kicked herself; she was hanging out with Jay too much.

"Sorry."

"No worries.." chuckled Peter, but still had an unsure look on his face and felt a bit embarrassed. He tried to keep his cool as he smirked back to Emma, trying to be sly, "Maybe we can hangout soon again?"

That was a big no, thought Emma, but replied with, "Maybe." the late bell rang now, "Shit." she looked to Manny, eyes wide and back to Peter, waving carelessly, "Hope you like it here."

With that, she was gone in a flash.

(((((*****))))

The first class on the first day was the same as any other. The teacher introduced himself, or welcomed back the class to another year. They talked a little about work, and then they went to work in pairs- which really meant everyone formed in groups and just talked about their summer or rounded up the new hot gossip of Degrassi.

Meanwhile, Emma and Manny sat with Darcy, Emma out of it and glancing up at the front as Darcy and Manny went on and on about cheerleading try outs after school for the newbies. Manny was captain this year.

As their voices drowned out, Emma's eyes bleakly stared at the front desk to the very right side of the classroom, with no student sitting in it. It was probably because nobody wanted to sit there. Emma knew just who use to own that seat, keeping to himself, studying his notes, and trying to ignore the spitballs and remarks from people who disliked him

Rick-

"Emma!" the blonde jumped in her seat and whipped her head around to Manny and Darcy. Darcy was giving Emma a look like she was some wierdo for jumping so high.

Deep down, Emma didn't like Darcy that very much. She tried not to glare and muttered, "What?"

Darcy laughed a bit, glancing at Manny and hoping to share a silent look like they agreed Emma was being wierd.. but Manny just looked concerned and worried.

"Chill, we were just trying to ask you what you thought of the new girl, Mia."

"She might make the team this year." Manny explained to Emma more kingly.

"Haven't met her." Emma said, and drifted back down to her notes, wanting to be in her own little world again and left alone.

((((((*****))))))

In the school cafeteria, Ellie walked to a table with no one in the room but an odd freshman couple in the corner.

She had the room to herself, and sat down with her books, sliding a chair out for herself that let out a loud shriek that she didn't seem to mind and ignored the glances of the freshman.

She sat down, and slid her binder up and in front of her closley. After a moment of staring at it, she opened it, and leaned forward to view it. Her eyes seemed curious yet bitter, but took her time as she opened something up that was hidden in that binder.

A big, shiney notebook with glitter on the cover. Emma's old notebook.

Ellie looked around before tilting her head at it and finally flipped it open, scanning slowly through it.

She saw old study notes of Emma's. The girl was smart, she'd give her that. She saw old personal fun notes that two friends probably passed another through class- no doubt it was probably Manny or that geek Liberty.

The more Ellie went through the notebook, she started seeing stickers, and small pictures from photo booths glued on some pages.

There was one of Emma and Manny when just in grade 7, and then one in 8. Under that picture, there was a bunch of scribbles of Manny + Craig = forever over and over. . probably done from Manny.

Ellie snickered and turned the page. ' _That didn't last long'_ she thought to herself; having seen Manny Santos basically fucking Jay Hogart in his car this morning. It was disgusting she had to _see_ that, as if seeing Sean with _Emma_ wasn't bad enough.

Ellie knew Sean would come to his senses though. **Soon.** She just had to give him that _push_ , and he would be hers again. And if it had to come to it, Emma may need a little **push** too. . out of their lives for good.

Ellie scanned through more pages, going passed Emma's Peace symbols and bored doodles or flyers about the environment, and then stopped on one page that she abruptly stopped on.

There was a Polaroid picture glued to one page, which was just god awful and must of been their first date or something. It was Sean and Emma. Sean looked 13, sporting a _jean_ jacket but a big dimpled smile. Emma looked even younger, and slightly embarrassed in the photo. They stood by the front door of someones house. It was most definitely a first date phone, probably taken from a parent.

Ellie sneered and turned the page, for her heart to stop and her eyes glow violently.

Now was another picture of Emma and Sean. Must of been just before they broke up before he met Ellie, because he was sporting the old bandanna. He looked good. He always did. And he was looking at Emma with a side smirk as they looked to be in a park. Emma was smiling down at the ground with a blush and Ellie felt her insides knotting up.

They even _looked_ in love then.

 _'It's a lie. Sean loves you, and she's just a glitch.'_ Ellie thought to herself, ' _We will not let her steal him away from us..'_

As Ellie turned the pages, wanting to get away from this, she madly began to flip through it harder, seeing little notes from Sean to Emma, and scribbles on Emma's other study notes with Sean's name in hearts.

Finally it stopped.

And it was just study notes.

The notes stuck to one color of pen, and there was no longer even notes from Manny or fun little scribbles.

No more pictures either.

Must of been the time she and Sean broke up. It was odd, how even Ellie could see that this was probably why everything went from happy to blank.

Ellie sat silently for a moment, just staring down at the book. The bell rang and she jumped and cursed, shutting her eyes.

' _If I can't have Sean; neither can she.'_ with that thought, Ellie got up, grabbed her binder and Emma's note book- and took off. **  
**


	10. Back To Square One

It was now the second day back to school, and so far, not **so** horrible. Emma only caught people looking at her when they thought she wasn't looking, and quickly walked away when she did. At least people seemed more afraid of her now then thinking she was some piece of fragile glass. Didn't help that she hung out with the bad boy of Degrassi again either, so people watched what they said and made sure they didn't stare to long.

Luckily, Liberty and Jt were taking a lot of the spotlight over the news of Liberty being pregnant. The whole school was talking about it.

It was a shocker.

"Sean?"

Sean snapped out of it and looked up at Emma in at The Dot. They were getting breakfast before school started. He was looking down in his binder for Emma to pull him out of staring at something.

"What are you doin?" she teased.

He shrugged innocently, "Homework."

Emma reached her hand over to the binder he had infront of him and grabbed a sheet of paper on top to look at what he's been staring at for 10 minutes now. It was a Degrassi form that needed his signature. Sean had yet to fill out his information but apparently he was wanted back on the Degrassi basketball team and she hadn't even known he tried out for it!

He quit years ago. He didn't want the rivalry between he and Jimmy. There was enough tension between them already. Everyone in Degrassi knew Sean was the better player though, which said a lot since Jimmy has been the 'star' since he quit. Now Sean was ready to get back into it. Which amazed Emma! She knew he loved to play but he and jocks never saw eye to eye. Maybe now though they were all grown up and could be an actual team with no rivalry.

Emma actually was baffled and looked back up to see him sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "Sean this is .. awesome."

"Yea?" he asked, unsure.

She smiled and asked sweetly, "Whens the first game?"

He tried to hide his grin but he couldn't. "Practice first. I'm a little rusty but Armstrong still said I had it. I start on forward next week."

Sean's grin grew to Emma being so proud and happy for him. Now, if only he could find something that'd make her that happy herself..

((*))

Later that day at school, Emma went down the hall alone. She was late for her next class and told Sean she'd meet him in there and save him a seat but oddly this time, she was the tardy student!

"Sorry," Emma said, squishing past two girls and bumping into one.

She scooted around them, and looked back when she felt their eyes still on her. She could tell they weren't mad about her walking into them though, nope, they looked to be whispering something and Emma knew just what about..

" _That's_ the girl" whispered one to the other.

"The one Rick-"

"Yeah. Shh."

Emma rolled her eyes and quickened her pace. ' _Yup, I'm the one and only sad handy work of Rick Murray. Thanks for the reminder.'_ Emma thought bitterly

Wanting to get out of there now, Emma turned the corner as fast as she could to slam into somebody and gasped as her books fell.

"oh, shit.." the other female voice cursed, and bent down with a flustered Emma.

Emma cringed and apologized, "Sorry." She grabbed her books in a hurry and saw the other girl trying to help. "It's okay. I got it."

"Emma, it's fine."

Emma looked up, and abruptly stopped. Ellie looked back at her, a light smile on her face and picking up the last of her books while they slowly stood up together.

Woah, Ellie called her by her name. And wasn't looking like she wanted to kill her. It was a nice civil moment for once.

"Here." Ellie passed her books back and with that, gave a friendly nod and left.

(((((*****))))

Emma finally got to immersion class, her class run by Snake, with Sean in it, and Manny too! This day was looking up. She smiled before she entered to stop in her tracks when someone was just coming out of the door and they stopped, frozen in front of another.

"Toby." Emma said breathlessly.

The bell rang for class to be in session.

Toby looked wide eyed back at her. He didn't look well either. Maybe possibly even sick or something. He seemed pale. Emma swallowed hard and looked away from him, shutting her eyes for a moment and tried to shut out the flashbacks from court months back, when Toby testified against Rick.

 _ **Flashback:**_

 _ **Toby sat in a suit, in front of the court room with the jury on the side. The judge who sat by him listened up close to his story, and even seemed to pitied Toby for what he had witnessed. Toby looked like tears were about to burst out of his eyes.**_

 _ **Rick wasn't in the room, he couldn't be when Emma was in it. Emma sat by her lawyer and mother, with her cheekbone still bruised, lip still a little split and scarred from her attack. She dressed as nicely as she could for court; black skirt, black blouse, hair left naturally down, no make up. Her eyes were black and numb as she listened by could barely even look at Toby as he tried to choke out what he saw.**_

 _ **"Rick came to my door, covered in blood. He smiled, like he was over just to hang out. . and he asked if he could use the bathroom. He acted like the blood wasn't there, he had completely lost his mind."**_

 _ **END OF FLASHBACK.**_

"Emma?" Emma snapped back from Toby's touch, a terror look in her eyes and the hurt flashed over his.

They use to be such good friends... but around another now, it was hard. She hadn't seen him since the trial.

"I'm sorry." he said.

Emma weakily smiled and shook her head, "For what?" she tried to change the subject, but Toby saw her walls crumbling down. "You have this class? You weren't here yesterday."

"I..wasn't sure if I was going to come back." He eyed her harder and then looked down, "Emma, I wanted to talk to you for a really long time."

"really Toby, it's ok." Emma began to feel hot, and it was getting hard to breath. She looked around, seeing students coming by and squished out of the way for some who entered.

Toby still wouldn't leave her be, reaching out to her and holding her to the side of the door, "No it's not. I haven't seen you since the Trial-"

"Toby." Emma begged, pulling her arm back a little from out of his hold.

"What Rick did to you-"

Emma cut Toby off as she finally yanked her arm back rather roughly, and someone stopped behind Emma, his dark eyes on Toby.

"What's going on?"

Toby's mouth hung, his two hands lifting a little in defense and glanced slowly from Emma, to Sean. He had no idea touching Emma would make her feel so...frightened.

Sean didn't look like he was to be fucked with at the moment; but Toby truly didn't have any bad intentions, he just..wanted to talk. His Doctor had explained that talking really helped and it sort of did. Emma was always the only person he still had left to talk to though.

She seemed like she wasn't recovering from the whole thing. Not at all.

Toby wondered if Sean saw that?

He finally found his voice. "I was just saying Hi."

Sean angrily shot back, "Well you don't need to grab her."

Emma opened her mouth to stop this, but Snake came to the rescue.

"Guys?" Snake interrupted, coming over to the door, eyes tensely on Sean and in between he and Toby. Sean looked ready to hit him. As much as Snake respected Sean for always being so protective of Emma, sometimes he got _too_ protective.

Love drove you wild like that.

"Class has started."

Embarrassed, Emma went in first, leaving behind two guys who finally felt like jerks and cringed, glancing at another before going back into class.

(((*)))

At the end of the day, Sean walked out of Degrassi, head turning left to right as he jogged down the school steps and to the orange civic that parked by the front for Manny.

Jay leaned on the door and greeted, "Sup."

Behind Sean, Manny ran up and around him, getting to Jay first and wrapping her arms around him, jumping up for a kiss.

Sean sighed and lifted his eyebrows, looking around and muttered. "I'm never going to get use to this."

Jay and Manny tore apart, her smiling and Jay smirking, "Gonna have to bro."

"He's committed to me." Manny filled in, giving Jay a warnful look that he better be. His smirk turned to a grin.

Sean got to the point, "You guys seen Emma? I didn't see her in our last class together."

Jay shrugged his shoulders. How the hell was he to know? He didn't even go here anymore. "Probably in some after school environmental, weird shit, meeting."

Manny frowned deeply, "Actually, she hasn't signed up for any stuff like that yet." which was highly odd.

Sean frowned now too, looking back at Degrassi and thought she was probably still in there. Emma had been acting weirder than usual, which wasn't good. Sean feared that the Toby thing had set some things off for her.

((*))

Snake looked up, hearing someone at his classroom door after school hours.

"Sean." he greeted, and leaned back from marking papers on his desk and joked, "Quizes already! Can you believe it?"

Sean smirked and joked, "You're probably loving it."

Snake chuckled and nodded, then eyed Sean up and down, knowing something was bugging him. "What do you need?"

Sean parted his mouth, and second guessed the question he was about to ask Emma's step father...but it needed to be said.

"Have you seen Em? She wasn't in last period.."

Snake paused, and Sean thought he would say something like Emma skipping wasn't usual, but then he seemed to _**brush**_ it off. Sean was shocked at that.

"She does that." sighed Snake, with an unfortunate look across his face and distant look in his eye. He then looked back up at Sean and frowned with also a sad smile.

He could tell Sean still cared for Emma, and that the two were all grown up now, and dealing with things they were too young to understand before. He could feel the connection between them growing, as if their natural chemistry from before wasn't enough and the heat between the two was getting steamy. Maybe _too steamy_ for Snake (but that was a fathers usual scared thoughts for a daughter around a guy like Sean. But Snake knew Sean well)

This is why Snake liked Sean.. He trusted him. Not only was he the misunderstood bad boy, but Snake knew he loved his daughter.

He deserved the truth with how much he had helped Emma through this hell of a time.

"She's been a little off track lately." Snake admitted, "She was doing _**really**_ good for a while, and then she just...doubled back." Snake shook his head sadly, "It's like she works so hard to move on, and get stronger, and then BAM, something reminds her of.. _everything_ , a-and she can't handle it anymore. Goes back to square 1."

Sean stood there, flabbergasted. He tried to wonder if he actually really knew this too, and just wanted to ignore it? Maybe he just wanted Emma so badly to be okay, that he ignored the signs.

"When she's around you though, Sean.." as Snake spoke softer, Sean's eyes locked back on his and swallowed. "She seems to forget it all, and she is happy." he said sincerely.

Silence filled the room.

Sean's chest caved.

"I just wish she could be like that always again." Snake looked down, "She's been skipping her therapy every Friday the last four weeks."

Sean was stumped and couldn't believe this.

"Her Mom is starting to worry again." Snake looked up to pause and blink, looking around

Sean was gone.

(((****))))

The next day at school, Sean sat outside for lunch with Manny and Jay, staring at his uneaten food. The sun shined down on them, but he felt gloomy and depressed.

He couldn't get Emma off his mind.

Alex was walking over to their table with Amy and had actual books in their hands. Alex actually seemed to clean up her life a lot, but Amy on the other hand, still seemed like the schools biggest slut.

"hey Sean." She couldn't rip her eyes off him.

If he wasn't hot before, this year he was absolutely fuckable and irresistible. She was literally right now just thinking about him in bed. They use to only fool around before, and had never got that far. Now she wondered, why not? She wondered if he was single now..

"Sean?" she scoffed, being ignored.

Sean snapped out of it, in his own little world since Manny and Jay were being..the way Manny and Jay were together. He then noticed Alex and long lost Amy sitting with them. He caught Amy hungrily eyeing him and caught Alex's smirk at him too, both knowing Amy had some things on her mind about him that he wasn't interested in.

"Uh..hey.." Sean drifted. Spinner came over next and saved the awkward moment as Sean just cleared his throat and looked away.

Spinner sat while he taunted Jay, "Didn't you drop out?"

Jay looked away from Manny and shot back at him, "Shouldn't _you_ drop out?"

"Why?" Spinner asked confused

"Cause you're dumb as nails." Jay shot back.

Emma sat down next, coming out of nowhere and beside Sean. He sat up, and looked her over as he had millions of questions for her. He was shocked she was here, but happy, but mad at the same time. She sat there, innocently, like she had no idea of what he now knew and how late last night he stayed up, worrying about her, barely sleeping. He could barely focus on basketball practice either.

"Hey." She greeted Manny across the table who waved.

Across from Emma, Alex chuckled nudging Amy whose face fell when she saw how Sean's eyes were glued to Emma and all his attention was focused on her; she was the girl he use to date before him and Emma hooked up. Oh my God! He still wasn't over her?! Cause girl!? Amy was baffled and annoyed.

"You had your chance, Amy." Alex joked.

"What the hell does she have that I don't?" Amy sized Emma up and down next to Sean. What? Did he like the girls who acted like a goody little two shoes? Was that what got him going? Amy could do that!

Manny was the only one who overheard the conversation and Jay clued in at last minute when she muttered, "Morals, maybe? Dignity- For one." Amy gasped as Manny seemed to mumble on, "..which you seem to be lacking."

Even Alex laughed, and Jay too. Amy scowled at her and rolled her eyes as she got up and left.

On the other side, Sean leaned closer to Emma to keep their conversation between them. When she felt him get closer, his breath tickled the side of her neck, and she sucked in a quiet unsteady breath.

"You alright?" Sean asks her.

She acts like she doesn't know what he's talking about, and it upsets him.

"Fine." she shrugs, looking at him and then away, leaning herself forward onto the table.

Jay grinned widely at them all, "Is everyone ready for the Big game for Seanny on the weekend?"

Manny stands up as she answers, "I'll be there! I gotta go though. Cheer meeting. See you guys later!"

"Fun." Alex said sarcastically, gathering her books up as she left and too peaced out, "Later guys."

"See yeah."

Jay sighed and admitted, "I should get back to work."

"Blow it off. Lets go hang at my house." Spinner suggested.

Jay looked at him like he REALLY was dumb as nails, but then thought it through. "Fuck it, lets go." they both laughed as they got up and went. Even Emma laughed softly and watched them go before turning to look at Sean.

He was worrying her for once.

He seemed quiet today, and studying the table too hard. He finally turned his head back at her and confessed everything now that the coast was clear, "Why have you been ditching school and your sessions with Doctor Andrews?"

Emma's mouth fell, searching his eyes for some sign of a joke. "..What?"

Sean clenched his jaw, looking away and then snapped back at her, "Snake told me, Emma. And you've been a little jumpy the past few days," he asked her with a weary look, trying to be careful not to upset her. "Did seeing Toby again set you back?"

Emma couldn't believe this, she even laughed in disbelief and went to get up but then turned back to him, a hard look in her eyes.

"You're lecturing **me** about skipping a class or two?" she snickered, "It's not a big deal okay? Some _stupid_ class, Sean!"

Sean's eyes locked on hers tight, "Maybe to some, but to you, English is your favorite subject."

Emma tried to ignore the butterflies she felt over him knowing that. She couldn't deal with it all now. The confusing feelings, especially this minute. She felt happy, upset, cornered, cared about, loved..

"So what, Sean?"

"Tell me why you skipped it?"

"Sean." her patience was wearing thin.

"It was Toby."

"No."

"What'd he say to you?"

"Nothing."

Sean snickered, "We both know that isn't true. You were scared."

"I wasn't."

Sean spoke the brutal truth- "He reminded you of Rick."

" _ **SHUT-UP!"**_

Sean's mouth fell. She had yelled at him and then got up, some people even looking over and Sean wincing a bit before looking back up at Emma who ran two shakey hands through her hair and went to storm off but whirled back towards him angrily.

He tried to get out what he could before she charged off, standing up and his hard lean body standing close to her trembling figure that was trying to keep it together and he badly wanted to just hold her . Emma glanced around with teary eyes as everyone was watching the scene between her and Sean.

Sean said under his breath so only she could hear, "If you keep pretending to be okay, you're never going to **be** okay. I know you're strong, but if you need to break, then fucking break Emma! You deserve that. And you can pick up the pieces after, we can do it together. But let me, or fuck, let _anyone_ be there for you for when it happens!"

His heart broke when a tear fell down her cheek, and she tried so hard to keep the other ones locked up. "What the hell is wrong with you, Sean? You're supposed to be my friend!"

"And worrying about you means I'm not?"

Someone from the side of the crowd stepped up and walked over to the scene, "Everything okay?" a male voice asked.

Sean turned his head and doubled back to see Peter Poin Dexter.

"You fuckin' kidding me?" his blood boiled. When the hell did this guy go here? Sean angered more when Peter got closer to Emma.

Peter glanced at him, then back at Emma and stepped closer to her as Sean kept a firm hateful eye on him.

"You okay?" Peter asked her. Even the crowd could see Sean ready to snap Peter's neck or something and he actually stepped forward when Peter put a hand on the small arch of Emma's back, "Come on." he wanted her to leave with him.

Peter was actually acting as if some _**savior**_ or something. Sean didn't know what hit him, but he grabbed Peter right off of Emma and threw him into the wall behind him, against the school.

"You touch her again and I'll-"

"MR CAMERON!" the crowd broke away for the principle coming over, Mrs H, also known as Peter's mommy.

At the back of the crowd, somebody also watched the scene with a slight smile. Ellie. As she watched, she snapped at the rubber band around her wrist.

Peter was hit hard against the wall, but when he heard his mom come for his rescue, he smirked smugly at Sean who clenched his fists and wanted to finish the job, standing nose to nose with him until Mrs H stepped beside.

"Back away now, or I'll be forced to call security or the police." she knew her son was small, and wouldn't survive this guys blow. She's been very informed of Sean Cameron and his file from Raditch. He wasn't a favorite, lets just say that.

Sean just sneered and turned, stopping when he noticed Emma still standing there, and giving him this _look_ he didn't think he would be able to ever shake off.

Her eyes were.. cold.

"Em," he softened, and winced. He was suppose to be changed; a better man..but Peter had set him off. The jealousy made him go mad. And he was just sick and worried about her.

"Emma, I'm just worried about you and certain things you've been...doing..have been questionable. " he swallowed, "I want to help. Snake does too.. and your mom..."

From behind him, Peter slowly walked around, and caught Emma's eye when she glanced at him a bit at the corner of her eye. He smirked, and knew that look. He went to Emma and slipped his hand into hers.

She went to walk away with him, replying to Sean before she went.

"You're the _last_ person to ever worry about the things _**I'm**_ doing, Sean."

Sean's mouth opened, but she walked away, and his eyes watched her go with Peter with agony and confusion in his eyes. He wondered what else she meant by that..

 **Author note: Side note, she was trying to make him jealous hehe. Just a small update for you guys! Emma needs some HALP! Poor Sean. Don't worry though, she will make it up to him soon ;) He's been such a good guy lately! Am I right?**


	11. They Will Never Be Over

Emma flinched only a little in pain when Peter slammed into her again, and pushed her up against the girls bathroom stall. It was after school, and everyone had probably left home after the 'scene' outside. Peter had walked her to her locker to get her stuff, and then she pulled him in here when the halls were empty.

It wasn't long until they were fucking in one of the stalls.

She dug her nails into his not so broad shoulders, scoffing and demanding, "Harder."

Peter was breathing unevenly, not knowing how much longer he could last, or even how much harder he can go. He was already pushing as hard as he could! And to be honest - he wasn't that strong of a guy to be throwing her around like she wanted. If thats what she did..

He dug his head into her neck, panting and grunting as she looked up at the cieling and let him use her body, and tears began to burn her eyes.

"Hard enough?" he growled in her ear and even wrapped one of his hands in her hair and gripped it.

She flinched, but it wasn't enough. "Harder. Hurt me."

Suddenly she was released, both panting but Emma more confused and Peter mad as he picked up his pants.

"I'm not hurting you."

Emma stood there, legs still a little numb and leaning against the stall with a look of disbelief. Her shirt and skirt looked crumpled.

"You don't even like fucking me do you?" Peter spat, hurt in his eyes.

Emma avoided his eyes, rolling her own.

He snickered, "You just want the pain. What are you? Some lunatic?" she stared down for a hard minute.

"You wouldn't get it." she shot back, glaring into his eyes now.

"I've heard the rumors about you." he admitted, "Is this your fucked up way to still try to feel pain or something? Are you that numb and broken from what that Rick guy did to you?"

It was that moment Emma actually agreed with this dick. That was probably why she did this, with guys she didn't even _like_ , with guys who couldn't get to her heart. She wanted them to hurt her, because the last guy who forced her into something like this, had always hurt her more. Now as she thought about it, she was silly to think Peter could hurt her more than Rick.

Nobody could ever hurt her more than him.

"That guy-Sean. He was right. You need help." Peter unlocked the stall now, as a pair of feet had entered into the girls room slowly.

He stormed out of the stall, with Emma standing there numbly, until the emotion flew through her and her lower lip began to tremble and she shut her eyes, covering her mouth with the back of her hand and cried.

Peter charged to the door to leave, passing some red headed girl who eyed him and then stepped out of his way when he stormed out.

Ellie stood there, and watched the door shut, and turned her head towards the stall Emma was crying behind. She thought she was alone.

Ellie slowly, and quietly went over. Peaking around the stall until Emma looked up and gasped. Ellie noticed how fragile she looked and hid her grin.

"You okay?"

Emma looked away, embarressed, with tears still down her eyes. She then gave up and shook her head, crying harder

Ellie frowned and walked in, "Emma I know we aren't, _close-_ " they both chuckled sadly when she said that, "But I want to help."

Emma bit her lip to stop it from trembling, but the tears wouldn't stop. When Peter brought Sean into this, her whole body just broke down. What if he found out what she had done? Or been doing? He'd probably be so . .mad, and disgusted.

Emma looked up with desperate eyes, "Please don't tell Sean."

Ellie smiled softly, "Sean who?"

Emma sadly smiled, and tried to wipe her tears away.

((***)))

Sean was at work now, working on a car with Jay but barely there as he had a 100 things on his mind. His mind was racing, and even Jay noticed Sean hadn't looked this beat in a long time.

"you alright?" Jay asked as Sean was whipping his tools clean and setting them back in the toolbox.

Sean stayed quiet, and Jay frowned.

Jay wished him and Emma could just go back into being the lovey dovey couple they use to be. Even HE regretted ever trying to break them up. Sean clearly was crazy about the girl and now that Jay understood love now, he understood why Sean wouldn't just give up on her. It's not like Jay would ever give up on Manny either, even if she didn't want him. She was the one good thing he'd ever had.

"You need to go talk to her." Jay said stupidly.

He wasn't sure what quite to say. They never really spoke about Emma, they just exchanged knowing glances whenever she walked by or when Sean was to afraid to fully ask Jay for his advice about her, knowing him and Emma weren't the best of 'buddies'..

Jay saw it clearly now though- the two had this an unstoppable bond and love for another that nobody could break, even if they acted like they were 'over'. They'd **never** be over.

Sean glared at him, "Talking got me in this mess." Now Emma hated him, and went somewhere with _Peter._ What the hell did that guy have anyways that Sean didn't? Was he there, 24/7 trying to take care of her? Did he stay up late, worrying about her? Loved her since he was only 13 years old?

Jay sighs, "She's got to know that was just because you care about her." he paused and clicked his tongue before he suggested with a slow shrug, "Tell her you love her, man."

Sean looked taken back, a little even thrown off Jay spoke it out loud. He never admitted it to him, but it was because he never had to. It was awfully obvious- but I guess now they were going to talk about it.

He lowered his eyes, "Thats the last thing she wants to hear."

"How would you know? Tried it ? The other shit you've been trying hasn't been working." Jay joked.

"Shes got Peter."

"Dexter? Hell no. She doesn't even LIKE him. Manny even tells me so."

"Then why she with him always? Huh?"

Silence took over them, and Sean saw Jay pause strangely, and then begin to avoid his eyes.

Manny had maybe told him that Emma hooked up with him, but that he meant nothing to her . and supposedly it had stopped.

Jay suddenly looks like hes said too much, but had said nothing and Sean snapped at him, "What? You know something."

"Nothing man."

Jay couldn't get away from Sean's vicious glare. The guy was practically breathing out his flaring nostrils. Jay threw his arms out and said like no big deal, "They hooked up. Once or twice. ."

Jay's words drowned out as Sean looked crushed, and then upset.

"Manny said it was over man..even she said that Emma knows the only guy for her is you. We both know shes just afraid to give you another chance." Jay tried to laugh it off and make a joke, "I mean, what is this? The 6th time you'll be dating if all goes well and as it should?"

"I got to go." Sean suddenly said, walking around him to leave.

Jay's mouth dropped and called after Sean, "Your shift isn't done yet! Tony will be pissed!

But Sean didn't care. Even all the rest of the employees watched him storm off

(((((((((*******))))))))))

Ellie had actually convinced Emma to go to the Dot with her. They both sat across a table from another, mugs of hot chocolate in their hands.

Ellie watched every Emma made, and the girl seemed absolutely exhausted, and then she finally spoke.

"I need help." she mumbled.

Silence. Ellie loves to see her look so distraught, and nowhere to turn. For god sakes, she was asking Ellie Nash for help.

"Yea. I saw."

Emma looked up to see Ellie smiling at her own words and giving Emma a look like she was only kidding. If only Emma knew.. .

The blonde sucked in a shakey breath, not believing she was going to tell Ellie this but the vibes she was giving her was like she could trust her.

"Sean hates me. Mannys too busy with Jay, and I don't want to tell my parents that I think I'm losing it."

"understandable." Ellie says and unconsciously snaps her rubber band. Emma stares at it.

"Do you- do you do that to stop from cutting?" she had to ask. Ellie paused.

"I do it so I can still feel the pain, but it doesn't leave a scar."

"I have scars." Emma barely even whispered, her tired cried out eyes staring down at her hands. "All inside me. And they won't go away. Ever. I don't know what to do, I've _tried_."

"Well Emma, the first thing you need to know is.." Ellie lies, "Your'e right and Sean's wrong. You know how to handle your own struggles."

Emma furrowed, "But-"

"I mean who does he think he is? Your boyfriend? He messed things up with both us girls a long time ago."

"...yeah..." Emma wasn't sure how to think about this.

Ellie sighed and leaned closer across the table, "Telling you what to do, or who not to hang out with, but meanwhile.. he's hanging around some other girl himself."

Instead of asking Ellie how they even got to talking about this? Emma couldn't help but blurt out with a vulnerable look in her eyes, "he is?" the pain in her chest was unbearable.

Ellie hid her smirk. Emma was barely hanging on by a threat now.

"I know we never really talked before Emma, or have been friends, but you can come to me. Whenever . Okay? I know what this feels like."

"Ok."

Emma had no idea what she was agreeing to, but she was happy somebody now knew about her side self torture and could possibly help her stop it. She was too ashamed to tell anybody else.

Ellie would have to do.

 **Author note: Stopping here until I get more reviews guys. I'm working hard with this one, the least you can do it review at the bottom of this story. To the people that have, and always do, I truly thank you! And am really only updating for you. I just wish others showed that they truly appreciated my writing and me spending time on this.**

 **?**


	12. Everyone Knows He's Inlove

((((((((********))))))))))

That weekend, the Degrassi gym was packed. As Emma snuck into the back doors through the game, the cheering crowd was deafening. Emma found a small spot to sit and she quietly watched the basketball game.

Her and Sean hadn't talked since what had happened a few days ago. Neither had her and Peter, but that didn't matter, that was done for good. He stood on the other side of gym, already supposedly dating Darcy Edwards. Emma rolled her eyes and just focused on Sean. She sat focused on his every move. It seemed everyone was happy to see him back on their team. The Degrassi panthers were even cheering and dancing with pride.

Coach Armstrong held his dry erase play board and spoke animatedly as he showed the boys the next two plays. Sean tried to listen, but like the other day, he didn't have his head fully in the game. Yet, he was winning this for them. Him and Jimmy Brookes were even passing another the ball, assisting another in goals.

"Lets win this boys!" Armstrong told them and they nodded, grabbing one last drink of water before back into the game.

Sean grabbed his water and sipped it, standing beside Jimmy who was suddenly distracted by something. Sean was just checking the scoreboard when Jimmy nudged his arm a bit with his hand.

"You and her really over?"

Sean looked quickly over at the sidelines when Jimmy asked that, but his shoulders slumped when it was Ellie standing with Ashley. They noticed the guys too and both waved, Ellie's smile lingered.

"Yea." Sean said.

Jimmy just nodded, trying not to act fishy but Sean sensed something suspicious- But, he didn't really care. It was time to finish the game. Maybe Jimmy was into Ellie now? Sean wished him best of luck.

"Get out there!" Armstrong yelled, pointing back to the game. They were against the Red Devils, whom they always lost to, but not this time. Sean being on the team was making a noticeable difference and he was the hot topic of tonights game.

The whistle blew and Sean was back on the hardwood floor. He blinked his baby blue eyes as they stung from the sweat that trickled down his brow into them. He had a nervous energy enveloping him in the final minutes of the game. The atmosphere intimidated him. He wasn't some jock who did this for the popularity or girls. He did it to play, he was just **good** at it. But as he waited for the whistle to blow again, his eyes fell onto Emma.

There she was. She came. And suddenly Sean was one of those stupid guys who did it for the girls. Well, girl in general. Even though still not on speaking terms with another, he was glad she was here and he really wanted to win now. On the sidelines, Ellie glanced between the two, Emma had not noticed that Sean saw her and was staring right at her.

"You all right, man?" Jimmy even asked, eyeing Sean a little weirdly as they set up positions again for the last minute of the game. The other team got in their positions too, the Ref putting the whistle to his lips.

Sean looked away from Emma now, grinning a little. He was now. The whistle blew, the game was back on. The ball was inbounded and a screen was set to create space for Sean. He easily sunk a three pointer and the crowd erupted.

He looked up at the scoreboard. Degrassi won.

The crowd went crazy once the final buzzer went off. ean and the rest of the team huddled at center court. The Blue Panthers defeated The Red Devil rivals seventy-eight to seventy-four. The players began to shake hands and Sean quickly searched for Emma again as the crowd was getting up to leave.

As his eyes scanned the gym, he dragged his hand down his face realizing she was nowhere in sight. He jolted from his daze feeling a comforting hand on his shoulder and immediately knew it was not the girl he wanted it to be.

"Good game, Sean." Ellie told him, but quickly turned to Jimmy next to give him a big hug. Sean just nodded and looked over his shoulder again, looking for Emma.

Jimmy smiled, slowly letting Ellie go. He hated to, since they were getting so close. She smelt so good, like cinnamon apples. Maybe, just maybe, he was getting a small crush. She was even good on the drums! And on Sean's good word, he knew she wasn't taken nor had ex boyfriend baggage. Problem was, he was dating Ash again. But maybe that would be changed tonight? Jimmy Brookes wanted Ellie Nash. And he was on a civil level with Sean Cameron. Hell has frozen over.

"Hey, Sean. Want to come to the after party?" Jimmy asked.

Sean bit the end of his tongue and just let it go, finally turning towards them. If Emma didn't want to stay and talk, he wouldn't push her. He certainly didn't want to talk about _Peter_ anyways. He still couldn't believe she was hooking up with that guy. He wished Jay never told him. He was really bad with handling jealousy and he was so angry at her for being with another guy. He knew that was selfish to think but it was just painful to know maybe she had moved on. Maybe they were **just** friends. Or now, maybe they weren't anything. It was scary to think he and Emma's second chance at anything was ruined already- Done, finished - and ended so badly.

"Sure." He told Jimmy. He missed Ellie's small smirk and nod.

"I'll share some of my Tequila." Jimmy joked, leading Sean and Ellie out of the gym. "You did after all win us the game. I wasn't sure you had your head in the game with Emma sitting in the stands."

Sean stopped, watching them go and rolled his eyes. Great. Everyone but Emma knew he was in love with her. Now his shoulders slumped. He _really_ loved her and now they were done. He couldn't stand to think it. And he **still** couldn't stand to think of her with any other guy. Suddenly that tequila sounded amazing.

((((((****)))))

Sean got a hold of that tequila quick at the party. He avoided the attention he was receiving from many of the girls at the party and snuck out to Jimmy's back yard where an isolated pool was. The lights were on, and Sean carried his bottle of tequila with him over to the steps while chugging it and cringing from the taste.

Almost stumbling, he was able to kick off his shoes and then sat on the edge of the pool. He dipped his feet in just as the door from the house slid open again and out came Ellie.

"Thought I saw you come out here."

Sean had glanced back when he heard her come out and just miserably turned back towards the water, glaring down at it and taking another swig. She sat down next to him and Sean sighed. How come people didn't understand when he wanted to be alone?

He could feel Ellie's eyes on him as she sat closely next to him and then she asked softly, "Did you come out here cause you saw Emma?"

Sean turned his head and squinted his eyes deadly at Ellie, "What?"

"She's here." Noted Ellie, "With um, Peter though." Her eyes scanned Sean's to watch his reaction and the hurt and rage in his eyes were crystal clear. Too bad that he had no idea she was lying. Emma hadn't come to the party.

Sean looked back down at the water and didn't speak, just took another swig and Ellie giggled a bit, taking it from him. "I think that's enough."

"Whatever. I'm drunk anyways." He said.

Ellie put a comforting hand on his leg, "Sean, you got to just tell her how you feel."

He snapped at her, "Isn't that a little too late? She's here, with Peter. That sums it up, don't you think?"

Seeing what she wanted to see made Ellie beam with delight, and she leaned in, kissing him deeply. He didn't kiss back, only looked awfully confused, until Ellie pulled away and pushed a piece of his hair behind his ear and looked at him like he was some prize. Sean could only still stare in confusion and a blurry site from all the alcohol.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Look. It doesn't have to be anything.." as Ellie spoke, she stood up and slowly pealed her shirt off. Sean swallowed hard and looked around before back up at her. She slowly got in the water and swam up seductively to him in nothing but bra and panties.

"Ellie. I…" he tensed as she stood in between his legs in the pool, her hands went on his legs again and she leaned up, almost kissing him but whispered first.

"It's just **fun** , Sean. I'm not asking for us to get back together."

He swallowed, and his chest ached but his body reacted to Ellie's when she pulled him down into the water and they both ripped his shirt off. He nodded, and she kissed him again and slowly he did so back. His eyes shut harder when he pictured Emma and cursed scornfully. It only made him try harder to forget about her. Clearly him and Emma weren't meant to be anymore. As much as that left a burning hole in his heart.

Ellie was slammed up against the wall of the pool and she wrapped her legs around Sean's waist, pulling his shorts down underwater. She gasped and smiled as he already slammed into her and the fill of him set her body on fire. She wrapped her legs tighter around him and scratched her nails down his back. The water from the pool dripped off of them as he thrusted into her and she cried out in pleasure and panted.

She held his biceps and moved her body for him as he shuddered a bit, "Relax baby. You need it." she kissed his earlobe, "You need to forget all about her."

Sean numbly nodded and she began to tighten around him, and she began to kiss him again until she gasped and sobbed. "Oh Sean!" she was coming, and she cupped his face. "Tell me you love me."

Sean opened his eyes a bit bewildered, and tried to ignore that. He trusted a little harder into her, it was just sex after all, but then her plea only got louder.

"Tell me you love me, Sean."

He swallowed hard, eyes a bit blurry from his drunken state and he then groaned when Ellie tightened even more around him. "I love you." he choked out and regretted the words as soon as he said it but they both came and she echoed around the pool with her climax. He panted, and slowly opened his eyes, reality settling in.

Why did she make him say that? He heard her unsteady breathing and slight giggles as he moved back a bit, letting her go, and he looked at her confused..

She looked in a blissful state. Sean had made her come almost harder than he did when they were together. "Wow." she teased, standing back up straight and adjusting her bra.

Sean had his shorts back on and grabbed his shirt. When they got out, and Sean put on his shirt, he cornered his eyes at Ellie. She was still smiling strangely as she was getting dressed again and then she turned towards him, happy as can be. He nearly jumped when she went over and wrapped her arms around his neck and she eyed him wierdly when he took them off.

"What?"

He was looking at her like she was crazy as he stepped back. "Ellie this was just.."

Ellie looked livid for a moment, before she completely laughed it off and Sean stood there even a little more worried. "Sex. I know." she said.

"But you made me say.." Sean didn't say it again, he couldn't. Once was enough because it was a lie. He didn't love Ellie, and he didn't know why she asked him to say it.

"Oh." Ellie looked away nearly blushing, "Sean it was just in the moment. It was nothing. Just fun. Alright? I'm totally fine with this...are you?"

She made it seem easy to point the finger back at him that Sean for a moment thought he may of been the crazy one taking this too far. "Yea. Sorry." he apologized and nodded. Well, it was over now. What was he suppose to do? Shake her hand? Say thankyou?

Thoughts of Emma now clouded his mind and regret swam through him. He looked down and even Ellie could see the signs that Emma was back on his mind, after this, after even what they had just done. Unbelievable!

"Jimmy really likes you, you know?"

Ellie snickered bitterly, "Really? We're having that conversation?"

Sean cleared his throat awkwardly. Guess she had a point. "Alright well, see you at school?" he went to walk off, to slowly turn back, shame on his face. "Can you not..tell anyone?"

Ellie looked bleakly at him. He went to open his mouth out of fear before she smiled and shrugged, "Ofcourse I won't tell."

He nodded, and with that, decided it was best to walk home. Alone. Tonight was such a mistake. Unknowing to him, Ellie watched him leave until out of site, and a tear ran down her cheek as she gritted her teeth and crossed her arms.


	13. I Love You

"Hey Spike." Manny greeted as she came into Emma's house the next day. Spike smiled and opened the door wider for her.

"Hey Manny, here for a girls night?"

"Yea. It's been while." Manny admitted, feeling a little awful for that. Emma had come up the stairs and heard that before coming around the corner. She couldn't help but agree. Her and Manny weren't hanging out like they use to. They use to be inseparable. Old Manny would of known already what happened between Emma and Sean yesterday but she had no idea. Old Manny also would have been consoling Emma all night last night from crying.

But she hadn't.

"Hey." Emma greeted faintly. There was definitely a strain on their friendship.

The girls went down to her room and had started a movie, uncomfortably sitting next to another and not knowing why. Manny could sense Emma's tension.

"Popcorn?"

Emma turned her head to Manny stretching her arm out with the bowl of popcorn. She shook her head, "No thanks."

Manny frowned, and looked back at the tv. She then shook her head and grabbed the remote, pressing pause.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked.

Manny put the bowl down and faced Emma, "We need to talk."

"About?"

"Us."

Emma teased, "Are we breaking up?"

Manny went serious and looked down sadly, "We haven't been the same since… well, just not for a while."

"Oh you mean how you're not around a lot?" Emma asked a bit bitterly.

"Emma, I'm trying."

"Are you?"

Manny swallowed from Emma's narrowed eyes now. Guilt ran through her, but also hurt and confusion.

"Well. . I have Jay now, and it's hard. . .and talking to you sometimes.. I feel-" Manny looked down and shook her head. Why was she holding back? Emma was like a sister to her. She needed to know the truth.

"I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall sometimes. And it's scares me. You're not you. You're not the same, and I don't expect you to be after what's happened but it hasn't even gotten a little better."

Emma stared at Manny after her outburst, and her walls came crashing down as she stood up and paced a little. Manny didn't expect that and cringed, "Em?"

Uh oh. Did she finally break her?

"Wow." Breathed Emma, finally stopping and tilted her head, "It must be national **Bitch At Emma** day."

Confused, Manny stood up, "Emma I don't want to fight, but I don't want us to drift apart anymore either. I want you back. I want my friend back."

"Manny, you don't get it! I won't ever be the same again, ok? Rick **tore** me apart."

Manny's eyes watered, "The Emma I know would never let him do that." She licked her lips, "Just try, ok?"

"You think I haven't been?!" she exclaimed, tears now swelling up in her own eyes. Manny was dead silent now. It made Emma think about her own question. "Maybe. .. maybe I've been a little out of it but-". … Ok. Maybe Manny was right. Maybe Sean was right too.

Speak of the devil.

"And where's Sean been?" Manny asked.

"Who cares." Emma grumbled. She looked away and crossed her arms now. She couldn't believe the two people she loved the most were turning on her like this.

"You do," Manny taunts, "I've kinda noticed he hasn't been following you around this weekend."

"He doesn't follow." Emma muttered.

Manny rolled her eyes, "Emma. We both beat around the bush when it comes to Sean now. But I know you still love him."

Emma avoided her eyes.

Manny went on, "And he's always been there. He wants you to get better too, we both do. He'd do anything for you! He's your guy, Em. He loves you."

Emma swallowed her sadness and taunted Manny, "You're with jay now and suddenly have dating advice."

"Thats harsh."

Emma looked down and nodded, "Sorry.."

Manny sadly smiled and nodded. She knew Emma meant it.

"You have your problems, and I get that, I very much get that. But it's time to face them." Manny said and Emma nodded, agreeing.

"You're right.

((((****))))

Emma was early to school the next day, and she walked down an empty hall wearing a small little white dress with a yellow cardigan. She put her hair behind her ears and nervously lifted her hand to finally knock on the door she stopped in front of.

Mrs Suave opened the door, and looked shocked. "Emma." She then gently smiled, opening the door wider. "Come on in."

Emma swallowed but nodded and did so, walking to the chair across from Mrs Sauves' desk. "Thanks."

She waited for the school consoler to sit until she weakily smiled.

"What's going on, Emma?"

"I'm….a little.." She struggled for the words. She knew that she wasn't in a good place. She needed more help. "Lost."

"It's okay to be lost sometimes. Lost still means you could be found again. In time."

"I'm not 100% sure that can ever happen.."

"Have you been meeting with your therapist on the side, Emma? Do you want me to call Snake-"

"No. Please no.." Emma begged, and then looked down sadly, "I just want to do this on my own. With somebody else. Mrs Andrews doesn't know the old me."

"And I do." Mrs Suave said then added, "But I know I'm going to like the new Emma too."

"I don't.." Emma said with tears now spilling out of her eyes.

Mrs Suave leaned forward with sympathy, "Tell me about it."

Emma nodded, sucking in a deep breath, and she told Mrs Suave everything. It was a good start.

((*)))

Students now crowded the hallways and even Sean was one of the early ones. He couldn't get a good sleep lastnight so thought he'd just come and get the day over with. He hadn't talked to Emma still.. it was killing him. And now, with what happened with Ellie, it killed him a little more. With a sober brain now, he knew he shouldn't of done what he did with Ellie but at least it was over. Wouldn't happen again. And hopefully Emma wouldn't find out.

Sean stared at his locker, a little out of it, until Jay's voice caught him off guard.

"You are so busted."

Sean turned his head and his eyes were wide, "What?"

"Tony knows you left during your shift." Jay said and stopped in front of him, giving him a look that what he did was uncool.

Sean blinked. Oh right. "Yea." He coughed, "I'll uh, go talk to him after. Make it up to him."

"You're lucky you're one of his best mechanics, man." Jay then asked, "Did you talk to her?"

"Huh?"

"Emma. You okay dude?"

Sean looked back at Jay to see him eying him funny. So he was being obvious huh? "Yea I'm fine."

"Alright.." drifted Jay, still not convinced but had to go. "I was just dropping Manny off but I'll see you after?"

Sean nodded, then watched him go. On Jay's way out, Ellie came in, and she darted her eyes straight to Sean's. Sean straightened up and then turned, swallowing hard and grabbed his bag walking off. Ellie stopped in the middle of the hallway and watched him go, tilting her head a bit.

Around the corner, Sean picked up his speed, not wanting to see Ellie right now or talk about what happened. As much as he knew, he wanted to forget it even happened. When he almost got to his classroom, somebody came out of Mrs Suaves office and he slammed into them. Emma gasped and was pushed back against the wall by somebody until she saw just who it was and Sean stared back at her.

"Hi." He cursed as the lame words exited his mouth and cringed. He then stared at her and how good she looked today.

Emma looked down and nervously played with her hands until looking back up at him. He glanced over her to see Mrs Suaves office and that she had come out of it. Did that mean she was talking to someone again? That was good.. Really good.

"I was just-" Emma paused, a little embarrassed and still upset over everything. But talking to Suave really lifted some weight off her shoulders.. .maybe talking to Sean would help too. "She's helping me now… it's more convenient too."

Sean nodded, completely understanding and not judging. Emma smiled softly to that and he did so back.

"Can we," he paused nervously, "talk?"

Emma stared back at him, both lost in their little worlds until she nodded. They walked off and decided to go to the Dot. She sat across from him and he turned the tiny spoon in his hot chocolate. The place was empty other than the employee who worked there.

"About the other day.." Sean said, "I was really just trying to help. I was worried about you."

Emma nodded. "I know." She knew that now. She just, didn't take it well. "I guess it was hard to hear." She stared off as she mumbled honestly, "It hard to still hear his name."

Sean too nodded. He understood. He decided to change the subject from Rick. "I meant what I said. I want to be there for you."

"You have been." Emma replied sweetly, "But I think it's time I do it on my own now though. For real. I'm not going to get better if I don't. But I like you there for me.. you're one of the only people I trust."

Sean lifted his eyebrows hopefully. He hoped that was true. He knew he broke her trust a while ago and he was doing everything to get it back.

Emma sucked in a deep breath, "So," she weakly smiled, "Everyones talking about the game you won this weekend."

Sean sheepishly grinned and scratched the back of his neck, "Yea. Armstrong really wants me to think about a scholarship for college. He said scouts come for the playoffs."

"You should do it!"

"Yea?"

Emma beamed happily for him and his heart was souring in happiness. "You'd need to really work for it, having been out of the game for a while but I know you could do it."

"Woah," he said teasingly, "Telling me I'm rusty?"

Emma laughed and sighed, "I heard Jimmy threw a huge party after the game."

Sean froze in his place, "You weren't there?" he asked. Ellie had said Emma was there. With Peter. Had she lied?... Why would she do that?

"No." Emma shook her head, "I came to the game though."

Sean stared down in confusion before trying to focus on Emma again. He just couldn't believe she wasn't really at the party. Why would Emma lie about that though? It had to be Ellie lying. But that still didn't make sense. Why lie about that?

…. To get him to sleep with her?

Sean tried to brush it off.

"I'm glad you came. Honestly, I think we won because you did." He said honestly, and locked eyes with her. "My head wasn't in the game when I thought you were done with me."

Emma softened and put her hand out, resting it on Sean's that lied beside his cup. "We'll always be friends, Sean." She gave him a firm squeeze.

Sean's fingers on reflex intertwined with Emma's. Emma bit her lip and laced her fingers with his, both staring at their hands locking together. It felt so right.

"Yea. _Friends_." He said softly, before looking up and she gazed back at him too.

Emma blushed and looked away, taking her hand back. Feeling her discomfort, Sean cringed and got up. "Come on, we'll be late." She nodded and got up too.

When they walked outside of the Dot, Sean held the door for her, still cursing at himself for coming on too strong like that. She probably knew he still wasn't over her now. He felt like a dummy.

They walked to his car where he pulled out his keys and walked her to the passanger door to unlock it. As he put the key in the door, he turned the key but stood still. Emma leaned on his car and he then let go of his keys.

"Sean?" Emma asked when he turned back towards her, with a look on his face that read he had something to say to her. Instead of saying it though, he just wrapped his hands around her head and into her hair before he captured her lips in his and kissed her.

Emma gasped but kissed him back instantly. She put her hands on his chest and felt his heart going rapid, much like hers. She kissed him back happily and smiled against the kiss a little before his hands dropped to her waist and leaned her more against his car.

"Sean.."

He pulled away, both breathless, "I miss you so much." His nose brushed against hers softly. She closed her eyes and couldn't believe they were doing this again.

"You have me." She whispered honestly.

He shook his head, hurt in his eyes as he opened them to hers again. "Not like before."

Emma couldn't believe she didn't' see this before. As he stared into her eyes, she saw just how in love with her he was. And she was just as in love with him still too.

"No. Just like before." She promised.

Once again, they kissed and hungrily did so, like they've missed too much time and had to make up for it.

He broke away to mummer, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

 **Author Note: I'm back! It's been a while and I'm so sorry! I'm really sorry I couldn't update Xmas stories either. I had pneumonia. So I think that's a pretty good excuse. Sorry again guys and I hope you like these updates! Stay tuned, it's about to get really good .**


	14. Not Ready

"Back together huh?" smirked Jay, working on a car with Sean at the shop.

Sean smirked too by the engine, using his wrench to work inside it. "Yup."

Being with Emma was like stepping into the sun again. It felt good, warm. Right.

"Thankgod." Jay sighed, leaning back on the car in fake exhaustion, "I was getting tired of all the broading and self torture you were causing yourself."

Sean chuckled and his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and opened it with a grin hoping it was Emma texting him back about tonight. He wanted to take her for dinner. Instead, it was Ellie.

Sean frowned as his phone received pictures from her. Pictures he didn't ask from her. Nudes. Ellie stood infront of the mirror with just her panties on.

"What is it?" Sean quickly shut the phone as Jay asked.

"Nothing." Sean lied and cleared his throat. Why the hell was Ellie sending him pictures of herself like that? He wanted to forget what happened. It meant nothing- Ellie said so too. Just fun. "I'll be right back."

Jay nodded but eyed him strangely as Sean walked off quickly.

(((**)))

The next day at school, Sean brushed past everyone and quickly walked to his locker. Stopping dead in his tracks, he saw Ellie standing there, waiting for him. He looked around before heading over and grabbed her arm, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sean, that hurts!" she whipped her arm out and rubbed it with a pout before smiling at him again, "Did you get my texts?"

"You mean your _pictures?"_ he whispered harshly, looking around and made sure nobody was listening. "Ellie, I'm sorry but I'm not interested. Alright?"

"But we had sex.." Ellie reminded him bleakly, staring him the eyes. "You made love to me in the pool-"

"That wasn't-!" Sean stopped himself from shouting, and tried to remain calm, "That wasn't what that was, Ellie and you know it."

Hurt filled her eyes, "You told me you loved me."

"You asked me to say it!" Sean couldn't believe this and stared at her in denial. This couldn't be real.

"Is this about her? Emma?" she spat her name.

Sean closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "I'm with Emma, yes. That has nothing to do with this though. We had _fun,_ if that's what you want to call it but it's **over.** Ellie, I love her. Please stop whatever it is you're doing."

"Does she know about me?"

Sean snapped and nearly punched the locker next to Ellie. She didn't even flinch and they stared furiously back at another.

"Does she know you came inside me just the other night?"

"Stay the hell away from Emma." Sean warned with a threatening tone in his voice.

Ellie raised an eyebrow and just walked around him, and he cornered his eyes, watching her leave until out of site before he inhaled a deep shakey breath and looked around with disbelief.

What the hell was happening? When had Ellie totally lost it?

"Sean?"

Sean jumped and spun around. Emma had just gotten there and walked over from coming out of Mrs Suaves office. She must not of saw anything as she came over and cupped his face. Still a bit jumpy, Sean softened at her touch, trying to get over what just happened and kissed her softly, but mind still elsewhere.

"You okay?" Emma sensed something wrong.

He sighed and pulled her into his arms. He already felt better. "Yea."

"You've been weird since lastnight.." She drifted and honestly felt maybe he regretted this. Them getting back together.

"I'm.." he paused and looked down, shaking his head. He couldn't tell her. How could he tell her he had sex with Ellie one day before telling her he still loved her? She'd probably dump him and never believe a word from him again. And they'd be done forever.

"I don't know." He lied.

"Ok." Emma sensed the lie but smiled sadly and went to turn to leave until he grabbed her hand back.

"Hey." He pulled her in closer and promised, "It's not you, or even anything about us. Ok? I'm just out of it."

She was looking down but he lifted her chin up to look honestly into her eyes, "Yea." She nodded, believing that now. She smiled a bit and so did he.

"I love you." He said.

"Mhm."

"Oh, just mhm?" he grabbed her sides more tightly and leaned down as she laughed a bit. He grinned and pushed her hair back, leaning down to kiss her and she happily did so back until Manny came over.

"Break it up love birds, we've got English." She said and they pulled away with Emma blushing and Sean smirking.

"After you," Sean told Manny tauntingly and she led, pulling Emma's hand along and he then followed after. Emma sent him a playful look over her shoulder and he chuckled.

In class, Sean sat behind Emma, not really paying attention. He was in a zone until snapping out of it when he felt his phone buzz. He clenched his jaw, his gut knotting, and hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

When he pulled it out, he saw his messages. 50 missed messages from Ellie. Sean looked around with alarm in his eyes and just shoved it back in his pocket.

This needed to stop.

((**))

Sean used basketball practice to blow off some steam after school. The cheerleaders were practing on one side with the basketball players on the other. As he nailed in the next shot, he went to the bench to sit and catch his breath.

Jimmy came over and slapped his hand into his, "Good work out there, man."

"You too." Sean said, but his mind was somewhere else. He still couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Emma found out about everything. He couldn't lose her. Just thinking about it made him panic.

"I heard you were told about the scouts."

"Um." Sean finally looked over at Jimmy and winced, "Yea."

Jimmy shrugged. "It's cool dude. You'll deserve it if you get it. My parents can pay for my intuition. Yours kinda..can't, right? So a scholarship would be great for you."

"Right." Sean agreed, even though Jimmy said it in a dick kind of way but Sean knew he didn't mean anything by it this time. It was just the way Jimmy was.

The doors by the front of the gym caught Sean and Jimmy's attention as Ashley Kerwin came storming in.

"Come on, Paige." Ashley said over a few feet away, having to pick up Paige from her cheerleading class on the other side of the gym.

Sean watched Ashley and Paige scurry out of the gym, not even glancing Jimmy's way but all the other cheerleaders were, glaring at Jimmy.

"What was that about?" Sean asked, turning towards Jimmy.

Jimmy shrugged, "Me and Ash sort of broke up." "

"Oh. Sorry."

Jimmy stood back up, grabbing his bag. "I'm not. We aren't right for another."

"Really?" Sean couldn't believe that. He's known Jimmy to be with Ashley almost as long as Sean's been with Emma.

"See you round." Was all Jimmy said and left with that. Sean went to the locker room, grabbed his bag, and exited out the back. When he stepped out the door though, he hid a little more behind it when he saw Jimmy standing with someone out by his car. Jimmy was with Ellie.

Ellie had her hands all over Jimmy, giggling and leaning against his car as the two flirted. Sean squinted his eyes, confused. If Ellie was with Jimmy now, she was sure to leave him alone right? But how could Ellie be with him when she was suppose to be Ashleys best friend?

Sean decided to take the other exit and leave the two be. He hoped this meant he wouldn't get another text from Ellie again at least. Maybe this was a good thing.

(((**))

"Hey." Emma greeted and smiled, letting Sean inside her house that night.

"Hey."

He grinned to her blushing, amazed she could still feel a bit shy around him after all they've been through. She led him through the door to the tv room where it was dark and dim and some candles were lit all around. He blinked and stared a bit in awe.

She looked great too, wearing just black leggings and a loose off-the-shoulder white thin sweater. She looked comfy, yet still beautiful, and showing off enough to skin to make a guy wonder.

"The powers out, and my parents aren't home, but we can still manage I think." Emma explained and sat down on the couch.

Sean nodded, "Yea." He sat down next to her, and he looked around again, watching the candles light flicker and then glanced at Emma, getting lost in how beautiful she looked.

"Sean."

"What?" he smirked.

"You're staring." She teased and raised an eyebrow. He smirked wider and just leaned in, kissing her until she fell back onto the couch and kissed him back. That is, until she finally pulled away and snapped, "Focus!"

He laid on top and teased back, "I can't help it." He ran his fingers through her hair.

"Well I'm hungry, and I wanted to order pizza." She pouted.

He groaned. That sounded great. "You're perfect."

"And you're heavy." She swatted him playfully again to get off of her and he sat up.

"Fine." He pulled her up and she yelped but giggled as he picked her up. He picked her up so easily, like she was a twig and then placed her onto his lap and she held onto his strong biceps. He placed his hands on her hips now and asked while leaning his head back, "Better?"

After he asked the question, his grin slid off his face, now seeing the position he put them in and then swallowed when she too straddled his lap a bit when she shifted. She looked between them and then brushed a piece of her hair nervously behind her ear before locking eyes with him again.

"Yea." She admitted softly and eyed him for a reaction to that. He stiffened, in more places than one. Slowly, and surely, she leaned down, softly kissing him. She could sense he didn't mean to do that, but it was alright with her. It really was. She was kinda even into it. It shocked her too.

Sean tenderly kissed her back, but kept his hands firmly in place where they were. He didn't want to move too fast, but then she took his hands in hers and let them slid up her body.

"Em.." he drifted, while still kissing her and groaned when again she moved her body into his, and his hand on reflex began to feel up her body, up her shirt. It rested right on her breast.

Emma felt tingles over her body. She heard him groan a little bit into the kiss and knew why. Her body was making his body lose it. She felt it. He was hard as a rock. Emma pulled away a little to bite her lip, noticing the power she had over him. For once, she felt in control. It was amazing. It was empowering.

When his hands went back to her waist and her mouth found his way to his neck, he winced and nearly pulled away, "Em, maybe we shouldn't."

"I want to." She pulled away to again look at him and he looked up into her eyes.

"But we don't **need** to.."

Offended, she backed up a bit. "You don't want to?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Ofcourse I fucking want to." He sat up and she climbed off of him. He cursed when he noticed her look hurt. "You know I do, Emma." He said seriously, "But we shouldn't… I think. I don't know. I don't know how long you should wait before you-"

"Have sex after being raped?" Emma guessed and he flinched a bit. She said sarcastically, "Gee Sean, I don't know, maybe when you think you're with the right guy and you think he wants it too but I guess he doesn't and this was just a mistake and maybe you weren't the right guy-"

"Hey." He snapped. She shut up, not seeing that coming. He almost looked angry at her. "I **am** the right guy for you."

Her heart skipped a beat and her hazel eyes burned into his.

"But this can wait." Sean confirmed, looking around. "This isn't how I want it to be with us our first time together. Ok?"

Emma looked down but nodded. She understood, and somewhat was now thankful. Maybe on the couch their first time wasn't what she wanted either. "Ok."

Sean stood up to just bend down infront of Emma who sat still on the couch. He tangled his hands in hers and stared up into her eyes soulfully. "Don't ever second guess us again. Alright?"

Emma's eyes teared up and she tried to hide it but she snuffled. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "We're not a mistake."

"I know."

"Then don't ever say that again." He needed to know they were in this together. That they were going to stay together. Always.

"Ok."

Emma looked at him finally and they locked eyes before she leaned down and tenderly kissed him. He softly kissed her back, sliding his hand up to cup the side of her face. They pulled apart, leaning forehead to forehead with their eyes closed and enjoying the feel of closeness.

"When the time comes, it'll be good. It'll be better than good? Ok? In time."

Emma shrugged her shoulders with a nod and blush. He smiled softly and nodded back. He knew it was weird to talk about because they never did that stuff together before, but he was excited for their new relationship now. It'd come, soon, in time. When ready. And he meant what he said.. it'd be good; amazing.

Cause anything with Emma was amazing.

They ended up back on the couch, and ordered that pizza. Double cheese ofcourse. They put on a movie, and then cuddled up together to watch. As Emma dozed off, Sean caressed her hair, staring down at her and hoping that it was all going to be okay.

He needed it to be.


	15. I Want To Be With You

"CAMERON!" Mr Armstrong yelled at the end of practice. Sean was breathless and turned from Kyle Bates, nodding at him and walking over to his coach.

"Yea, coach?"

Armstrong watched his other baseketball players heading towards the locker room. He turned to Sean and lowered his voice, "Good hustle out there."

"Thanks." Sean commented.

"Now the game coming up next week? I want to talk to you about it.."

"Yea?"

"I've called a few friends of mine, to come see you play. I think you earned it." He saw Sean cringe and asked, "What is it?"

Sean shrugged his left shoulder slowly, "I don't know. Feels wrong, I mean, if someone were to get the scholarship, shouldn't it be someone whose been on the team for more than a year? Like Bates.. or hell, Spinner even."

"Scouts want who can play t **he best** , Sean. Not whose been playing the longest at _Degrassi."_

Sean lifted his eyebrows and couldn't fight Mr Armstrong on that. "Okay." He scratched the back of his neck and grinned so hard his dimples caved in. "Thanks coach."

In the locker room, Spinner was laughing and whipping Jimmy or any guy who walked by him with a towel.

"Grow up, man." Jimmy said with a vulgar look.

Sean has to chuckle as he shut his duffle bag up and glanced around at the guys he would now call his friends. "See yeah guys."

Spinner turned with Jimmy and called Sean back, "Going out to celebrate?"

Jimmy smirked, "Yea maybe you could take Emma out."

Sean tilted his head looking a bit confused, his shaped eyebrows furrowing together, "What?"

Spinner rolled his eyes to Jimmy and glanced back to Sean, "We know Armstrong has scouts coming for you." He then nodded with a small smile, "Congratulations."

"You deserve it." Jimmy insists, and hits Spinners stomach, "Not like this guy could ever catch the ball."

Spinner groaned from the hit but tried to bare a tight smile and nod. Sean just chuckled, nodding, and waved goodbye before he headed out.

Hmm, maybe he would take Emma out tonight. She'd love to hear good news for once.

(((**)))

"He wants to _wait?"_ the look on Manny's face made Emma giggle.

"He said **it** can wait. TIl I'm ready."

"But didn't you do it with Peter?" Manny hated to bring the douchebag up but had to. Emma nodded but shrugged.

"It wasn't really sex though." Emma gazed off, "I mean it was, but not real sex. It didn't mean anything, and it wasn't for.. _pleasure._ It was something else." Something dark.

Manny tried to pass Emma a small smile, "Its okay. We don't have to talk about that. Actually, lets talk about how happy you look lately!"

Emma blushed and rolled her eyes, sitting up from her spot beside Manny. They sat outside Degrassi on the fresh cut lawn and it was still a bright sunny day after school just got out. "I don't want to jinx it."

Manny just rolled her eyes also, smiling happily for her best friend. We all knew why Emma was looking happier these days and the hunk in a wife beater was making his way over.

"I'm sure 'pleasuring' won't be an issue for Sean."

"Manny!" Emma went red and darted her eyes between her friend and boyfriend who was getting rather close and in good earshot. Manny giggled madly.

"You think Sean could teach Jay how to lift?" Manny joked and Emma laughed.

Sean stopped when he reached the girls and eyed them down. They looked like their lips were sealed to whatever was so damn 'funny'. "You ready?" he asked Emma, digging into his jeans for his car keys.

Sean had gotten his own blue pick up truck. It was a piece of junk when somebody dropped it off at Tony's garage but Sean and Jay fixed it up. It ran pretty good and after a good paint job, it looked pretty new too.

"Yup." Emma said, putting her hand out when he reached for it and he pulled her up. Manny giggled when Emma helped pull her up next but Manny groaned trying to lift herself off the comfy lawn.

"What are you guys doing tonight?" Manny asked, following Emma and Sean to the parking lot.

Sean smirked a bit when Emma looked over at him, "It's a surprise." He caught Manny's look and rolled his eyes, "You and Jay can come though."

Manny squealed happily and clapped. "What is it? Party? Staying in? Out for dinner? I need to know what to wear."

"Just be.. Casual." Sean shrugged. The girls both gave him dirty looks. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

(((***)))

"So where we going, man?" Jay asked Sean in a low voice.

They stood at the front entrance of Emma's house, waiting for the girls. Sean changed into nice dark blue jeans and a button up black dress shirt with his wavy hair pushed slightly back. Jay looked pretty good too it his white dress shirt with jeans and a red tie. No hat!

"Rocco's."

Jay's eyes widened and he snapped in a whisper, "I can't afford that shit." He thought for a moment and winced, "maybe I'll pay for Manny's and just drink water."

Sean laughed and muttered, seeing the girls coming down the stairs, "It's on me, alright?"

Jay went to decline that offer but shut up midway when he saw the girls coming down and his mouth dropped.

Manny smiled first, seeing his eyes glued on her. She wore a tight black mini dress but her hair was in a beautiful double dutch braid.

She stopped infront of Jay and played with his tie, "Look at you. You clean up nice." She teased.

Emma followed behind Manny and took Sean's hand when he opened the door for them. She smirked a bit back at him as he couldn't wipe the grin off his face or stop his eyes from roaming up and down her body.

"You're staring." Emma mentioned sweetly. His fingers tangled in hers as he led her to his truck.

Emma wore a hip hugging strapless dress that was a very pale grey color. Too put it out there clearly, it framed her best assets. Her hair was in a nice casual almost messy French twist. Some of the hair that framed around her face were curled slightly loose.

"Well, I can't help it.." he stopped her by the passenger door, "You look really.." he looked for the word as his other hand lifted to graze his fingers on the side of her neck.

Emma's eyes sparkled in the moonlight as it was getting dark. She smiled with a blush rushing to her cheeks as he couldn't help but grin harder and harder, knowing what word he wanted to say.

He leaned closer, whispering how beautiful she looked and the two shared a slow, tender kiss. His hand moved more around the back of her neck and pulled her in more closely as they kissed deeper. Emma moved both her hands to cup his face and gave him all she had, showing all her love through one kiss and he hungrily accepted. Sean was panting by the end of it, nearly pushing Emma up against his truck and she moaned against the kiss when his hands went to her hips next.

"Um hello," Manny cut them off, walking over to them with Jay from behind, "We're still here."

"God get a room." Jay scoffed, opening the passanger door and Sean shared a look with Emma after they moved aside.

Emma laughed a little and followed behind Manny into the back seat. Sean was next, getting into the drivers spot and off they went for dinner. Emma tried to listen to the gossip Manny was trying to share but all she could do was catch the glances from the Sean in the rearview mirror. She smiled, looking down and played with her fingers.

She **really** wanted tonight to be the night. Spike and Snake were even out of town. Emma also had really good news to tell Sean, later, when they were alone.

((**))

Getting time alone wasn't a problem. The place Sean took them to was a fancy restaurant but he picked a spot on the patio that had beautiful lights lit up and soft music playing but Manny was acting as if the mosquitos were coming after her with a vengeance. Her and Jay decided to go inside but Sean and Emma stayed out.

Emma giggled, sipping her water. "You knew I'd love this, didn't you?"

Sean smirked nodding, and just finished his main course. He rubbed his stomach and took a deep breath, "Yes, I did."

A beautiful restaurant, outside, beautiful view, nice music, romantic lights? A candle even sat between them! Emma was puddy right now.

"What was this for anyways?" Emma asked, eyeing him.

Sean took Emma's hand that laid by her water. They tangled their fingers together and he just shrugged, "I wanted us to do something normal for once. I never did take you on a real good date."

"I liked our lame horrible dates." Emma joked, "They were really memorable." As she laughed, he smiled back at her. Emma then remembered something and gasped, "I have something to tell you."

Sean looked confused, then concerned. "What is it, Em?"

She sat up and smiled more, "Something good. Mom and Snake obviously know we're back together.."

Sean laughed as he circled his thumb around the outside of Emma's hand. "I conjured that up when I saw Snake's genuine smiles turn into cornered shifty eyes last week."

Emma laughed and kicked him playfully under the table, "I'm trying to tell you something!"

Sean tried to go serious and nodded, "Okok . What?"

"It was Snakes idea actually. He knows you're still living by yourself. . " she drifted, "So he talked to my mom and they offered for you to move in. You know, if you wanted to. Until college. So you could save more money."

Sean's mouth parted in shock. He was **not** expecting that. "Em.."

She looked a bit nervous now, not sure how to take the look on his face. She tried to explain, "I thought since buying your truck, you might be in a bit of debt now. I know welfare only gives you so much now that you're working at Tony's too and it's not easy still with finishing your last year of school. But then, there's college…so maybe moving in with us will help you save up for that-"

"I love you so much, Em."

Emma's eyes widened a bit at Sean's blurted out words. She then nodded and smiled sweetly, "I love you too."

Sean looked down and shook his head before looking back up desperately, "No Em, like.. **seriously,** whipped, _ball and chain_ \- whatever way you wanna put it. I love you, honestly. I've never loved anyone like I love you."

Emma grinned and nodded, "Yea. **I know.** " She raised a cheeky eyebrow at him and then teased, leaning forward, "I sorta love you just as much."

"Yea?" he asked even hopefully. She giggled and tightened her hand in his. He then exhaled, not knowing he wasn't breathing for a moment there. He sat up and finally confessed, "I got news too. Armstrong has scouts coming to watch **me** play."

Emma actually shot her hand out from his to clap excitingly, "Really?" she then cooed, "Sean this is great.."

"Yea, it is. I'm going to graduate, I got my girl back, got back on the basketball team. And I might get a scholarship- me! Sean Cameron." He then eyed Emma up and down, "..And I get to live with my hot girlfriend.."

Emma got up as he did and he wrapped her into his arms with a charming smirk. "You won't regret it." Emma promised.

"Didn't think I would." He said back. They shared a kiss and he pulled away slowly to whisper playfully, "Do they really expect me to sleep on the couch orr…."

Emma giggled and admitted, "Snakes already pulled out the sofa couch for you.." she then leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "But me and mom talked about it, and.. .there's 'rules' if you do decide to sneak downstairs .."

Sean nearly groaned in agony and Emma giggled harder before wrapping her arms around his neck.

The rest of the night was great. After dropping Jay and Manny off, Emma and Sean bursted into Emma's house kissing madly. Emma dropped her purse as Sean kicked the door with his foot closed. His lips lingered on hers and she panted from the heavy making out.

With her arms still around his neck, she pulled away to catch her breath and he closed his eyes, loving the feel of her, and rested his forehead against hers.

Emma finally whispered, "I don't want to wait, Sean. I want to be with you. Tonight."

Sean opened his eyes and hers locked on his heatedly. He gulped.

How in the hell could he say no to **that?**


	16. Ofcourse I Want More

" **He said NO again?!"**

Emma giggled to Manny's hysterical shock. Her best friend sat across from her at the Dot the next week. The blonde blushed, "We did… _other_ stuff..and things."

Manny paused. She was okay with that. " **But** not the **big** thing?"

"No." Emma started to laugh a little more as she admitted, "He's taking a lot of cold showers since he's moved in."

Manny decided to get in on the laughter too, and the girls giggled some more as the Dot's front door opened and Manny's eyes caught onto the people who just walked in; Jimmy and Ellie.

Ellie glanced between the girls on her way to the counter, but her smile lured down at the blonde. "Hey Emma."

Emma had stopped laughing from her seat and looked up, clearing her throat and baring a smile back, "Hey Ellie."

Manny couldn't help but let her eyes follow the couple go to the counter to order some food. She squinted her eyes a bit and noticed Ellie too look back at them. Emma was too distracted to notice as she whispered to Manny, "So weird they're dating now.."

Manny looked back at Emma and couldn't help but say, "So weird that you talk to her."

Emma paused and shrugged, "Why not?"

"Cause she's Sean's ex. She's Ellie Nash."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I've never had a problem with her."

"Maybe it's just me, but I'd never trust my boyfriends ex."

"Manny, they broke up last year and she looks pretty over him." She pointed at Ellie who was kissing Jimmy's cheek and he was grinning like the joker.

"If you say so." Manny muttered under her breath. She looked over at the door when the bell rang again by somebody's entrance and as if it was perfect timing, it was Sean. Manny snuck a glance back at Ellie and she knew she saw something when the redhead tore her mouth away from Jimmy's and her eyes locked on Sean. It even stirred Manny's stomach a bit.

"Hey gorgeous." Sean greeted Emma, pulling up a chair to her side across from Manny and gave Emma a kiss on the temple before he sat down.

Emma was sipping her drink but smirked from her straw and glanced at Manny. She noticed her friend in a trance and turned her head to see what she was looking at. Emma too then caught Ellie's stare at them but the redhead quickly caught her glance, smiled, and looked away. Manny turned her head to look at Emma, hoping she noticed that but Emma just shrugged and turned back to Sean.

Manny couldn't believe it. Was Emma blind or was she over thinking this? She tried not to stir drama and just smiled between her happy friends across from her.

"How was work?" Manny asked Sean.

He nodded, "Good."

"Working hard or hardly working?'

Sean chuckled, stealing some of Emma's fries and then her actual drink in her **hand.** "Hey!" Emma gasped with a smile.

He chuckled and finished swallowing his water, but as he did, his eyes locked on Ellie's whose stare was back on him. His stomach dropped and he looked away quickly before back at Emma and cleared his throat. "Want to get out of here?" he whispered to her.

Emma opened her mouth, glanced at Manny and furrowed her eyebrows, "Well..we just got here."

Sean kept looking down and just nodded, seeming as if he just shut down. When they asked him questions, he seemed distracted. His palms even felt sweaty. He knew he was still under Ellie's stare and his perfect, unknowing girlfriend was right next to him.

"Sean!" Emma said for the third time and shared a look with Manny as he snapped out of it and looked between them.

"Yea?"

"The basketball game tomorrow. Are you ready?" Manny asked again slowly but before he could even answer, another voice chimed in.

"He sure is. We both are." Jimmy stood above them, his hand in Ellie's. Manny glanced up and eyed between them. She could see the happiness in Jimmy's eyes to be with Ellie, but with Ellie…it didn't seem like anything.

Sean on reflex inched closer to Emma before nodding up at Jimmy but passed Ellie a warnful glance. The small smirk Ellie passed him just made his gut turn and head hang low again.

"Emma," Ellie said and Sean's heart began to pound. The blonde glanced up at her and she asked, "You'll be there right? Maybe we could sit together." She laughed a bit, "I don't really think Marco would enjoy watching a basketball game."

Manny taunted quietly, "Too bad you couldn't ask Ashley. Oh wait.."

The table was silent and you could cut the tension with a knife. Emma gave Manny a darted look but Ellie held a firm tight smile at the brunette, "I don't think you have room to talk Manny. You had sex with her ex boyfriend when she was dating him and impregnated yourself. On my behalf, Jimmy had broken up with her before we started to date or let things escalate and I sincerely apologized to her. It was the best thing we could do even if she couldn't forgive us. At least I didn't do what **you** did.."

Emma could tell both girls were ready to jump another. She sucked in a deep breath and turned to Sean, "Ok! Lets go. "

Sean nodded just as eagerly and got up. He put his hand on the back of Emma's back and led her towards the door while Jimmy hollered after them, "See you at the game!"

(((*)))

"Are you okay?"

Sean looked away from the movie Emma bugged him to watch. I guess it didn't even matter since he couldn't pay attention. They laid down in her room watching some chick movie while her family was out for dinner and he couldn't even enjoy alone time with his girlfriend. All he could think about was what if she found out? What if she left him? Hated him again?

Emma looked up at him so concerned. He felt his heart drop and he wanted to tell her. He opened his mouth but she put her finger up, "Wait," she cut him off and sat up to face him. She raised a skeptical eyebrow down at him and Sean began to get hot and nervous. "Is this about…the other night?"

Sean furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion before he then let out a small laugh and shook his head, "No."

Emma tilted her head, "So you weren't.. wierded out?"

Sean tried to hold his grin back, rolling his eyes at her, "Why would I get wierded out that my girl friend gave me head-"

Emma put her hand over his mouth, "Don't say it like that. It's so vulgar." She then yelped when his strong hands just grabbed her hips to move her right onto his lap. She then laughed a little with a blush.

Sean caressed her hair behind her ear and promised, "The other night was the closest I've ever felt to you."

Emma bit her lip but nodded, looking down though she asked, "But you didn't want to..I don't know, do more?"

Sean nearly cringed, "Em, ofcourse I want more.."

The movie that was playing had come to an end, the end credits rolling and playing the song 'For You I will' by some Teddy guy. It was corny, but the lyrics seemed to relate to him and Emma and he couldn't help but let his eyes admire her. She wore a simple white tank top, no bra under, yet her chest still supple and firm as she straddled on top of him. To top it, she wore these small black yoga shorts that Sean was sure he could rip off in a matter of two seconds. Without being able to hold himself back anymore, and with her basically egging him on, how could he keep resisting? It was after all more for her than himself. The last thing he wanted her to think was that he didn't _want_ her.

He reached up to pull her down to him and kissed her tenderly then more and more hungrily. He pulled away as he sighed breathlessly "I want you Em, I'm just worried I won't be worth it for you. I don't want you to regret it."

Emma sighed as he began to kiss up the side of her neck. "Sean," she gasped. She felt his hands wonder just as they did the other night. It felt like jolts of electricity were racing straight through her body. How could he think he wouldn't be worth it? His touch made her feel like she was on fire and in heaven at the same time.

The lights were already dim in the room from watching the movie but they could see another clearly. Sean's eyes stared hard at hers as he started gently tugging her tank-top up and slowly moved it over her breasts, revealing her beautiful globes. She wasn't a little girl anymore. His eyes moved away from hers to stare down at the beautiful woman she had become.

He slid his hand up her bare smooth stomach and then over her bare breasts as she finished the job and threw her shirt off before looking back at him.

Now naked in all her glory, Emma moaned his name as he had leaned up and held her hips tight as his mouth went to one of her hard nipples . Her breathing had increased, and her body leaned more into him. She loved feeling how hard he was getting from under her too, just by her body and moans.

Her soft manicured fingers ran through his wavy hair as he sucked and playfully bit time to time. She gripped his hair sexily each time he flicked his tongue on the right spot.

He had flipped her over so he could lay on top now and he ripped his shirt off next, and he let her nails trace down his firm chest and abs. Still staring into another's eyes, Emma spread her legs more for one of his curious hands as it slid down her body, into the waistband of her shorts and underneath the fabric of her panties.

As Sean's talented fingers went to work, Emma panted and cried in pleasure as he thrusted them in and out of her deeply but in good motion. She pressed her chest up to his, resuming their kiss, and her hands went to his jeans to unzip his pants eagerly. He kissed her harder, and groaned into her mouth as her hand started to pump up and down his hard aching shaft.

"Jesus, EM." He grunted, pulling away to clench his eyes shut in pleasure and need. After stroking him for another minute or so, Sean had to stand up and he removed his jeans in urgency. Emma had to giggle a little as she slowly stood up as well from the bed, stopping infront of him and placed her thumbs inside her shorts, pushing them and her panties to the ground. Sean stared in bliss before following suit, pushing his boxers down and his cock sprung free and he grabbed her with need into his arms.

Face-to-face, bodies pressed together, Sean bent down and moved his lips straight to hers. It was magic. Her lips moved against his and soon their tongues were dancing together. He then moved his hands down her body and squeezed her ass a little. As she moaned against the kiss, he growled against her mouth.

With his big triceps, he picked her up, throwing her back onto the bed like she weighed nothing and pinned her down.

With a gasp, Sean was already pushing his member deep inside her, pulling her leg up to rest against his waist. Emma and Sean locked eyes and she nodded, needing it and needing him.

Her eyes widened more when he pushed more inside and she clenched his muscular shoulders. She let a little painful cry out but it was replaced with pleasure at his next thrust. Then repeat. He huskily whispered in her ear, "Worth it?"

She moaned and panted. "You feel so good."

"I love you, Em."

She ran her hand down his cheek, "I love you too. I trust you, more than anybody, Sean."

Sean continued to make love to her but he swallowed and tried to shake off that bad feeling that ran through him when she said she trusted him. He thought to himself, tomorrow, he'd tell her about Ellie and all the weird stuff. But after the big game. He had to focus on that first for the scouts. .

After they made love, Sean softly caressed Emma's hair as she slept. He smirked a bit to her sleeping soundly and how completely exhausted she was. He too was spent. Their first time was amazing. Their chemistry, their magic, everything went as it should.

A vibration at his side made Sean frown and glance away from Emma and over his shoulder. Sitting on his night table was his phone and his stomach turned as it buzzed with a text.

'Don't be her.' He thought, picking up his phone and looking at the text he received just now. Who would be texting him at 2 am?

He sighed in relief when it was just his Bell Mobility telling him he went over his data limit. He chuckled quietly to himself but then his grin turned into a deep frown.

Sean clenched his teeth and turned his phone off completely before sitting up and looking around the room. He glanced sadly at Emma sleeping by his side, cuddled into her blankets, naked under the covers. She was so beautiful, and clueless to what he had done and was scared of her finding out.

But maybe this text was a sign. Maybe this whole Ellie thing was done and could be put to rest. She was happy with Jimmy now and she would now leave him and Emma alone. Hopefully. Hell, her and Emma even seemed to be getting along now but Sean did **not** want to know why or how. He just hoped at the game Ellie would watch what she said.

Sean laid back down and Emma turned in her sleep, letting him spoon her from behind and pull her into his arms before he too drifted to sleep with his arms wrapped around her tightly.

He never wanted to lose her again.


	17. You Don't Mean It

"You ready for the game tonight, Sean?"

Sean sat at the Nelson/Simpson dining table for breakfast and smirked up at Snake who laid down a plate of pancakes, "Yea, Mr S."

Emma sat next to baby Jack, picking up the spoon he had thrown at her for the third time. "Stop it, Jack." Emma giggled, giving it back to him.

Spike laughed next to Emma before she bit into her pancakes then asked Sean, "Is it true they are giving you guys a drug test before the finals?"

Sean went to pick up his drink of water to pause and his eyebrows furrowed, "Drug test?" he repeated.

Snake nodded as he turned, "Yea, Lakehurst was caught with a few guys taking steroids, and other narcotics." He rolled his eyes, "So they are making all the schools in Ontario do it."

Sean blinked, "Oh." He then shrugged, "Well, that's fine." He shared a smile with Emma.

She rolled her eyes still smiling, "Like you'd have to worry about _that."_

Sean grinned more as he swallowed his water, glancing around at Emma's parents who nodded in agreement. They knew Sean would never be into that kind of stuff but it felt so good knowing that they knew that. Sean felt..well, happy. Belonged.

"Ready?" Sean asked Emma after breakfast. He came from behind her as she was washing the last plate and she laughed softly as he kissed the back of her neck and gripped her hips.

Emma winced and looked over her shoulder, "I actually have a session with Sauve first period, but not for another hour. You can go without me though? I don't mind."

"You sure you don't want a ride?" Sean knew it looked clingy, but he didn't want to go to school without her. He didn't like going anywhere really without her.

"My mom will drive me." Emma assured and laughed, "You can live without me for an hour or two."

He sighed deeply, "I guess so."

She giggled watching him go. She sighed happily, turning back to the sink.

(((**))))

When Sean got to school, he grinned, pushing a daisy flower halfway into Emma's locker so she'd see it on her way over.

Manny came over just as Spinner was passing and they both noticed it to smirk and share a look with another. "Really?" Manny teased.

Sean turned to them. He chuckled and itched the back of his head.

"Man, you are whipped." Taunted Spinner, shaking his head and grinning like mad.

Sean shrugged and crossed his arms, "So what?"

Spinner then frowned and muttered, "yea.." guess that was true. Damn, he missed having a girlfriend now.

Manny giggled and patted Spinner's back as the bell rang, "Lets get to class you guys." Sean nodded and followed behind them, glancing back at Emma's locker one last time and hoping she got here soon.

In the distance, Ellie had walked around the corner and came up to Emma's locker, glancing at the flower stuck to it from Sean.

(((**)))

At lunch, Emma and Sean met up at the cafeteria for once and Manny sat there with her other cheerleader friends Mia and Darcy.

"We've got this new cheer worked out for tonight!" Manny said with excitement in her voice.

Emma nodded, trying to smile and be excited for her but she didn't get the whole 'cheerleaders' thing. I mean, Sean was her man, and she'd root for him.. but a whole squad of girls only dancing and rooting for a team of guys? Was that really a sport? And why not cheer for a girls basketball team too? It was kind of sexist if you asked Emma.

Sean stifled a laugh as he ate a hot dog he got from the lunch lady. Emma dug her elbow into his stomach for mocking her, since he knew her smiles were forced ones.

Darcy gasped and said to Manny, "Maybe we should wait to do the new cheers at the finales."

"But that's two more games away," pouted Mia, "I practiced really hard on the new flip."

"She makes a good point though." Manny admitted towards Darcy, "Tonight, we'll keep it casual! We'll do the new cheers at the finales. That is if we win it tonight."

Mia turned her head to Sean and tilted her head with one of her winning smiles, "We'll win, won't we Sean?"

This time Emma gave Sean a mocking gesture, " _Won't we, Sean?"_

Sean loved hearing the jealousy in Emma's tone. It was so damn cute. He only had eyes for her though and just nodded at Mia and the girls. The girls then went back to gossiping about their day and Sean shared a quick playful kiss with Emma who rolled her eyes but laughed.

When Darcy saw Spinner going by with Jimmy and Ellie on Jimmy's arm, she spoke up. "Good luck tonight, Spin!"

Manny and Mia giggled together, knowing of Darcy's crush on Spinner. He grinned like a goof as he stopped at the table and nodded, "Thanks Darc."

Jimmy and Ellie stopped at the table with him carrying their lunch. Meanwhile, Darcy blushed at the nickname Spin gave her and then flirted back, "We were just talking about how you guys are definitely going to win tonight." She gestured towards the table to her friends and Sean.

Sean glanced up at them and then glanced back twice when he noticed something familiar in Ellie's hair. Emma even noticed and commented, "Nice flower."

Ellie casually looked over at them to gasp and reply, "oh! Thanks. It's a daisy."

Emma nodded slowly. Yea. She wasn't dumb. It was also one of her favorites.

Meanwhile, Sean's fists clenched and Emma noticed him tense beside her. She even looked over and gave him a weird look as Ellie spoke up and pulled Jimmy along, "Well, lets get going! You guys need your lunch for the big game." She teased.

Spinner nodded and waved goodbye before following them.

"I'll be right back." Sean nearly growled and got up, leaving even as Emma looked downright confused and watched him storm off until out of site. She and Manny shared a look but Emma tried to shake it off.

(((*)))

Ellie was at her locker before next period. She grabbed her books and closed her locker with a slight smile on her lips as she turned to then gasp and be pulled into an empty classroom.

"Sean." She said, a bit shocked but happy, smiling more and he began to pace the room as he slammed the door shut behind her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked Ellie after a moment of struggling with his emotions.

Ellie's mouth fell and she stopped closer, putting a hand on his arm, "Is this about Jimmy?" she asked softly.

Sean's mouth hung and he shook his head at Ellie like she was some nut case.

"He doesn't mean anything to me-"

"He should!" Sean bellowed and then tried to lower his voice and raised his hands up to explain, "He is your _boyfriend."_

Ellie rolled her eyes, "You know you mean more to me-"

" **I don't want you**!" Sean had enough. "I am with Emma. **Emma**."

Ellie's eyes went dark and her face dropped. "You don't mean that."

Sean snickered in disbelief as the late bell went. He couldn't take anymore and stormed past her, whipping the door open so hard the wind blew her hair back a bit. She jumped when he slammed the door behind him and left her there alone.

She raised her fingers to her daisy in her hair, stroking it softly.

(((((((((((((******))))))))))

That night, Emma and even her family were in the stands for Sean. Degrassi was against Lakehurst tonight and it was huge. Whoever won tonight went to finales. But also, the scouts were here tonight so if Degrassi didn't make it into the finales, at least they'd see Sean play today.

"I see them." Emma squealed happily next to her mom as she spotted the scouts here to watch Sean. "I'm going to go find him before the game starts."

Spike nodded and held Baby Jack who even wore a matching Degrassi jersey with Snake. Snake was chowing down a big pretzel.

The bleachers were getting crowded and everybody was coming in from outside. Emma skipped down the bleachers and squeezed out of the gym and towards the locker room where a lobby was and Sean stood there with Jay and Manny.

"There you are!" Manny said, standing in her cheerleading uniform.

"Can't believe I had to come to this." Jay said, rolling his eyes.

Sean chuckled and wrapped his arm around Emma's waist, pulling her into him. "Thanks for the support man." He said sarcastically to Jay for his grin to then drop when he noticed Jimmy come in with Ellie. Ellie kissed Jimmy's cheek while locking eyes with Sean and then went towards the gym as Jimmy went into the locker room.

"Well, Good luck Cam." Jay tried his hardest to be supportive. Manny giggled and then asked Emma, "Can he sit with you and Snake?"

Emma glanced from her to Jay and taunted, "If he's on his best behavior."

Manny warned Jay playfully next, "Now you're going to listen to Emma and do what she says until I get back." As if on cue, a buzzer went off.

Sean groaned, "I got to go." He told Emma and she kissed him for good luck.

"They're sitting in row 3, just so you know." She whispered and then smiled before guiding Jay back to her parents inside the gym. Sean stood there and blinked. Wow. Scouts really here for him. He then snapped out of it and walked towards the locker room to quickly get ready.

As his team was dressed and ready, some left the changeroom to go warm up and Sean could hear the crowd outside cheering. He couldn't help but eye Jimmy across from him though as they were both tying their shoes and one of the last ones in the locker room.

They were alone, and it was now or never.

"Jimmy," he paused for a long moment and then finally spoke, "We need to talk."

Jimmy glanced up and stopped tying his shoe, "Yea." He could tell it was serious, "What's up?"

Sean swallowed and bit his tongue. "It's about Ellie."

First, Jimmy's eyes squinted. "Yeah?"

"….I think.." Sean sighed and looked down before cursing under his breath. He got up and tried to put it lightly, "I just think she might be using you."

Something flashed in Jimmy's eyes. He stood up and repeated with a raw tone, "Using me?"

".. Yeah."

Jimmy went to think about it and then laughed. "Oh I get it. To make you jealous?" he pointed, "You think she's not over you?"

Sean furrowed his eyebrows. "Man I'm not saying-"

"Does Emma know you have this weird imagination of my girlfriend still pining over you?"

Sean clenched his jaw. Of fucking course Jimmy wouldn't believe him. "Jimmy I'm just trying to warn you-"

"You know, I thought we were cool bro." Jimmy pointed at him warningly, "Don't come up to me again with this shit tonight."

Sean's mouth opened but he closed it with tight nod. "Fine." Atleast Sean knew he tried. But Jimmy just snickered as if this was some joke and stormed off, leaving the locker room.

When Sean exited the locker room, the cheers were even louder then what he heard from inside the change rooms and it seemed to get louder when he came out. He caught Emma's smile through the crowd and couldn't help but softly grin back. She was the calm in his storm.

A whistle blew and Sean went to go catch up with his team but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Ellie sitting with Emma and her family.

What. The . . hell.


	18. The Rest Has Always Been Meaningless

Emma gave Sean's arm a love squeeze as she latched onto him while they walked. "Sean you won! You should be more excited. You guys are in the finales!"

Sean miserably followed Jay and Manny into the after party at Jimmy's. Apparently, Ellie had invited Emma during the game and Emma really wanted to celebrate… much to Sean's disagreement.

Sean stopped and pulled Emma back, letting their friends go into the party. Jimmy's party was so loud inside that they could feel the music vibrating.

"I just want to go home, with you." Sean whispered to her.

Emma was confused and shook her head, "Why don't you want to celebrate with your team?"

Sean clenched his jaw and turned around slowly as he thought long and hard about what to say but Emma lost her patience and smiled, shaking her head.

"Lets go." She pulled him, even if he was a little reluctant.

Once inside Jimmy's house, Sean went straight for the booze, walking by Jimmy himself and Ellie who both stared him down at the other side of the party. Sean rolled his eyes, hiding in the kitchen and Emma and his friends followed. Jay carried his own Captain Morgan.

"Man, I miss highschool." Jay joked and Manny giggled beside him. He turned and poured a shot for her since she held a glass out.

Sean watched Emma open her beer and eyed her closer as she sipped it slowly. She was trying to have fun. It had been a while since they had this kind of fun but things still weren't 'normal'. Around Ellie Nash, things _couldn't_ be normal.

"Can we go talk?" Sean asked quietly, walking to Emma and put a hand on her side.

He guided her out after she nodded. She was unsure as to why he was acting so weird lately though. She followed him to the back yard and when Sean closed the back door, he cringed when he turned towards Emma but saw the pool behind her. A horrible flashback of him and Ellie clouded his mind.

"Em.." he choked.

Emma tilted her head and finally went to Sean, cupping his face. He couldn't even look her in the eye. "Sean, what is up with you?" she softly asked with worry in her eyes.

Sean opened his mouth but then they both pulled away when the back door opened and out came Jimmy. He held a beer bottle and looked a little drunk. He looked up, while pealing his shirt off, and he laughed a bit.

"Sorry guys, didn't know you were out here."

Sean sized Jimmy up and down. Jimmy just gave him a crooked grin and raised his beer as if to say 'cheers'. He then gazed at the pool and back at Sean, "Look, I don't want to kick out you outta here..but Ellie wants us to get in the pool and . .. you know."

Emma got Jimmy's hint right away and just took Sean's hand, going to lead him in but when they went in, Ellie was coming out and Sean stopped dead in his tracks when she blocked his way. She smirked, and just looked over his shoulder to Emma.

"You guys want to swim?" Ellie asked Emma, but glanced back at Sean with a wider smirk.

Sean saw red. He knew Ellie was taunting him. He tried to keep his cool but gritted his teeth and he must of clenched his fists because Emma gasped a little since he held one of her hands. He looked back apologetically but then Ellie cut him off again. "Another time." She moved out of their way and went out to the pool to meet up with Jimmy.

((**))

Sean was driving them home and they sat in silence. Emma couldn't help but glance over in the darkness from the passanger side to look at him. Sean looked all sorts of flustered. Both his hands were clenched around the wheel, eyes hard on the road.

Emma sat up a little taking a deep shakey breath and she then looked out the window. She couldn't help but admit out loud when she glanced back at him, "You're scaring me."

Sean turned his head to look at her, his eyes a little wide, and his mouth now gaping open.

Never had Emma Nelson been afraid of him before…

"Emma." He licked his lips and winced. He sighed and focused back on the road. "I.. .I just don't want to go to any more parties. I don't want to be 'friends' with Jimmy and I don't want **you** being friends with **Ellie.** "

"Is that actually what this is about?" Emma laughed in disbelief.

She squinted her eyes at Sean who looked nothing but serious right now. She shook her head and could feel the bad vibes running through her.

"Why?" Emma asked, her voice hardening. She sat to face him fully, wanting him to look her in the eye. She could only think the worse. What if he wasn't over Ellie? Had he done something behind her back with Ellie? Was he jealous? What was it? ?

He glanced back over and gave her a weird look, "Why, what?"

"Why don't you want me hanging around her?" Emma asked pointedly.

He rolled his eyes and snapped back, "It's not like **that.** "

"Then why can't we hang out?" He could even hear her voice crack and his heart broke a little. He glanced back at her, and saw it, the tears she was trying to hold back but wouldn't show him. Not completely.

Sean's eyes casted downwards in guilt and then back up at the road to park into her driveway. When he parked, they sat in more silence. Emma continued facing him, still glaring him down and trying to hold her tears in.

"Are you not over her?"

Sean looked at Emma in shock, but with how he was acting, maybe he couldn't blame her for thinking that. "That's not it, Em."

Emma finally let a tear shed but quickly pushed it away. She would not let Sean Cameron hurt her again. But she could tell, she could **feel** it. Something was off with him, and it was breaking her heart to pieces. She loved him, but if he had done something, or had ruined her trust again- she didn't think she could do this again.

"Did you cheat on me?"

"No! Emma, no."

Emma swallowed by the sincerity in his voice. He was firm, and sounded as if he couldn't believe she'd think that. But then there was something else.. . Something he still seemed worried to confess. He once again, couldn't look at her. She still wasn't convinced.

"But. .." he drifted off, his hands gripping his steering wheel even though the car was off. Nervous habit.

"But **what**?" Emma sat still in the painful silence. "Say it you coward!"

"We slept together." He finally blurted it out, turning around to face her and his own tears burning in his eyes. "Me and Ellie. Emma, it _ **shouldn't**_ of happened. It was before me and you got back together. It meant **nothing.** It makes me sick thinking about it. I-It was my first night back on the basketball team…at Jimmy's party…" he choked on his words.

Emma looked distraught. She couldn't even find her own words. He watched in agony as she gazed away from him, looking as if she was thinking but then she closed her eyes and painfully laughed..

"We were just about back together then, Sean. I was the one who pushed you to go back on the team."

He explained as quick as he could, leaning closer and trying to grab her hand but she yanked her hand out of his. He looked stunned and hurt by her reaction. "Em, It was after we fought about you not going to your therapy sessions. You were with Peter still! I thought we were over."

Emma's eyes blazed with fire as she yelled at him, "I was never with Peter! Peter was some sick thing I used when feeling self-destructive. You dated Ellie for months! Years! You even _lived_ with her! A-and I **came** to that game, I remember!" She then cringed and almost felt sick to her stomach as she backed a little more towards the door, away from Sean. "You told me you loved me the next day." Her eyes widened as she put the pieces together.

He stared back at her, speechless, but looking desperate. Emma turned to get out of the car and he tried to grab her to stop her. "Emma. Wait."

His hands went rogue, doing anything he could to make her stay and listen to him.

"Let me go!"

"Just let me explain-"

Emma got the door open and got out of there as soon as she could but Sean had raced out even faster behind her, as if she was his life line. "Em- Emma!" he grabbed her as she almost made it to the front door of her house.

"Don't touch me, Sean! Let me go!"

" **I love you."** He cupped her face, determined. His eyes poured the very emotion he spoke of as he stared into her eyes. Her eyes did nothing but cry though. "I love _everythin_ g about you. About us." He whispered, "You're the only thing that matters to me. The rest has always been meaningless."

Emma choked on her tears and her head shook slowly in his hands, "I told you I trusted you."

"You can, Em." He pleaded, "Please. She did this. She lied to me, she tricked me-" Emma shoved him away from her angrily when he said that.

"Oh did she, Sean?" she spat, tears down her cheeks. "You didn't have a choice to say no? It was all her? Evil Ellie **tricked** you?"

He stepped forward with a hopeless look in his eyes, "I know you don't believe me. I know I've ruined your trust **again,** and it kills me. But Emma, you don't understand, she's been acting crazy, okay? It's scaring the shit out of me."

"Poor you." Emma said with a numb look on her face now. She snickered, and he stood there so frozen like. She taunted with squinted eyes, "Always the victim, aren't you Sean?"

His mouth hung and his eyebrows furrowed with hurt. When she turned to walk back into his house he said seriously, "I love you."

She turned back from the front door that she had opened. She tossed him a bleak look back. "You don't love anything but yourself."

The door slammed closed behind her and Sean's heart tore in half.


	19. What If Ellie Does Something?

Sean dragged himself into school the next following Monday. Emma hadn't returned his texts, or calls. He respected her space and so was staying with Jay but even Jay was kind of quiet with him. Maybe he knew Sean didn't want to talk about it, or maybe Jay was even a little on Emma's side. Manny sure as hell was. She wouldn't even come over to Jay's now that she knew Sean was there… Emma must of told her. And by the looks of it, now everyone knew.

Sean narrowed his eyes to a few people who passed him, whispering to another and he heard his name. He sighed and walked to his locker, rubbing his exhausted eyes.

He opened his locker as a figure stopped next to him. It's like he felt her presence and chills ran up his spine.

"Sorry about the break up, Sean." He turned to look at her. Ellie shrugged with a small smile but then jumped when Sean slammed his locker closed. She looked scared for once, and he glared spitefully at her, turning towards her and taking a dangerous step closer to her.

Another figure went behind Ellie and it was Jimmy. He let out a cackle as he rested his shoulder against the locker and his other arm around Ellie. "Now I get it." Jimmy told Sean.

Ellie just sized Sean up and down. He was nearly shaking with how angry he looked. He clenched his jaw and tried to hold himself back.

Jimmy continued, "Ellie told me everything." He said, "So what you guys had some one night stand? It's over. You gotta stop texting her too, man."

"What the fuck have you been telling him?" Sean barked, now stepping threateningly closer to Ellie until Jimmy moved infront of her protectively.

"You're scaring her." Jimmy warned, "If you don't back off.. it **won't** be pretty."

Sean snickered in disbelief, and for a moment, thought the fight would be worth it. But then he locked eyes with Jimmy, and he saw it. Ellie had just messed with his head. He was just another victim. With one seriously firm gaze, Sean said quietly, "You're going to find out she's not what you think she is and it's going to be too late."

Over Jimmy's shoulder, Ellie's eyes squinted coldly at Sean who just barely glanced at her and carelessly turned, walking away.

"Sean." Ellie got angry when Sean didn't stop, and kept walking down the hail. " **SEAN!"** she walked around Jimmy. Jimmy stood there for a moment, letting Sean's words sink in but shook his head. He had to be wrong. Ellie said she loved _him_ , not Sean. But then why did it feel off? How come Sean didn't even put up a fight for the girl he 'loved'? And why was Ellie chasing after _him_?

Sean ignored Ellie more than happily, walking down the middle of the hall even as she tried to scream his name and it echoed through the hall. Everyone turned and glanced but at the end of the hall Sean noticed the only girl he cared for had showed up to school, and she heard the echo of his name too.

Ellie panted a little in the hallway. She then swallowed and glanced around in a slight panic. Everyone was staring at her. Even Miss Suave who stepped out of her office, tilting her head at Ellie in concern.

Sean couldn't move. His eyes soared as he looked at Emma who had turned around while standing next to Darcy and Manny. Ofcourse her close friends were glaring daggers right at him, but Emma still looked… _blank._ It worried the hell out of him. She did seem off though, maybe exhausted as well about everything that had happened. He wondered if she was up all night too the past few days. He hated that he was putting her through this but as selfish as it might seem, he wanted her to understand it meant nothing with Ellie and just take him back. He needed her. His life was falling apart.

Ellie then noticed Emma too standing just a few feet beyond Sean and she then found the perfect words to drive more of a wedge between Emma and Sean. "Emma, I'm sorry. It should of never happened."

Emma locked eyes with Sean first. He was dead silent. His eyes pleading though. Emma looked away from him and then locked eyes with Ellie. Ellie gave her a sad pitied look. Hoping she had Emma wrapped around her finger, she was shocked when Emma just turned away with no emotion to share with Ellie. Ellie was hoping for more, and it angered her a little that she got nothing from Emma.

The bell rang and everyone moved forward to get to class and the rest of the day they gossiped about what just happened. That, or they talked about the finale game this week. Today they were even taking the drug tests for the basketball teams.

"Spinner, Joshua, and Sean please." Sean looked up in math class when he heard his name. Mr Armstrong pointed them out into the hall. They followed him to the nurses office next.

"Fuck man," Spinner whispered to Sean on the way, looking nervous and sweating a little. "I smoked a J last weekend. Do you think they will be able to tell?"

Sean sighed and rolled his eyes, dragging his feet to follow. He didn't even want to be here right now much less have time to worry for Spinner's shit.

"You're fine." He muttered.

Spinner nodded but was still a bit nervous. "Hey!" he then remembered something, "Did you really cheat on Emma?"

Sean clenched his jaw, glaring forward but Spinner went on, not taking the hint. "Dude I thought like, you loved her? Like seriously, obsessively , loved her? I saw it. Everyone saw it. I'm just shocked is all." He was quiet for a moment. "And for Ellie? I mean come on. I'd chose Emma in a heart beat. N-not that I like her or anything, I'm just saying she's got that 'something' you know? Wait, of course you know-"

Spinner was shocked when Sean abruptly turned and grabbed his collar, panting a little angrily and his eyes dark with anger. Spinner raised his hands in defense. Sean opened his mouth but then clenched his teeth and shoved Spinner away from him.

Spinner eyed Sean and then slowly followed when Sean stormed away. "Crazy ass." He muttered.

"Ok," Armstrong said, stopping by the nurses office and opened the door for them.

The nurse instructed them with their coach behind her. "You're going to pee in this cup," she displayed a plastic little cup. "Put the cap on it, and hand it to me when you're done." She pointed to the small bathroom in the corner where two other players were lined up. "You'll empty your pockets for us before you go in, so we know you're not pulling any funny business. Then, the results will be in by tomorrow for the game."

Sean nodded beside Spinner, and they went to line up behind the other players.

As Sean went to go in for his test, Jimmy was just coming out. The two shared an unsettling glance, until Sean turned his head, ignoring it and went to do his test. It was no biggie, he knew he was clean. He heard Jimmy snicker though as he shut the door behind him.

For the rest of the day, Sean just tried to think about the game tomorrow but Emma kept popping into his head. After school was done, on the way to his car, he saddened as he saw her walking home with Manny. It pained him physically and emotionally to be away from her.

"You're young," said a voice and Sean turned to Armstrong standing at his car next to his. "Don't worry about it."

Sean looked down for a moment until nodding his head but not meaning it. He just wanted everyone to stop talking to him, and about him. He just wanted Emma back.

Armstrong eyed Sean and had to ask, "you okay? I mean other than this, you seem a little different lately."

"Im fine." Sean lied, and his coach saw through him but just nodded.

"Alright. Come on in early tomorrow for practice. I want to make sure you guys are ready for the game tomorrow night."

"Yes sir." Sean answered, watching his coach get in his car but then something caught Sean's eye and he froze in place. Snake was at his car a few rows down and locked eyes with Sean. Sean wanted to go over, to explain everything, but Snake quickly looked away and sighed with an unfortunate tone, getting into his car.

When both Snake and Armstrong were out of site, Sean let out an angry roar and punched his car so badly he bellowed in pain and held onto his fist tightly as it throbbed. He pierced his lips together, panting hard from the blow and when he looked up he saw Alex and Amy passing, eying him strangely and his hand. Sean shook it and just turned away from them.

"I'll meet you later." Alex said to Amy who didn't go anywhere. "I said I'd meet you later." Alex taunted her and raised an eyebrow.

Amy rolled her eyes but got the hint, walking away. Alex turned towards Sean's retreated back and sighed, going over. "So you cheated on Golden Girl, huh?"

Sean turned back and was just stretching his hand out now, the pain minimizing. "I don't need your shit today, Alex."

Alex eyed him. He looked like hell. He looked tired too. And pale. "Why'd you do it?" he looked at her and she shrugged. She was serious. "Even a cold hard bitch could see how 'in love' you two were." She hated talking about 'feelings' but even she could feel something was off. Something wasn't right. "Did you seriously cheat on her? With Ellie?"

Sean looked around and then gazed slowly back to Alex. It was strange that all people who would finally hear him out, was Alex Nune.

He took a step closer and lowered his voice, "Ellie came to me when I was drunk off my ass Alex, at Jimmy's party. I had a fight with Emma and we weren't even back together yet. But Ellie, she...she said Emma came with some guy. I was drunk and angry and believed her. Then Ellie convinced me to sleep with her. She made me..say things." His face twisted in distain and then he looked a little scared. "Then she did things."

Alex was a little interested. She eyed Sean and had to ask, " _What things_?"

They ended up going to the Dot, where Sean told Alex **everything.** From Ellie sending him 100 texts. To her stalking him. Stalking Emma. Dating Jimmy to make him jealous. Stealing things from Emma's locker. And making him out to be the one obsessed with her.

"Holy shit." Alex breathed.

Sean nodded and gazed around the empty Diner. "Yeah."

Alex blinked but then after a moment, snickered. "I believe you." Sean's eyes widened at her. "Shit." She cursed, nodding, "I remember the day you went to see Emma after Rick attacked her. Ellie was so pissed, and jealous. She didn't even pity what had happened."

Sean put his head into his hands. How did he not know it had been going on this long?

"You need to tell Emma."

Sean laughed in sarcasm. "She won't even talk to me." He muttered under his breath, "I don't fucking blame her."

"At least warn her." Alex leaned in close, "What if Ellie does something to her? . .."

Sean's eyes locked with hers and then his blood ran cold. What if something did? He never thought about it. Was Ellie capable of something like that? Or was that crazy and too far? . . .


	20. My Names Not Sean

The next day, Sean entered Degrassi early before school started but stopped in the doorway when he saw not just his team getting warmed up for practice already in the gym, but Emma standing with Manny over by the cheerleaders near her locker.

Sean looked at his coach to see if he had time to just go and run to Emma. Maybe they could talk. When Sean saw Armstrong already glaring him down though in the gyms doorway, he knew the answer. To top it, Sean was a little late, but at least he was here. After another sleepless night. Judging by the look on Armstrong's face though, he wasn't happy.

Sean cursed under his breath, "Fuck it." He didn't care, he went straight for Emma and a few cheerleaders dodged out of his way.

Manny had glanced up from Emma and saw him coming first. He pushed through some girls and put his hand on Emma's arm, gently pulling her towards him, "Can we talk?" he pleaded.

Manny put her hands on her hips, "She had nothing to say to you, Sean."

Emma had been eying Sean as he looked at Manny also with so much regret. Manny was his friend too. As Emma looked Sean up and down though, she too noticed how tired and pale he looked. She hated to admit she was worried. She hated to admit she still loved him. God, she hated him too though!

"Cameron!" Armstrong bellowed.

Sean didn't turn and Emma noticed he was late for practice. Why was he doing that? Basketball meant a lot to him and he needed to focus on the game tonight.

"I need to talk to you, Em- please. Just let me talk." Sean whispered to her and she avoided looking into his hopeful eyes.

Her heart broke as she just stood there near him. She didn't even want to see him much less hear his voice right now.

"Sean. **Now."** Armstrong warned.

Sean licked his lips and quickly yelled over his shoulder, "A minute!" even some of the cheerleaders gasped. Nobody spoke back to Armstrong like that.

"Sean just go." Emma may of hated him right now, but she didn't want him to lose his chance for that scholarship.

Sean looked down, hurt. He nodded and let go of her slowly. His fingers ached to touch her again but he did as she said and slowly turned away, walking back to the gym as the nurse too had walked over with a chart.

Sean squished through Armstrong and the nurse, going to go practice with the team. Spinner nodded at him and said, "We're skin."

Sean just nodded, pealing his shirt off but was still biting his tongue, his head was not in the game.

Jimmy bounced the ball, he was on the 'shirts' team. He and Sean locked eyes for a moment until Sean's name was once again called. "Sean!"

He turned to Armstrong standing with Nurse Addison. "And Tyler." Armstrong added, but his eyes were on Sean with complete disappointment. Confused, Sean walked over, glancing between his coach and Nurse Addison. Tyler Fields followed behind Sean, his eyes red and high as a kite.

In the doorway, outside the gym, Manny and Emma stopped when they heard Sean and Tyler called to Armstrong and the nurse and Armstrong did NOT look happy. Emma eyed the scene as Manny whispered, "Come on." She went to pull Emma way. She knew Sean standing there shirtless was irresistible, but Emma had to pull herself together! No 6 pack and biceps could undo what he did.

"No." Emma simply stated. She could tell this looked serious.

Manny was a bit shocked. She turned to look at what Emma was watching and they heard Armstrong tell Sean personally, "You tested positive for Steroid's."

"What?" Sean looked blown away by the accusation. Even some team members called out 'bullshit' and Armstrong just crossed his arms.

"Tyler, you tested positive for marijuana. You'll be sitting this game out. Sean? You're disqualified"

Now the team went ape shit. Spinner even came up behind Sean and said, "Sean's never touched a drug, coach!" he hit Sean's arm, "Tell him."

Behind Emma, other students were coming up behind to see what the commotion was about.

"This is bullshit!" Sean exclaimed, "I'm not on anything!" he shouldn't have to tell anybody. That drug test shouldn't of been positive for anything.

"Well, who can really believe you with your track record lately?" taunted Jimmy's voice.

Sean had turned, his face hardened and something in him snapped. He stormed over to Jimmy and he sneered, "Did you do it? Did she put you up to it?" he shoved Jimmy back hard.

Emma by the doorway turned back slowly to Manny. She began to leave, knowing what was going to happen next. Still though, something didn't seem right. She knew those test results couldn't of been true. Sean was in good shape because he worked out. It wasn't drugs. He'd never take steroids.

Jimmy went to shove Sean back and snapped, "Get off me!"

Sean's fist flew back and then gunned forward across Jimmy's face. Some guys cried out in shock and then some cheered for a fight, but their friends tried to hold them back.

"Get off him, Sean!" Spinner tried to rip Sean off but Sean was strong. Armstrong came over and broke the guys apart. Sean was panting madly, but he gave Jimmy a good bloody nose.

"Get out!" Armstrong pointed at Sean, "You're off the team! Kiss that scholarship goodbye." The team went quiet. They knew Sean was one of their best players. Some even knew this steroid thing couldn't be true.

Sean turned to charge out, and shot back over his shoulder, "Screw you." He was so pissed, so angry. So done with this shit. His life was once again miserable. He was stupid to think he could be happy, be back with Emma, and get some scholarship to a college he didn't belong in. That wasn't his world. It was just a dream.

(((*)))

Jay came out of his room from getting ready after his shower. His hair was still wet, and he ran his towel through it before throwing it to the floor and heading to the kitchen for something to eat. He stopped when he saw Sean at the fridge.

He glanced at the clock and said, "Man, shouldn't you be at school?"

Sean turned after grabbing a beer and cracked it open.

"Isn't uh, the big game tonight?" Jay wasn't so sure he should be drinking.

Jay then cringed when he saw the slight bruise on Sean's cheekbone but it was nothing compared to what Jimmy got. The bruise wasn't even a size of a looney.

Sean didn't answer, just downed the beer. Jay iched the back of his neck but then pointed at his face then Sean's, "Someone smack you?" he chuckled a bit to make a joke, "Emma give it to you?"

Sean glared now. He finished the beer and threw it into the garbage can. "I'm not in the mood to talk about her right now."

Jay raised his eyebrows, watching Sean go sit in his living room. "Fine." He shrugged and leaned on the doorway.

Sean scoffed as he sat on the couch and just sat there holding another beer but didn't open it yet.

"Just keep getting drunk, skipping school, and ruining your relationship with Emma more and more." Jay said and gave him a wide plastic smile when Sean glanced back at him.

Sean threw his arms out and stood up, "What the fuck else am I do to Jay?!" his friend frowned. "My life I just got back, is gone! People think I actually cheated on Emma. She won't talk to me! Now the whole school thinks I'm on steroids."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Wait, what?"

"Yea!"

"You're not on any drugs though…..are you?" he asked.

Sean glared at him. Jay nodded and lifted his hands. He knew Sean wasn't. "It's Ellie." Sean knew it. He just fucking knew it. "She did something, I know it."

Jay wasn't sure if he believed that. He was sure Sean did though. "Man.. you can't blame everything on her."

Sean turned his back on him but began to laugh in disbelief, "Even my own friend doesn't believe me."

Jay clenched his jaw and looked down. It's not he didn't want to believe him it's just, how could of Ellie done this? Those were Sean's drug tests only..

Sean then remembered, his eyes widening. "She writes for the school paper. She has the after hours key. She probably went in and-"

"You're acting crazy man." Jay stepped forward infront of Sean and lowered his voice seriously, "If you really love Emma, you have to forget about Ellie. Leave it alone. Go mend your relationship with your girl before it's over, for good." He saddened for his friend, "I know you love her, man. It was a mistake. It happens."

Sean shook his head, "Emma looked right through me today." He swallowed hard, "You don't know how that feels."

Jay frowned deeply, watching as his friend's heart broke infront of him.

(((((((((*******))))))

Meanwhile, at school, Jimmy parked his car far in the back parking lot. It seemed Ellie was 'rewarding' him for getting into a fight with Sean.

He and Ellie were skipping class, and Ellie was on top of him, making out heavily and his fingers swayed through her redheaded hair.

"Mm." she moaned, as his hands wondered down her body. "Yesss." She kissed him deeper, and grinded against him causing Jimmy to groan. " _Oh Sean_ …"

Jimmy heard it. It was quiet, but it was said. He moved away quickly and shoved her less than gently off of him before sitting up and closing his eyes.

Ellie was breathless from the kiss. She looked angry after she was pushed back into the passenger seat and snapped, "What the hell?"

Jimmy glared out the window and then threw his arms out, "My names not Sean!"

Ellie licked her lips nervously and gazed around, wondering if she actually just really said Sean's name out loud. Jimmy looked at her and finally he took it in. He shook his head and snickered before rolling his hands down his face but then cringed when he touched his beaten nose. He glared viciously back at Ellie, "It's true, isn't it?"

She said nothing. Her eyes were wide with worry though.

"Fuck." Jimmy rolled his head back, "He was right…" Sean was telling the damn truth.

"What are you talking about?" Ellie sat up and tried to put her hand on his arm to caress it, "Baby-"

"You're fucked. You know that?" he saw her jump a little away from him. "You pinned me against him! You said HE wasn't over YOU but it's you, isn't it?"

Ellie's eyes burned with tears and he opened his car door, getting out. "Jimmy." She said but he got out. "Jimmy!"

Jimmy ignored her, leaving to go back to class. "Fuck this." He muttered. He owed Sean a big apology.

Ellie looked out the window that was rolled down and screamed his name once more, "Jimmy, come back here!" it's like she was slowly losing her mind. She was seeing red. She hit the base of the window madly and then cried out, "SEAN!"

It echoed across the parking lot.


	21. The Set Up

Sean walked back to school before it was over. Jay followed behind him and looked a little nervous but had decided to back his best friend up. Manny would be pissed..but him and Sean talked more and maybe Sean was onto something. Plus, him and Sean were bro's.

Sean flew the front door open and charged inside, heading for the school presidents' office. He stopped in the doorway and knocked, a little breathless. Alex turned from inside. She sat with Marco, going over their prom dance. She was shocked to see Sean and Jay so asked, "What's up?"

A few minutes later, all four of them were looking at a screen monitor. Marco sat infront of it, clicking the mouse.

Jay pointed at the screen, "Go to 4 pm, right after school got out."

Sean nodded, waiting impatiently as Marco was checking the school cameras from the other day. Alex pointed when she noticed, "There's Nurse Addison leaving her office.."

There was nothing for several minutes. Marco jumped a little when Sean grabbed the mouse from him and moved the video a little forward until they saw what they wanted to see. Ellie Nash, on camera, sneaking into the nurses office to switch Sean's drug test.

"…and there's Ellie." Alex said in shock. They all stared at the screen.

"Why would she do this?" Marco asked. He stared in awe at the screen and then back at the three behind him.

Alex turned to Sean and raised an eyebrow, "I got a taser from my mom?" she suggested jokingly, "Want to use it?"

Jay snickered and Sean just clenched his jaw. He knew it. He was finally glad that other people were too. Maybe he should tell someone else? The cops? Raditch?

((*)))

Emma took a deep breath as she stood up and the bell rang. She grabbed her bag, swinging it over her shoulder then grabbed her books, holding them against her chest. The bell had rung and everyone was moving quick to get out. She kept a normal average pace, her eyes glancing around the halls sadly. She had nowhere special to be.. .. not anymore.

Manny wanted her to come to the game tonight, but she most definitely wouldn't. All day though, Emma couldn't stop thinking about what happened with Sean.

When she headed to her locker, Miss Suaves office door opened and the devil himself came out. Emma nearly walked right into him but gasped and looked up just before. He turned his head when he noticed her too and his mouth opened, needing to say something while he had her here but nothing came out.

"Emma, wait" he begged, turning her from walking off in the other direction. Emma sighed but turned back and he seemed rather flustered. Paranoid even maybe?

Emma eyed him, wondering if it really was steroids?

"We need to talk. But not here." Upon the odd request, Emma was a **little** curious.

((*))

Spinner nodded at Emma and Sean as they came into the Dot. It was closed, but Spinner slipped Sean the key who nodded gratefully at him.

"Thanks Man." He said honestly and Spinner smiled a bit back at him. "No problem, dude."

Emma had already just walked in, laying her bag and books on the counter before dropping herself onto a stool. Sean closed the door behind Spinner, locking it, and it was just him and Emma. His heart was pounding a little and he wanted to roll his eyes at himself. It was just Emma. Simple, bold and beautiful, girl he's loved since he saw her, _Emma._

He went over, sitting next to her but noticed her shift a small amount away from him. They both leaned on the counter now, staring at the wall ahead.

That's when Sean had to say everything, and I mean everything. Even the parts she probably didn't want to hear. How Ellie forced him to say I love you to her in the pool, knowing he wouldn't mean it. How she lied to him about Emma being with Peter at the party. How she stalked them. How she stole Emma's flower from off her locker. And how he and Alex even found the footage of Ellie sabotaging his drug test. Slowly, Emma put the pieces together on why Ellie wanted to be friends so bad with her. Then, Sean told her his plan on how to solve this problem with Ellie..but involved Emma.

It was now dark. They must have been talking for a while. Or more like they had stopped talking and now were just thinking, letting everything settle in.

Sean finally ended the silence. "She did it, Em."

Emma was now laying her arms and head down on the counter. She was _so_ tired. Sean on the other hand put his head into his hands leaning forward on the table and then took a deep breath before looking back at her and crossed his arms.

Emma sat up and looked toward him, but not **at him.** Sean's face twisted with hurt and he whispered, "Look at me, baby."

Emma avoided his eyes and her body tensed when he cupped her face and touched her so softly. He had so much empowering emotions in his eyes that she couldn't avoid much longer. Her eyes shimmered too but she put her hands on his wrists to lower his hands off of her and his chest caved.

He looked down at the ground hard, "I miss you."

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. She tried to ignore that. She got back to the topic. "I know you weren't guilty of doing those drugs Sean." He looked up with hope in his eyes.

"Yea?"

She nodded and sighed. "I knew the moment it happened. I believe she set you up. I believe you."

He let a breath out he didn't even know he was holding. But then he noticed Emma's eyes still shimmering and she then got up. She cried, "But I still don't forgive you. And I need you to just give me space.. _If_ I do this." She whispered softly, her voice cracking. "Okay?"

Sean numbly nodded and watched her grab her things. Before she left, she gasped when his hand grasped hers when she went to grab her book.

"I know you still love me." He stood up and got closer to her. She closed her eyes when he placed his other hand on the back of her nape. He leaned his forehead down to hers, "I know I'm a screw up, but don't give up on us, Em."

She put her hands on his chest, pushing him away from her slowly. She just gave him one last look and left him alone, standing there in the Dot. Sean swallowed the lump down in his throat. Emma walked back to school quickly, choking on silent sobs.

(((**)))

Sean had went back to school after locking up the Dot again, and the gym was cheering so loud he heard it in the halls.

"You really showed up to the game?" Spinner asked, standing by the doorway in his uniform. Jimmy stood next to him and they were all peering into the gym, seeing the crowd going wild, waiting for the game to start and then the whistle blew.

Sean just shrugged and joked, "Maybe I can't play, but I can watch right?"

Spinner just shrugged with a small chuckle. It still sucked Sean couldn't play though. Meanwhile, Jimmy connected eyes with Sean as Spinner ran to out to join his team by the bench.

Jimmy rubbed his chin and hated to say it, "I'm sorry." He told Sean. He said over all the screaming, "You were right."

With a nod, Jimmy went also to meet up with the team. Sean nodded, watching him go. He was glad Jimmy saw through Ellie's lies. And speaking of the devil, she sat in the stands, staring right at him and got up.

"That's right." Sean muttered, turning around and leaving the gym area. ' _Follow me again, you psycho.'_ he thought, walking faster towards the doors.

The hall was empty now. He walked towards his locker but slowed his pace down. The further he walked, the darker the halls got and the quieter the cheers in the gymnasium got. When he stopped at his locker, it was silent, until she spoke up and stood behind him.

"Sean."

Sean stared at his locker before opening up and just glanced over his shoulder, "What, Ellie?"

She stood there, looking like a nervous bomb about to go off. "Are you mad at me?" After a long pause, she heard him take a long sigh before he turned around completely towards her. She locked eyes with him, and tilted her head.

Sean took a step closer, and her heart skipped a beat. But then he snickered, "I'm not mad at you, Ellie. I'm not _anything_ towards you." She frowned deeply, "I'm definitely **finished** with you though."

Ellie's mouth hung and she tried to say something but he lifted his finger to stop her.

"Save it." He whispered. "I want nothing to do with you. I want you to stop following me..and I want you to know, after this game is done, Armstrong and me are going to have a chat." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a USB. "I'm going to show him whats on this, and it's you.. breaking into the nurses office to switch my drug test."

Ellie's eyes blazed with fury but also fear, gazing at the USB and suddenly lunged for it. Sean gripped it tightly and then hissed in pain when she actually scratched his hand hard to try to retain it.

"Give it to me, Sean!"

Being stronger, Sean yanked his arm back and snapped at her, "You think this is the only one?!"

Ellie shook in fear, and gazed around the empty hall.

Sean caught his breath from the insane struggle and snickered, "What the hell is wrong with you? I knew something was messed up with you, but I didn't know it went this far."

"All I did was try to love you!" she cried and began to sob, she stepped forward and put her hands on his shoulders, "Why can't we go back to being **us?** Before **she** came in and ruined it?!"

"There is no us, Ellie. How many times do I have to say it? It's always been Emma, even before you!"

Ellie shrieked in anger before turning on her feet and storming away. Sean's eyes widened a bit, looking around and wondering what the fuck that was.

When Ellie got back near the gym, she saw Manny hugging Emma goodbye by the doorway. The game was still going on, and she heard Manny ask, "You sure you don't want to stay?"

Emma sadly shook her head, "I'm just going to go."

"Okay.." Manny nodded and smiled a little to her friend who waved goodbye and went out the door. When Manny turned, Ellie hid behind the corner she came out from. When she saw Manny's shadow go by, she glanced at the door Emma left out of and followed behind quickly.

Meanwhile Emma was in the parking lot, taking short cuts in between cars to get to hers. She reached for her keys in her purse and she looked up when she thought she heard foot steps. She turned, and there Ellie stood, right behind her. Emma gasped a bit and jumped back.

"Ellie.." she drifted off and looked around. It was pitch black. The parking lot was full of cars but nobody was around. They were all in the school. Suddenly, Emma felt a little scared.

Ellie looked frazzled. She tried to laugh it off and asked, "How are you, Emma? I just…I just wanted to talk to you, about everything."

Emma squinted her eyes at her, "About **what** Ellie? We don't have anything to speak about."

Ellie bit her tongue and watched Emma slowly turn but kept her eye on her just incase. "Are you still mad at Sean?"

Emma turned from her opening her car door and looked at Ellie unbelievably. "That's not any of your business."

Ellie clenched her jaw, "But you should be."

Emma raised her eyebrow. She had enough of this. She closed the car door and turned back to Ellie, "There's rumors, Ellie. About you. About your weird obsession with Sean.. about things you've been doing…"

"I'm not obse-" Ellie tried to regain her posture. Emma was getting under her skin. She couldn't let that happen. "We're in love." She eyed Emma up and down, "And we're getting back together."

Emma caught Ellie's bluff. "That's funny." Emma taunted with amusement, "Cause just two hours ago, he told he loved **me** , and he missed me." She saw Ellie flinch. Emma decided to dig deeper, for all the pain Ellie has caused her, it was only fair. "And maybe, just to piss you off? I'll take him back."

Ellie stepped closer to Emma with rage in her eyes. "If you do that-"

"You'll what?" Emma spoke too soon, and Ellie grabbed her arms, her black nails digging so hard into it that Emma cried out. Ellie smacked Emma back against her car hard and just before anything else happened, Ellie suddenly cried out in pain by a jolt in her back and Emma's eyes widened, watching the girl shake before she dropped to the ground.

In front of Emma now stood Alex. Emma's eyes widened at her but nodded very gratefully and happily at her. Alex nodded back and raised her hand to show off her taser, "I told Sean it works." She confirmed.

Behind Emma's car, Sean came out quickly and walked around fast to go to Emma. "You okay?" he asked seriously, cupping her face and then checking out the scratches on her arms.

Ellie was still on the ground, breathless, and finished shaking. She looked up at Sean, Emma and Alex looking down at her. "What.." she was so confused. She tried to crawl back up but she was too weak. She couldn't believe it. They had totally set her up.

Sean had been behind Emma's car with Alex the whole time. He really wasn't sure if Ellie would physically hurt Emma and now he felt awful that she did…but at least they caught it on camera. He knew there would be threats, but this would be better to get Ellie possibly even charged. Oh yeah. Did you hear? They recorded it all.

Ellie saw someone else come out from hiding. Jay and Marco. Marco was recording with his own camera. Her own best friend was even against her.

"Marco.." her voice cracked, and she began to tear up. "Please, help me." She raised her hand for him to grab it.

Marco continued to record as Jay warned, "Don't fall for it." Marco nodded, knowing.

Ellie clenched her teeth in anger and finally got up, but before she could do anything, she heard a voice call her name in the distance and it sounded familiar.

"Ellie!"

They all turned towards the school again, and they saw Ellie's mom, standing with Snake and Mrs Suave. Manny stood with them as well. She was the one who was told to get them after Emma left and if Ellie followed behind.

Yup, they planned this to a Tee.

"Mom?" she whispered. She looked confused, but then horrified as the adults were coming over. She turned to Sean and she went as red as her hair, "You set me up?!"

"Feels shitty, doesn't it?" he growled right back at her, standing infront of Emma protectively and glaring right back at Ellie.

Ellie was so angry, but her heart began to pound the closer her mom and Mr Simpson got. "What are they going to do to me?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes.

Emma eyed Ellie closely and couldn't help but almost…pity her. "You need help, Ellie."

Even Ellie was shocked by the softness in Emma's voice. There was no anger. Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat as tears shed, but nodded, turning towards the adults to accept her fate.

"Ellie, come with us." Mrs Suave said, and Mr Simpson put a hand around Ellie's arm. Ellie's mother looked at her daughter with worry and disappointment, but possibly disappointment in herself. Was it her fault Ellie went off the hinges?

"We're going to get you some help, Elenor." Her mother promised.

With shimmering eyes, Ellie began to walk away with them but whispered, "Mom, I'm scared."

"I know, sweetie."

Back with Emma and Sean, Marco closed the camera and took a deep breath, "Who keeps this?" he asked, taking the disc out and putting it into a safe CD case.

"I'll take it." Emma said, "I'll make sure my Dad gets it." Marco nodded, handing it over and she put it in her bag. Marco quietly said goodnight to everyone and left.

"I'm going to go too." Alex said and took a deep breath. What an interesting night to say the least. She caught Emma's gaze and the blonde gave her a small smile. Alex just smirked, nodded, and left. Maybe her and Cause girl could be friends one day..

Hell had frozen over.

"What a fucking lunatic." Jay chimed in. Classis Hogart comment. Even Manny giggled a bit but rolled her eyes.

"Em, you want a ride with us?"

Emma looked at Manny and then snuck a glance at Sean who blinked and looked away, clenching his jaw. He really wanted to talk to Emma alone, but if she wanted to leave with her friends, he didn't blame her. **But,** he really didn't want her to be alone tonight. He wanted to be the one to stay with her.

Manny eyed Emma when the blonde just gave her a look. Being her best friend, Manny understood and gave a small smile, nodding. She grabbed Jay's hand and pulled him away to leave Sean and Emma alone.

When Sean looked back up, he noticed their friends gone and him alone with Emma. His stomach flopped a bit and he cleared his throat, "I can drive you home?"

Emma nodded, gazing into his eyes softly. "Thanks."

He nodded sincerely, his eyes still on her like in a trance. Emma smiled gently. .

When he drove her home, he also walked her to the door. Spike was at some hairstylist convention with Baby Jack and Snake was probably either at the hospital or police station with Ellie and her mother still.

When Emma opened her door, Sean sadly nodded and rubbed the side of his neck. "Goodnight." He went to turn. A hand shot out and grabbed his arm. He was shocked, but turned back to Emma and saw the vulnerable look in her eyes.

"Can you stay?" she looked down and gazed back up a little wearily, "My moms not home and Snakes probably still dealing with..all of this."

Sean's mouth hung but he nodded. "Yea. Yeah, ofcoure." He held the door open as she led him inside and when he stepped in he sighed happily. Home sweet home.


	22. I'm Happy

Emma pierced her lips together before turning back to Sean and rubbing her arms. It was a little cold in her room. "Your um, your stuff is still in that dresser."

Sean looked at her, and then the dresser. He nodded and slowly walked over, opening the top drawer.

Emma turned towards her bathroom and went in, closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath and glanced at herself in the mirror. She fixed her hair a bit. Then she gazed at the marks on her arms. She grabbed a towel, and turned the sink on, soaking it. When she cleaned the blood up, the marks weren't so bad.

At least they'd heal. Just add it to the 'scar' list.

"You okay?" she heard Sean's voice through the door. Her heart skipped a beat and she bit her lip.

"Yea." She called back.

She started to undress, turning on the shower and then wrapping a towel around herself as she brushed her hair out before she went in. She bit her lip again though before she got in the shower, and gazed at the door.

Outside in Emma's room, Sean sat on the edge of the bed, just listening to the shower. He waited patiently, but got up instantly when the door opened but the shower was still running. When he turned, Emma was already right infront of him and he was startled, and a little worried.

"Everything alright?"

Emma nodded but leaned up, pressing her lips to his. He was stunned, but then shut his eyes, and kissed her back slowly, still a bit confused. His heart pounded happily though and finally his body could move. His hands went to her waist, pulling her in closer. Realising now she was just in her towel, he sighed into the kiss.

Why was she punishing him like this?

Emma pulled away, breathless, and stared at him. He still gave her butterfly's.

His eyes were still closed and he cringed. "Em.. You said you wanted space.." He was trying to respect her wishes. What if she regretted this? What if this was him taking 'advantage'?

She nodded, raising her hands to rest them against his jaw line. Her thumbs circled slowly against his skin. "Yea, and you were going to do it. So thankyou. But, I decided I don't want it."

He stared at her unsurely.

She smiled a little but understood his confusion. "You were right, I still love you. Even though you hurt me." He flinched. "But I know you're sorry." He nodded. She leaned closer, "And I miss you too, _a lot_."

Her eyes watered a bit and he kissed her again, passionately. Their mouths separated and his tongue teased against hers. She pulled away for a millisecond to whisper, "Come in with me." They kissed again, but while backing up towards the bathroom.

Not knowing what she meant, Sean got the hint when she pulled him towards the shower that was still running.

((**))

About 20 minutes later, they were both in the shower, both in total ecstasy with the bathroom steaming up from the hot water.

Sean's lips kissed around Emma's shoulders, his hands on her arms, careful to be gentle around her scratches. He kissed soothingly around her wounds and Emma whimpered but not by the pain but by Sean's member stretching her. It felt like forever since she'd been with him this way again.

He had her back against the shower wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he slowly pulled out and deeply pushed back into her. She gasped and moaned. He kissed up her neck now, the warm water hitting his back. Her fingers clenched his strong muscles.

"Don't stop," Emma panted. The sound of the water flowing and her moans were probably Sean's most favorite sounds in the world.

They kissed passionately. He started to dive into her harder and he opened her eyes, making sure that was alright and he saw the pleasure and desperation in her eyes as she nodded and loved every second of it. Jesus. One day, he'd marry this girl and he knew it. Emma was his, forever.

Even if there was nobody home, he loved how she still tried to stay quiet. Keyword: Tried.

She couldn't prevent breathless moans and cries escaping her mouth or the shivers and convulsions that started to sweep through her body. Only then did she look up. Her big brown eyes staring up at him set Sean off too. She smiled a little mischievously, it was sexy. She knew the effect she was causing for Sean. And she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

See? She never acted like the victim. She always somehow survived, and she was still bold, and beautiful. Amazing.

Sean stroked her cheek whilst his hand gripped a fistful of her hair and held her there. He looked deep into her eyes and said firmly, "I love you."

She nodded but was coming now. She shuddered and gasped, squealing a bit as her legs tightened around Sean and she screamed his name. He groaned in pleasure and followed soon after, exploding inside of her and filled her. He nuzzled her neck as his body clung to hers. Her fingers caressed through his wavy wet hair and he grunted in her ear, "Fuck,"

She widened her legs apart for him to push once more into her and he let out a breath he was holding and clenched his teeth as he saw stars. After a minute, they could still feel the tingles through their bodies and were completely exhausted. For how controlling Emma was time to time, she stayed there in Sean's arms, not even worried right now that they didn't use protection. All that mattered right now, was her and him.

She kissed his cheek as he slowly and safely lowered her back down. Her legs were shakey, so her hands stayed on his firm shoulders.

((*))

When they went to bed, Emma wore one of his big baggy shirts. He crawled in right behind her wearing just his boxers, and wrapped an arm closely around her and Emma melted back against him.

The lights were off, and Emma smiled, closing her eyes.

With Sean, she felt safe again. Without Sean, she probably would of never gotten through what had happened with Rick, and with eachother, they helped Ellie get the help she truly needed before she turned into something like Rick.

Together, Emma and Sean were stronger.

Sean couldn't sleep though, not yet. Something still bothered him. He tightened his arms more around Emma and said, "I didn't think she'd go at you, Em." He whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Maybe it was good she did." Emma said, "They'll know now how unstable she is. They'll deal with her now."

Sean swallowed but nodded.

Emma spoke again, "And I knew you were watching." She glanced over her shoulder. He nodded, knowing she and he both knew he wouldn't of let Ellie go any further. He had popped out from behind the car the moment Ellie lunged at her. Alex had just beat him to it. Emma didn't want to know anyways what Sean would of done if he got to Ellie first.

Finally, Sean could shut his eyes peacefully.

(((**)))

Sean had gotten his scholarship back. Even if he didn't play in the finale game, the scouts saw him in the game before and they loved him. After proving his drug test had been tampered with, Sean was now going to college, and Emma was making sure he was getting into the same one as her.

Highschool was over, and after lecturing Sean about studying hard, all that hard work was finally worth it. It was now summer, and Emma and Sean smiled as they came down into her room one last time.

Emma taped her last box to go and she sighed, "Last one. Finally."

"Finally?" Sean taunted, raising an eyebrow at her, "I'm doing all the heavy lifting."

Emma giggled putting her hands on her hips as she looked around and took a deep breath. She was going to miss her house, and her room, but her and Sean had picked out a nice apartment near their new campus.. and it happened to be the same apartment Jay Hogart lived in. He was still pestering Manny also to move in with him. Emma insisted it'd be like the show 'friends' if she did. That seemed to excite Manny more than anything Jay said.

Emma pouted, "I'm going to miss this room." She sat on the bed and than laid down, pulling Sean's hand. Climbing onto the bed, Sean propped himself over her smirking down at her. After a moment, he leaned down and kissed her softly on the mouth. Emma smiled into the kiss and then pulled away, trying to cover her mouth from laughing a little. Sean raised an eyebrow, not sure whether to be offended or not.

"Am I doing something funny, Em?"

"No, its just…I don't remember being this happy in so long! Its amazing. You just make me forget all the bad things, you know?"

Sean's eyes lit up happily. "Good. You deserve all the happiness you can get."

Emma put her hands up on his neck, "We both do." She insisted. After a shared moment, Sean helped her up and then lifted up her last box, carrying it outside to his truck.

All packed and ready to go, Emma hugged her parents goodbye and even they hugged Sean goodbye too. Everything was perfect again. Snake and Sean acted like as if father and son again. They always did have some weird secret bond.

Emma smiled waving to her mom as Sean closed the passanger door behind her when she got into the truck. Walking around the truck, Sean smirked happily as he put one of his hands in his back pockets, checking to make sure his ring box was still in there for later.

….you know what'll happen next for this power couple.

 **Far from.. The End**

 **A/n: The End! Hope you guys enjoyed. If one of you didn't get the ending; he has plans to propose ;) Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys mean a lot and your words keep me motivated to write more! Seriously! I'm so happy you enjoy my stories. I'm trying to finish a lot of them and now I can scratch this one off the list! It didn't feel rushed either. I didn't want it to. Hope you felt that same! This was a story I wanted to write for Semma for actually a very long time. I always felt Ellie had potential for an inner breakdown and sometimes you gotta make someone a villain to have a good story, but she hopefully will get help and a happy ending too :)**


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